About ready to have a breakdown

[MBLA]

Ok, I know that 99.9 percent of everyone on this board has far greater problems than I have. However, yesterday and today I have felt like everything is starting to crash all around me. I feel like I about to have a breakdown. I guess you guys are cheaper than a psychologist, so bear with me.

I'm stressed, because I'm trying to save money for when hubby has his interview and its been really difficult. At the begining of the year, I was on track to have most of my debt paid off. The only things I would have had was mortgage and student loans. Then my water heater went out, my car broke down, my furance went out, husband got into a car accident and totaled out his car. Oh, and both hubby and I need a lot of dental work. So within 3 months I went from almost debt free to having about 20k in new debt.

But now I feel its all happening again. Our house needs a new roof, new siding, new deck, new flooring in th kitchen and bathroom. Siding, deck and flooring we can live without, but the roof needs attention.

So what do I do? I can't take out any new loans, becuase I wont' be able to pay them. In 2 months, I really haven't been able to save much money for the interview. I will be teaching part time and in December I will get money for that, but all that is to go the intervew.

I work at a college, so I can take classes for free. I enrolled part time to put my sudent loan into forbearence because I can't afford the interest or the payments. But I am soo behind with my homework but that is the least of my stress.

I'm stressed about this whole immigration process. I'm trying to make plans, but how do you plan when you don't know when its going to happen, or what's going to happen. I'm stressed about this waiver letter that I'm trying to write. That my hardships, are not extreme, but normal harships that everyone suffers.

My husband's stressed also and deals with it by shutting down or getting mad at me. We fight a lot. I know it could be worse becaue he could be stuck in Mexico and not able to see each other.

I'm trying to keep postive and only plan for the good outcome with his appointent, but at the same time, I don't want to be caught off guard. And be running around at the last moment trying to decide to move to Mexico, or stay here in the US.

I feel that I'm obsessed with this process. I want to be looking stuff up on the iternet at all times or on this website. I'm scard if I'm not on here, I will miss some really important information. I never want to work anymore when I am at work. I can't concentrate because all I think about is all this stuff that is happening. I am a manager of my office and I'm not one to not do my work.

I just want to run away from all of this.

Yesterday, I called in sick becuse I couldn't get out of bed. I needed to do homework and clean out my spare bedroom. So I did that. I got 1/2 of my homework assignments done.



All of this stuff together I can handle. I've handled it in the past. I just know its only get more difficult and stressfull and that is what I can't handle.

Anway, sorry I just need to vent. The more I think about it, maybe I do need to see a psychologies before this gets out of hand.

[bamajoey]

I'm sure more than a few of us have had to get professional help even anti-depressants. The anti-depressants do help by the way. It did with me. It sounds like you are getting close to seeing about that.

Keep venting that helps too. Maybe a community mental health center would not cost too much.

Take care and stay in touch.
Joey in Atlanta:innocent:

[Laura]

I'm sorry Amber for all your stress. Try to keep the end in sight. And don't let this process consume you if you have all this other stuff on your mind. Of course you need to be working on your hardship letter, but new information that is crucial to your situation is not coming out every day.

Hang in there.

[aprilstorm]

Sorry that things have been going bad for you. When it rains it mores!!!! I know that feeling so well. I thought things were looking up for us and then wham..a new set of problems...so now we are struggling again.
Everybody has these days girl. Hang in there and BIG :hug:

[Paige]

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time Amber. I think maybe it would be a good idea to see a counselor. You could at least get documented how this process is affecting you. I hope you feel better. Try not to think about everything at once. Just do the next thing.

[DeBenny]

I feel that I'm obsessed with this process. I want to be looking stuff up on the iternet at all times or on this website. I'm scard if I'm not on here, I will miss some really important information. I never want to work anymore when I am at work. I can't concentrate because all I think about is all this stuff that is happening.

Ditto... I could relate so much to this... What keeps me from continuing to stay with my chin up is to now that this is my fight against the tide for love! The sacrifice is worth it... God never gives us more than we can handle. We are strong immigration warriors just fighting. Its hard to find people that could relate to our stories but vent here. We would read you out.:wink: I know that it is difficult to find strength in this process but it is there...I send you the biggest hug and hang in there...

[KellyKS]

Sorry to hear that everything bad is happening at once. Sometimes it seems like its one thing after another and that it will never end. But just remember to take a deep breath and take one day at a time. That is one of the only things that helps me with my stress level. Believe me I have mega stress right now, but coming on here and posting and seeing that people do care and that many of us are in the same boat or have been is really helpful To see that others have survived. Just try to think positive and vent as much as you need too.


Kelly:)

[mandujanov]

We are here to hear ya! just take one thing at a time. It helps me a lot that one of my closest friend, when I was in the hardest part of my depression, (couldnt sleep, eat, and was totally unmotivated) she helped me by making lists for me and prioritizing what was most important to take care, I know its really hard when we go thru this to focus on other important things that need to be taken care of. So she helped me so much by doing this. Good luck and we will be here to hear ya! or better said read ya!

[Melmcd76]

I have felt the same way so many times it is not even funny. I completely relate to you and all you are dealing with. I have over 600K in mortgage debt, 20K in credit card debt, a car loan, and 2 kids that have no trouble eating! We are [I]struggling[I] to keep things going but it is so daunting. We didn't even know about the hardship until last week and my husband has his first appt. on Oct. 12th. I hear you girl. That is all I can say. Take care, have faith, and know that there is always someone watching out for you. :innocent::)

[TracyTN]

I hope you find comfort in some of the people here who can relate. Hang in there.

[ashleypinzon]

This is hard to do but lean on others for a while. Are you a member of church? seek help there . Look and see if there is a salvation army or food pantry or church that helps pay emergency bills. It is hard to let other's help you sometimes but always remember once your on your feet you could always repay the favor.

[MBLA]

Thanks guys, I'm doing a lot better today. Maybe it was just the weather yesterday or the time of year. I still am going to schedue to see a counselor.

I have a question for you guys though. Does all of your SO's Friends contantly ask your SO for favors because he/she is married to a us citizen? I am bilingual and good on the computer. It seems like anytime his friends have a problem or want to buy something they ask my hubby if I can do it for him. Anway, since yesterday I was in my funk, one of my husband's friend was coming over for a favor, Igot into a little arguement with my husband. I told him I can't keep doing all these favors for his friends. Not that I don't want to, but I have too much to handle right now. Of course my husband over reacts like always and starts saying fine, I will never help anybody ever again. Just wait until we need help with something, no one will be there for us. And forget about having friend. I was like come on, why do you always take my comments and twist them to the extreme. I'm not saying that we can't have friends. Just right now if someone asks you for a favor, just tell them that I'm under a lot of stress right now with all that is going on. Plus, we are the not type that ask friends for favors. We take care of our problems on our own. If we need help and can't resolve it, the first people we ask help from are my parents.

Anway, I think I figured out why I am stressing sooo much. I am a controlling person. And since the immigration process is out of my hands and I can't controll what is going to happen, I'm stressing out about it. And I beleive that being obsessed with researching stuff on the internet, is the only way I can feel like I am in control.

[cindy101]

I'm glad to hear that today was a little better.

Some days it is just hard to take the whole immigration process. I can completely relate to your comments about not being able to control any aspect of this process. It seems completely arbitrary from month to month on what kind of cases get approved, and what processing times are.

Hang in there and stay strong! One day at a time..

[DeBenny]

Thanks guys, I'm doing a lot better today. Maybe it was just the weather yesterday or the time of year. I still am going to schedue to see a counselor.

I have a question for you guys though. Does all of your SO's Friends contantly ask your SO for favors because he/she is married to a us citizen? I am bilingual and good on the computer. It seems like anytime his friends have a problem or want to buy something they ask my hubby if I can do it for him. Anway, since yesterday I was in my funk, one of my husband's friend was coming over for a favor, Igot into a little arguement with my husband. I told him I can't keep doing all these favors for his friends. Not that I don't want to, but I have too much to handle right now. Of course my husband over reacts like always and starts saying fine, I will never help anybody ever again. Just wait until we need help with something, no one will be there for us. And forget about having friend. I was like come on, why do you always take my comments and twist them to the extreme. I'm not saying that we can't have friends. Just right now if someone asks you for a favor, just tell them that I'm under a lot of stress right now with all that is going on. Plus, we are the not type that ask friends for favors. We take care of our problems on our own. If we need help and can't resolve it, the first people we ask help from are my parents.

Anway, I think I figured out why I am stressing sooo much. I am a controlling person. And since the immigration process is out of my hands and I can't controll what is going to happen, I'm stressing out about it. And I beleive that being obsessed with researching stuff on the internet, is the only way I can feel like I am in control.


Amber... I think that you might be my clone....OR we are living mirrored lives...LMAO:bounce:....

You do not know how much I could relate with you comments about the favors...and he, faithfully, reacts the same way your hubby does (exactly). I even think that he says the exact same thing that your hubby does...Wait, didn't you post that your hubby is from Veracruz? They might be related:wink:

[KellyKS]

Thanks guys, I'm doing a lot better today. Maybe it was just the weather yesterday or the time of year. I still am going to schedue to see a counselor.

I have a question for you guys though. Does all of your SO's Friends contantly ask your SO for favors because he/she is married to a us citizen? I am bilingual and good on the computer. It seems like anytime his friends have a problem or want to buy something they ask my hubby if I can do it for him. Anway, since yesterday I was in my funk, one of my husband's friend was coming over for a favor, Igot into a little arguement with my husband. I told him I can't keep doing all these favors for his friends. Not that I don't want to, but I have too much to handle right now. Of course my husband over reacts like always and starts saying fine, I will never help anybody ever again. Just wait until we need help with something, no one will be there for us. And forget about having friend. I was like come on, why do you always take my comments and twist them to the extreme. I'm not saying that we can't have friends. Just right now if someone asks you for a favor, just tell them that I'm under a lot of stress right now with all that is going on. Plus, we are the not type that ask friends for favors. We take care of our problems on our own. If we need help and can't resolve it, the first people we ask help from are my parents.

Anway, I think I figured out why I am stressing sooo much. I am a controlling person. And since the immigration process is out of my hands and I can't controll what is going to happen, I'm stressing out about it. And I beleive that being obsessed with researching stuff on the internet, is the only way I can feel like I am in control.

Amber... I think that you might be my clone....OR we are living mirrored lives...LMAO:bounce:....

You do not know how much I could relate with you comments about the favors...and he, faithfully, reacts the same way your hubby does (exactly). I even think that he says the exact same thing that your hubby does...Wait, didn't you post that your hubby is from Veracruz? They might be related:wink:

I am with you two. I have had so many people ask for favors. Especially when I was on leave after having baby. Its like nobody thinks I have anything to do. Though by now I am use to saying no when I don't really have the time. My husband knows better then to tell people to come over for me to help without asking me first. I always have to look in my planner before scheduling something. :wink: One time he had a friend that wanted to use our mini-van to drive somewhere far to pick up their mom. I think they thought my husband would say sure, because then my husband could drive it. But my husband told them that the van is what I drive all the time and he would have to ask me first. I don't have a problem most of the time helping people though it does take a lot of your free time. Though I limit on what I will help with. Like one time someone wanted me to drive them somewhere and I said I do lots of volunteer work in helping people using my language skills that I really can't volunteer to do other things that anyone can do. Believe me that guy wasn't too happy. OH WELL! People can't expect a person will do whatever they ask.


Kelly:)

[MBLA]

Oh and money too. How come everyone thinks we have money. I don't know how many times pleople have asked us to loan them money. Ugg. Even his family in Mexico. Well, is mother and sister. I feel bad for not being able to help them, but I we just can't do it.