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saritaj14
07-01-2009, 07:20 PM
Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew up in Different Worlds
by Ruby K. Payne

Ruby Payne is a woman who has written many books about poverty. Many school districts have had their teachers read it and you can have people come and do workshops for teachers to better understand differences in middle class lifestyles/beliefs (where most teachers come from) and people who come from poverty.

While reading another book by Ruby Payne I discovered that she also wrote the above mentioned book about spouses who come from different economic backgrounds. I certainly didn't grow up in a wealthy family but we were a middle class family and we always had our needs met. My husband,of course, grew up in extreme poverty in MX. I know there are many people on this site who are in the same situation as my husband and I~very different upbringings. This book may be of interest to you. It also talks about how there can be conflicts when people of the middle class marry someone who grew up in a high society world. I had never really thought about that conflict as well.

theline
07-01-2009, 08:39 PM
did she also do the work on cultures of poverty, middle class, and the wealthy? i think my district did do a teaching training using her stuff as part of a positive behavior support committee development. they gave us a quiz to take to see how well wed survivie in all 3... it actually really helped me and my husband understand our priorities and worl on compromise. very useful stuff...

saritaj14
07-02-2009, 04:10 AM
Yep. That's her. This book does that too....it's like you live in poverty if....and lists many things I don't know how to do (like bail someone out of jail). It also does that for upper class...do you know how to set a table using a bazillion pieces of silverware, etc.

hectorswife
07-02-2009, 04:34 AM
Making a note right now in the moleskine! I want to read all of her books. Thanks for sharing!!

Hope426
07-02-2009, 02:38 PM
Wow, those books sound really interesting! This will be great to do with my hubby and see how different/similar we are. Thanks for sharing this!

saritaj14
07-02-2009, 02:44 PM
There were some very eye opening things for me. Some "ah ha" moments..like oh, that is why he does things like that. It also helped me see things from the perspective of my students' families at school. I was raised with a different set of values from most of the families so it helps me see somethings more clearly.
The issue is too....as students graduate from high school we hope they will attend college and then have a career--which will put them into the middle class. Isn't it the school's responsibilty to help prepare them for a life in the middle class? Shouldn't we start to expect the kids and families to start adopting some middle class values? But how to you do this and expect kids to start acting and thinking differently that their parents? Deep issues...