Torn =(

[MiReyna]

Today i found out that most likely my husband is going to have a 10 year ban w/o the possibility of submitting the I-601 waiver. :sad: This has totally torn me apart thinking about the posibility of losing him for such a long time.

My husband, Enrique, came here in Jan. of 1999 at the age of 15. We met in Aug. of that same year. I was just a little kid, 13,(yes, i was just a baby, i know) when i first met him. We saw eachother everyday. I spoke not one word of spanish, nor he spoke any english, so to communicate we drew pictures to eachother (which i still have) and i would write the word in english & he would in spanish.:) So we essencially grew up together. I moved in with him at age 16, and we decided to get married in March 2005. He returned back to Mexico in Nov. 2005 due to his grandmothers illness. They were very close and she was not doing so well and since he had not seen her in 6 years, he wanted to be able to say goodbye to her before she passed. He returned to the US in Jan. 2006 and was caught trying to cross the border. This, i have been told, is why he will recieve the 10 year ban. After misscarrying 4 babies from 3 pregnancies (my first pregnancy was twins) over 3 years, our miracle baby, Reyna Isabelle, was born in Feb. 2007.

We are currently waiting for his CDJ appointment and now have a big decision to make. Do we keep waiting for the appt. and take it as it comes? Or do we give up and pray for an immigration reform?

I have never been one to give up on anything, but I am feeling so crushed right now that it seems i am willing to do anything to stay by my husbands side. We talked about this for quite awhile today. Enrique told me he is dying to return to Mexico, to see his family, to see his 5 year old little sister whom he has seen only once in his life. He had thought about going back this December and waiting out the CDJ appointment there... But since we dont know how long it is going to be, or if we are even going to go now, we are iffy on it. He told me if we go to the appt., and they give him the 10 yr. ban, he will return to the US anyway and live the way he has for the last 8 years because he could never be away from me or our daughter that long.

Living in Mexico is not an option for us. Where Enrique is from, a small rancho in Guanajuato, there is limited health care (30 minutes away, might i add) crappy education, no jobs, etc., I refused to raise my daughter in a place where she doesnt have the resources or oppertunity to get an education and be the best she can be; or live in a place where if someting happens to one of us there is no healthcare available. Although i speak, read, and write spanish fluently, there is no work for me there. i am a CNA and i love what i do here in the US.

I need advice :confused1: i am so confused on what to do. Is it even worth going to the CDJ appt.? Should we just admit defeat and move on, & continue living like we have the last couple years? Is there ANYTHING i can do??

It tears me up inside thinking that my daughter might have to grow up without her father, or living in fear he might get snatched up one day by La Migra, or even getting harrassed in school because her daddy is illegal. I am sinking further and further into depression, and am constantly sick from all the stress and worry.

I am so torn up inside.

I just want to have my family & be happy.

Is that so much to ask for??

:cry:

[lgatica06]

The minute he turned 18 he started to acrue illegal presence which means that in 2005 when he left he had already accrued 3 years illegal presence and his 10 year ban was triggered the minute he crossed back over to Mexico. Since he has since EWI'd again he is ineligible for the waiver until 10 years outside of the U.S. have past. I am so sorry for you situation but there are many others in the same boat. You ahve to decide what is best for your family. Have you considered Canada, or another country? Maybe border living in CDJ so you can still work in the U.S. and you daughter can go to school here. You have many options and will get through this ordeal.
Immigration has taken over so much of your life already, do not let it take your happiness. You can have you family together but the way the law stands know you just have to find a way to make it work for you. God bless you and you will be in my prayers.

[Paul & Kerri]

Hi there, my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm confused as to why he would have the 10 year ban w/o being able to submit an I-601. My understanding is there is a lifetime bar for those that claim they are a US citizen. When your husband 1st moved here, was it illegaly and was he caught? What happened the 2nd time he crossed the border? Obviously he managed to stay here. I don't know many details on your case, but it appears to me that there is hope and that he would be able to file the I-601 waiver. I would not courage him to go back home and then try to re-enter the States yet another time, that would be very foolish and probably prevent him from ever having legal status in the States.

If in fact he would have the 10 year ban without the option to submit the waiver, have you thought about moving close to the Mexican border and crossing over time to time to see him (he could move closer to the border as well and still be able to see you and his family)? What about you both taking the appropriate steps to move to Canada? If you had to move to Mexico to be with him, you could always home school your daughter (luckily for you she is young and after the ban was lifted, you could re-address the issue). I know you wouldn't want to live there and I understand that......medical care is a big issue.

But honestly, from what I gather, he would be able to file for I-601 and I-212. Other people that are more familiar should show up and give you some more or better advice than I. I'm really hoping the best for you and your family. Keep your chin up and stay strong!

[lgatica06]

Hi there, my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm confused as to why he would have the 10 year ban w/o being able to submit an I-601. My understanding is there is a lifetime bar for those that claim they are a US citizen. When your husband 1st moved here, was it illegaly and was he caught? What happened the 2nd time he crossed the border? Obviously he managed to stay here. I don't know many details on your case, but it appears to me that there is hope and that he would be able to file the I-601 waiver. I would not courage him to go back home and then try to re-enter the States yet another time, that would be very foolish and probably prevent him from ever having legal status in the States.

If in fact he would have the 10 year ban without the option to submit the waiver, have you thought about moving close to the Mexican border and crossing over time to time to see him (he could move closer to the border as well and still be able to see you and his family)? What about you both taking the appropriate steps to move to Canada? If you had to move to Mexico to be with him, you could always home school your daughter (luckily for you she is young and after the ban was lifted, you could re-address the issue). I know you wouldn't want to live there and I understand that......medical care is a big issue.

But honestly, from what I gather, he would be able to file for I-601 and I-212. Other people that are more familiar should show up and give you some more or better advice than I. I'm really hoping the best for you and your family. Keep your chin up and stay strong!

Ne he is not eligible for the I-601 or the I-212. I-212 is the waiver for admittance after deportation or removal and does not apply in this case. Since he accrued 3 years (after age 18 and after 4/1/1997) left and then re-entered he does not qualify for the I-601 either. He will have to wait 10 years outside of the U.S. before he will be eligible.

[Laura]

Mi Reyna,

I'm sorry again for your situation. I agree with Lgatica - consider your other options carefully. Does he have a U.S. education - maybe Canada could be an option if he could get some sort of technical degree or something...

It's more difficult because your husband really wants to return to Mexico. If he wasn't wanting to go back to visit, I would say you should absolutely not go to the CDJ interview (you can cancel/delay) and just hope for reform in the next few years. I hope that you live somewhere that is relatively safe to undocumented people.

If he were to depart and EWI again, I would be concerned that you might not benefit from any future reforms. Considering how strict the law is right now with multiple EWIs, I am concerned for those who expect that a future reform bill will not also restrict those who have multiple EWIs. Now, this is just pure speculation on my part, but it's something to consider. If he leaves and comes back and is caught again, they will now have multiple records of him coming and going.

Finally - You guys are really young, think about your future. What happens if in 10 years nothing has changed and you still can't live legally together in the U.S.? I know it has to be impossible to imagine living in Mexico or on either border, but you should really consider it. If you can live in a border area for 10 years, you will be past this and be able to move on in your 30s...

[Paul & Kerri]

Well said laurafern11. Sorry about my advice as I didn't fully understand your situation.

[Dorothea]

I agree that you should really consider living in Mexico, on the border or in another country.
If you lived on the border, as some mebers do, you will be able to bring your daughter into the US for school or medical care. You would also be able to work in the US while your husband worked in Mexico.
You shouldn't even allow your husband to think about re-entering illegally! If he did that, like Laura said, it would probably ruin any chance he had at future reform helping the situation. Once he leaves the US he needs to stay out of the US for the entire 10 years!!
If you all don;'t think you can do it and make it work then he should NOT go to Mexico at all.
I know it's sad for him to think about that, but those are the only 2 real options you have, or you will spend your entire lives fearing immigration...

[MiReyna]

Thank all if you sooo much for your advice. Does anyone know what steps we would have to take to be able to move to Canada? I hate thinking about leaving my family here in Idaho but if that is an option than i will be willing to take it into consederation. I really really REALLY apperciate all of you who have responded. Thanks.

[tasksgirl]

I agree with living in a border city or also Canada.. but I have *no* idea how to immigrate there.. I know they have a test on their website and you have to have a certain amount of points and I think you can bring family with you.. they give you points for things like your education, job skills & history, and knowledge of English & French Language..

If that doesn't work out, the border city thing is a good option too. You guys can live in CDJ and in El Paso.. you can get 2 apartments one in Mexico and one in the U.S. (so your daughter can go to school there) and you can work in El Paso and your daughter can go to school there.

I wouldn't wait for reform though - I would take the 10 year ban and just live with the knowledge that eventually he can come back.

Your daughter is beautiful BTW I am glad to hear that it finally worked out for you guys.. my husband and I also met at that same age! I was 13 and he was 15 and I also moved in with him at 17! lol funny..

[aprilstorm]

I am so sorry!!!! I would like start looking at other options as the others have suggested. Hang in there!!!

[fash]

If I were you, I would wait until at least 2009 to see if the Dream Act passes.

[MiReyna]

whats the dream act???

[tasksgirl]

The Dream Act is for those who entered illegally as minors.. I have been working on it for a long time and I have to say the chances are not good. I was waiting for it too but I couldn't wait anymore. If it ever passes it will be only a renewable student visa..

[Laura]

Besides that Fash, Mi Reyna's husband has already exited the U.S., meaning even if he had graduated from a U.S. high school and was pursuing higher education, he wouldn't qualify now because he's left the country. It's a load of crap I know, but true. And like Tasks said, the Dream Act has not come close enough to reality to make it something to count on, tragically.

[MiReyna]

hummm.... thanks guys for that info.! & although he came here so young my husband never went to school here in the US so it wouldnt have affected him anyway:(

We'll just have to keep our fingers crossed....

[sunnym1973]

Dear MI Reyna,
You can look into moving to Canada. The Canadian Immigration website is www.cic.gc.ca. I was in the USA and was able to immigrate to Canada. You would be able to immigrat with your whole family. Please feel free to PM me if u need any info

[MiReyna]

thanks sunny! i will deff. look into that!

[Klame1983]

MiReyna,

Your story really makes me angry! I can't believe that stupid laws break up families! I am really saddened by your story. I know there is nothing I can really tell you that will make things better, but just try to focus on the positive things in your life such as your daughter. Although 10 yrs seems like a life time, it's not that much in the long run once you think about how many years you will live. Let me share a quick story with you...

My mom, my sister and I lived in MX for 5 years while my father lived and worked in the US. We couldn't come because we didn't have papers. We would only see my dad once a year. My mom went through two pregnancies by herself and gave birth without my father present. Although five years seemed like forever, that was twenty years ago. My point...although my mother, sister and I suffered a lot being without my father for five years, we got through it and so can you. Even if your living arrangements don't turn out as you'd wish, no matter what you can get through it and one day live your life the way you always dreamt about.

Good luck & God Bless!

[fash]

Well, the exit will only work against him if he's been out of the country for at least one period of 3 months, or a total of 6 months. It's just a suggestion, though. It's up to you, MiReyna, because while I wouldn't say the chances of it passing are 100%, they're a lot better than any other type of CIR, and if you wait around a couple of years to see how it goes down, you could end up just waiting two years instead of ten. I'm in the same situation--my husband has a permanent ban and would qualify for Dream if it eventually passes--and we haven't decided quite what to do yet either, but it's definitely something to take into consideration.