How long have you & your spouse been separated since process began?

[joy&pain]

Just curious how long people out there have been without their significant others... We're just shy of 18 months of separation... :(

[M&M]

In 2 more weeks it will be a year since my husband has been in Mexico. By the time he gets back it will be 14 months. I've been able to spend a total of 3 of those months with him, so we're at a total of 8 months seperation.

[joy&pain]

What a blessing that you were able to have 3 months together during this gut-wrenching process.

I've gone to see my husband 4 times so far, so that is about 7 weeks of that time that we were together.

[nsoto]

My husband has been gone almost 11 months on 7/9/07. It's sad. I hope we hear something soon!

I have been able to go 3 times to see my husband. This last time was the hardest, cause I drove to meet him in Juarez...Driving away looking in the mirror as he stood there was the hardest thing of my life....not to mention our 3 year old son crying for his papi too!

[joy&pain]

My husband has been gone almost 11 months on 7/9/07. It's sad. I hope we hear something soon!

I have been able to go 3 times to see my husband. This last time was the hardest, cause I drove to meet him in Juarez...Driving away looking in the mirror as he stood there was the hardest thing of my life....not to mention our 3 year old son crying for his papi too!

Nsoto: That is incredibly difficult! Wow... I wouldn't wish this immigration nightmare on my worst enemy. May God give you the strength to continue to endure and thanks for sharing.

[Dorothea]

My husband has been gone since the end of August, so... 10 months. I was lucky enough to be with him in Mexico the first 5 months, so I have been without him for 5 months so far...
I saw him for 5 days in May and this past month of "getting used to" being without him all over again has been really really tough. I wont get to see him again til December, unless I win the lotto or something:(
We have a very long road ahead of us...

[Dorothea]

Oops... Ok deep breath... trying hard not to feel sorry for myself...
:Dhappy thoughts...

[nsoto]

It's ok to feel sorry for yourself...Its a sad situation...Hang in there!

[joy&pain]

Maybe I shouldn't have started this thread afterall. :(

But thanks to all of you for sharing, I'm still trying to get a feel for everyone else's situation.

Dorothea- Can I ask why you weren't able to submit a waiver after your 1st interview?

[3inmexico]

My wife and my kids (almost 4 and almost 2) have been apart since 8/1/06. We will be at 14 months when we go to pick up the visa. It's been a terrible and dark time. We are just glad to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Dorothea]

of course you can! at his medical exam my husband admitted having smoked marijuana a few times in the past year (or i guess who knows what time frame) and he was labeled a "drug abuser" and told he needs to be drug free for three years before he can file the I-601.
We were told December 2009 is when we can try again.
On a more positive note, we wont be apart that whole time, no matter what!

And thanks nsoto:o

[joy&pain]

You have a great outlook, Dorothea!

Ok, so let me throw another one at you all... what is something you learned to really appreciate about your spouse that you DIDN'T before they were gone?

For me~ I miss how much help I got around the house... cleaning, yardwork, and he never complained. I never really realized how much he did around here until I started having to do it all! I will have a great appreciation for all he does when he returns! ;)

[danny13]

I'm one of the few lucky ones that haven't spent more than 3 months apart.

[Jancy]

17 months 1 week according to the ticker I set. We had spent one month together before I had to come back to work so he has actually been there 18 months and 1 week. I have been able to visit once in a while, the last time I saw him was in January :cry: Very very sad.

[Laura]

My husband left in August 2006. I didn't go to the first interview in CDJ, and the first time I saw him after that was in December when I visited him in Puebla (we also went to Veracruz) for ten days. His family is awesome and mostly because of my husband, they have a pretty nice standard of living these days, so it's a joy to spend time with him there.

I went again to visit in late February, early March, which I couldn't really afford (vacation or $$$-wise at the time, but I did it anyway!) but it was totally worth it. Getting through that horrible late winter in Wisconsin alone was the worst, but in spring, things started to seem a little more hopeful.

On May 11, I received an appt letter, which I was completely not expecting. It did not really make sense timeline-wise, as people from around our interview date are just getting approved now, with appts in September and October. I called the 900# and found out I was miraculously approved on May 4th.

Our pick-up is two weeks from today, so we're getting really excited. I've been doing a big home improvement project and trying to enjoy summer, my garden, etc. It's been a rough year, but the fact that we do not have kids yet and that I have a pretty good job has made it emotionally and financially less stressful. My husband has siblings who live in the U.S., and they live with my in our house, which has actually been a blessing.

So I guess by the end of this we'll have been apart a little more than 10 months. Good luck to everyone and lots of thanks for the pilot program, which is saving so many people from what we have been through.

[chilanga]

My husband left on April 1st, 2004 and he finally was able to come home on March 21st, 2007. We were 11 days shy of the 3 year mark.

He's now been home for a little over 3 months now, and the adjustment period has been a bit strange. I got really used to having to do everything myself and basically having to make all the decisions on my own. Same for my husband. To be honest, it kinda feels like when we first started living together. We're having to get used to each others' idiosyncracies again.

I think the other thing that happens when you're separated like this is that you tend to "romanticize" and think about all the endearing things you miss about your spouse, and you tend to forget or not think about the things about them that drive you crazy.

We're getting through it though. I'm so grateful to have him back... even if he does drive me nuts sometimes! :rolleyes:

[joy&pain]

My husband left on April 1st, 2004 and he finally was able to come home on March 21st, 2007. We were 11 days shy of the 3 year mark.

He's now been home for a little over 3 months now, and the adjustment period has been a bit strange. I got really used to having to do everything myself and basically having to make all the decisions on my own. Same for my husband. To be honest, it kinda feels like when we first started living together. We're having to get used to each others' idiosyncracies again.

I think the other thing that happens when you're separated like this is that you tend to "romanticize" and think about all the endearing things you miss about your spouse, and you tend to forget or not think about the things about them that drive you crazy.

We're getting through it though. I'm so grateful to have him back... even if he does drive me nuts sometimes! :rolleyes:

Very True! I know there will be an adjustment period, like you said. Reality sets in and life goes on...I am ready for him to re-take over some of this responsibility with our house though, because it's starting to take its toll on me.

[mi_corazon]

We have been apart since the end of September. We are going on nine months. I spent two weeks with him during Christmas in Hidalgo...but it has been so long I had our second child here in the US without him. I just want to be a family again.

[Chula]

We have been apart since the end of September. We are going on nine months. I spent two weeks with him during Christmas in Hidalgo...but it has been so long I had our second child here in the US without him. I just want to be a family again.

Omy, girl I am so sorry! WE will all get through this!!! Take care ok!

[Theresa]

we were seperated for 1 yr and 4 months!! one of the lonliest times of my life

[sam1010]

my husband has been out of the country for nearly five years. i have been traveling back and forth between the US and Jordan for the past five years. It has been incredibly hard on me and our kids, but it is all worth it because I love him more than anything in the world. I really hope that this year he will be approved. I am really praying hard for this. Good luck to all of you who are going through all of this process. It is hard but it is well worth it in the end when he has that green cardin his hand.

[ce&ll]

My husband was in Mexico exactly 1 year! We were not separated for very long periods of time since I was fortunate enough to be able to visit almost every 4-6 wks. The longest period of time we spent apart was the 2 months right before his Visa pick up appointment but I flew down to be with him in CDJ.

[kenaly]

We were lucky. I was able to live in Canada almost fulltime during the majority of the process, so we were only part for a week or two each time.

[Dorothea]

Joy&Pain, I really miss laying with my husband, with my head on his shoulder and his arm around me. (I was going to say something about some of our best times being in bed, but not even I could resist a joke about that!)

When I look at a picture of him or when I think about him hugging me, it gives me chills. :inlove::inlove:

I can't say I miss his help around the house. He's a terrible slob!

[karissa]

My husband has been gone a year. My children and I were very fortuante that we were able to spend the first 6 months of that time in Mexico with him. I will never forget driving away from my husband with my two children crying for their papa. Since then I went to visit him once by myself and then in April I took my children with to see him. a couple weeks ago my four year old woke up with a smile on her face, looked around and asked "where is papi at?" I said "he is still in Mexico" she replied "oh, I had a dream he was at home" those things just break my heart. :cry: I can not wait for the day when we can be a family and no longer worry about this immigration mess!!

[blueblue]

We have been separated because of the immigration process for over 5 years. The last time we were together was in Feb 2006.

We are only hanging by a thread, it is more than just the separation, the lost time and family devastation, it is also the feelings of betrayal and injustice on top of all that.

[amlopez]

My husband left for GTO, MX on Aug. 17th, 2006 and a week later I had our 2nd son alone. In Sept we went to vistit and stayed 3 weeks. My 2 yr old has started forgetting a lot about his dada and my 9 mo old doesnt even know him. We are leaving in a couple of weeks to go back for a month and then hopefully we will hear something about his waiver soon after our return.

[joy&pain]

Thanks for all of your responses and your honesty. I'm still trying to get to know people in this forum and this thread has helped me to see everyone else's circumstances as well. God bless you All and may we all be reunited with our families very soon!

Dorothea: I hear ya! I miss that too! ;)

[To1436]

wow all of you are very brave. I am so lucky that my husband is here with me. He took a year off from school to be with me, but in September, he has to leave b/c he cant miss school anymore. I dont know what I am going to do!

[bamajoey]

Hi, I like your handle joy and pain. I can relate. My wife and I have been seperated and going through this immigration process for over 3 years. She had a simple overstay of her visa and left to go to mexico to visit her mother and they would not let her back. We were very naive about the immigration process at the time.
Oh well.
Now I can see a little light at the end of this long, long tunnel. DHS receive our waiver Dec. 14 06.
Take care,
Bamajoey

[Paige]

My hubby left 8 months ago. I was able to go with him and stay for 10 days. Then our daughter and I went to see him for 3 weeks in March. This process is very hard. I am thankful that we have a way to at least try to legalize our spouses, but it is a tortuous process. For me I think it is even harder because of our daughter. I see her changing so much every day and I know her Papi is missing so much. We are going to celebrate her 2nd birthday with Papi next week. We will be staying for a week. On a lighter note, I have been realizing something I miss about my husband is how he enjoyed cleaning the car. We had made a kind of joking agreement when we first got married, that he would clean the cars and I would do the dishes. (I might add that he still did dishes sometimes.:)) I don't think I ever washed or vacuumed the car though. He really did a good job on it too. I let it go too long before I do anything about it.

[joy&pain]

Hi, I like your handle joy and pain. I can relate.

Thanks, bamajoey.... remember that old song? joy and pain, sunshine and rain? Figured it was fitting... Sorry to hear that you and your wife have been separated for 3 years. That's devastatingly long. We're at half that time, but trucking along.

You Take Care also!

[mi_corazon]

Omy, girl I am so sorry! WE will all get through this!!! Take care ok!


Thanks Chula! We are making it through it...all of us together! I know that it is tough, but it will all be better in the end!:)

[control]

My husband and I have been apart for 3 1/2 years. He has been denied 3 times and we filed our motion to reconsider in February. It is extrmely hard to fathom someone would deny a person to be reunited with his family. He does not have a criminal history the only reason we have been denied is because our extreme hardship was not enough. You have to be dying of a grave illness or be somewhat incapacitated in order for DHS in Vienna, Austria to approve. Just loving eachother and having a happy life together is not enough. Married 8 Years apart for almost four. Its just unheard of...

[needhelpfast]

You guys are making me cry
:cry:

You are all so brave, I'm scared that me and my huoney will be seperated, together now. I'm so proud of you all, I cannot even express it!

[slubberry]

4 1/2 years total time apart from my wife and son. I was fortunate enough to visit them every other weekend though.

Looking back on the whole experience didn't seem to bad in hindsight but I remember it to be intolerable.


. . . . But then again, married life isn't all that it's cracked up to be:thumbup:

[aguilar1115]

edit

[ratito921]

1 year and 8 months. That's 1 birthday for me, 1 birthday for him, 2 Christmas', 2 Easters, 2 Valentines, 2 4th of July's, 1 anniversary and the list keeps going, but we have the rest of our lives to make up for it all. I'm just glad we can do it together. :)

[luvmyjth44]

we've been apart since July 30 2006 it will probably be another 3 mos. before he can come home to USA
We have not seen each other since he left but will make up for it when he comes home:bye: