How did/do you deal with...

[Chula]

This frustration, anger, and down right depression? I try to bring myself up tryign to think of the blessing I do have in life but this depression of being without my hubby not being able to talk to him as much (maybe once a week twice if I am lucky) but I can't trick my mind into being happy when I am NOT. I don't even want to talk on the phone, I hate to come here but it's out of habit and here I am writing to people whom know what I am going through. Ok I got it out. Bye for now.

[joy&pain]

I try to remember that this is temporary and that we are going to have a future free of fear and full of possibilities for my husband job-wise, saving for retirement, etc. If we can just get through the waiting...

In our case, I really feel like we procrastinated and God knew if it were up to us, we'd still would be procrastinating and living in fear. I know that HE allowed this all to happen for our good and for a future better than we ever dreamed would be possible.

Procrastinating and ignorance has really cost us... If we had started the paperwork right after we got married, we would have eliminated about 12 months of the almost 18 months we've been separated so far. We're paying the price for that. But we're smarter and stronger now and have the ability to help others dealing with immigration that we weren't able to do before all this. So I'm still thankful.

[ohcelia]

Hello Chula.
I feel you. As human beings, we ask our self. How much more can I take.
It seem like every time we get just a little sparkle of life back. We end up getting stomp on again. I even came to the point of not believing in God!
I was angry at him. I lost faith in what I believed in, I would even pray and ask to let me see some kind of hope. But all I could see is darkness. If only you knew the crap I been through, the things I lost, and the evil I seen. Yet
somewhere back in my mind I know there's........GOD WATCHING.
This year October 26. I will have 15 years clean and sober...It hasn't been easy. But no matter how many times I get kicked down. I do not turn to drugs nor alcohol. It's gottin to the point that I fight with God. I tell (YELL)
at him: If you testing me to see if I am going to use again..IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!..So go and find someboby else to pick on. You see life throws ball at you. So what are we as human suppose to do: Get at CATCHERS MITT! and play the game of life.....WISHING EVERYONE LOVE............THAT GIRL!

[joy&pain]

Ohcelia: Congratulations on 15 yrs of clean & sober no matter what life throws at you.

[mi_corazon]

Chula...I hear you girl! It gets hard for me too when I talk to my husband and we talk twice a week. It is hard because I can hear the sadness in his voice that he is not here with me and our children. I can't take much more of this...being the mom and the dad...being strong for myself and my children...working and trying to pay the bills. It's tough! However in the end we will be rewarded with the best gift of all...our husbands. I have to continually remind myself of that. All will be better in the end. No more fear of deportation, he can come and go as he pleases (to Mex), so on and so on. If you need anybody to talk to please don't hesitate to PM me. I am here for you and for whom ever else needs it...I mean it!

Ohcelia...congrats on being sober for so long...remain strong. I believe in you.

[Chula]

Yes I know I shouldn't be like this, it just sometimes gets the best of me and I need a lil lift me up :) Thanks, this morning it hit kinda hard I knew I would get through it but at the moment it feels like a ton of bricks covering the hole at the end of the tunnel and when I see no light I freak out so to say!
ohcelia I am sorry I didn't congradulate you earlier! I am so proud of you that shows strength within it's self you can pull through anything now!!!! GOD has given you that strength I am sure to help others!!!! You take care everyone!

[chilanga]

Chula...

You'll definately have moments where this really hits you. Trust me, I know. As with any difficult situation, you just try to get through it one day at a time. I tried to find things to do to get my mind away from dwelling on how unhappy I was. I also sought counseling with a therapist for the days where I felt like I was going to go over the edge. You'll get through this, Chula... Besides, we're all here for each other! :)

[Chula]

Thank you so much talking with you fine people helps alot trust me and not that I don't love you all but I have to give a special shout out to my bestest friend GINA (gdalicia) she (and I don't know how she knows) but when I am down she always seems to call me at that moment just like today I was sititng at home crying on my lunch break and when she called I tried to compose and not cry she knew and then I let her have it she is my rock!

ALL of you are great support and for you I thank each and every one of you ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ce&ll]

Chula,
We are all here for you! If anyone know what you are going throught its definately us!:wink: Just remember it's not forever and the outcome will totally be worth it at the end. I used to work alot and just do anything possible to keep me busy/occupied so that my time away from my husband went by as fast as possible. Have you thought of maybe taking up a new hobby?? I used to different crafts and scrapbooking just to keep me busy. We here when you need to vent, cry when you feel like crying, scream if you feel like screaming! Don't keep emotions bottled up!

[slubberry]

To quote FES from the 70's show, "Candy and Porno!":erm:

[pen1137]

sheesh, slub...hehe


pretty true, tho! :lol:

[Dorothea]

There are some days when it's close to impossible to deal with it all... I just want to quit everything and get on a plane to be with my man. I just keep reminding myself it's not what's best for HIM and it's not what's best for me either.
We are all making things work the best we can, Chula. You don't haveto feel good all the time. Just getting through one day at a time will eventually get you and your husband a big reward. Just think what a great job you are doing of getting through each day!
I know what you mean about crying on lunch breaks. That's a common occurance for me too. But it's okay, we are going through A LOT and we deserve to cry if we need to!
Dang it!

[Sandra]

chula i know how you feel. i was in school and working when my husband left. but just recently i graduated and im just working so now i have more time to think about things. i am kind of in denial that he is gone, i know that my sound weird. but when reality hits it hits hard and i go through tough times where i dont want to do nothing and not deal with people. i have so much going for me,,,,,,but at this time im not happy without my husband. the good thing is that we talk to each other on the phone or through aim. be strong chula and take it one day at a time...also you have ellie, gina and other people who are here to help you out in anway or form. also god has been a major strength for me

[Sandra]

god is a good god. he has plans for us that we may not understand why we have to go through these tough times. i was listening to pastor joel osteen on a day that i was like god why am i going through all this and why couldnt i have been fortunate to be one of those lucky people who went through the pilot program. but i am putting all my trust in god that he will make things come out with a positive outcome, but my part is trusting and having faith in him. i am too tired physically emotionally mentally with the immigration process and have giving it all to god. i dont go to church but i watch pastor osteen a http://joelosteen.lakewood.cc/site/PageServer?pagename=JOM_homepage and if anybody wants to hear his sermons you just have to register and you can watch his videos. i really enjoyed his last sermon called let god do it his way.

[ce&ll]

I agree, God has some plan for all of us! I don't know what it is yet, but he has some reason behind all of this. Everything happens for a reason.

[bamajoey]

My God it is hard at times. I have been waiting for my wife for over 3 years. But I have a good Idea that will help. LISTEN TO BEETLE MUSIC. or any music that makes you feel good. I like beetle music because some of the songs sound like they are talking to me. How I feel right now going through not being with the one I love. Example of great beetle music is : IT WON'T BE LONG, ALL MY LOVING, PLEASE MISTER POSTMAN, YOU REALLY GOT A HOLD ON ME. early beetles are the best although I really love the Abbey Road cd.

What music do you listen too.
Take care,
Lov, Bamajoey

[aprilstorm]

Oh my friend..I hate that you are feeling this way. At the end I was a basket case. I know how it feels..at times I couldn't take it anymore and I thought the day would never come..it got to the point that I didn't want to be around anyone...you know..just leave me alone....there were times when I said that if God doesn't give you more than you can handle then he didn't know me very well..I have had a lot of crap in my life..we have had so many deaths in our family that just isn't right..a lot of children have died in my family....I had a very abusive dysfunctional childhood and then I married 2 abusive men..I also was raped..then I met Cristian and I didn't want to let him in my life..but I did and then my happiness was torn from me one more time..I really felt my life was doomed to be hell..then when I wasn't expecting it we got approved and now he is back home.
It is awful having to be apart from our loved ones and it isn't right that we have to go through this. It seems that no one outside our "immigration" family understand why we are so sad and their innocent comments tear us up.
Hang on just a little while longer. I am here for you anytime.

[ratito921]

Hang in there Chula. I promise you the pay off is so worth it.

[maru1979]

It will be sooner than later when you get the great news Chula.... Like others have said ..... God knows why we go through what he go through... I like reading the poem of footsteps.... Just a little longer......

[Chula]

Yea you all are right it will be soon it almost has to right? Like Laurel the backlog can't last forever right :(