MY vent

[ojos_de_alicia]

:curse:So im just so frustrated with life right now.. i think September is my bad month.
I went to the dr. i have really High blood pressure again and im on meds.. my thyroid levels are borderline so i have to go back, i was put on zanax and it just made me sad and sick :dunno:


I stopped posting stuff on here just because i tried seperating myself from immigration.. and forgetting about how much it irritates me.. i post every so often. but usually dont start threads anymore.... ladi daaa

Not to mention my 4yr old daughter started kindergarten this year and the teacher has been calling me about every week since the first day of school to tell me all the bad things shes done. yesterday she pushed another student but denied it.. when my mom went to pick her up for her dentist appt the teacher told my mom (in front of all the other students during circle time) that my daughter was a liar and thats all she does is lie, that I need to disapline her and take the TV away from her.:angry: soo what the heck!??! i went to see the principal today and was very upset so.. she talked to the teacher.. the teacher is going to call me but.. i made it clear that i have felt that she doesnt want isabella in her class from the very beginning of the year.... the thing is that they KNOW isabella was in speech therapy since she was 2yrs old and was recieving special education services because of her attention span during preschool..... they DIS continued those services at the end of last year because she was improving but.. she still doesnt pay attn and has a hard time with. making friends and her social skills and communication sooooooooooo..... HELLO if u dont have patience with her then just say something!... the school is going to start giving her a literacy and language teacher 2x's a week in about a week..

so i've done everything i took her to the DR and.. shes going to get meds in mid october (after she does bloodwork and a heart exam) for ADHD.... sooooo now thats she's been dianosed witht hat.. i hope things get better but.. the teacher really annoys me.. and i shouldnt feel like that and i shouldnt feel like she doesnt like my daughter just because shes Hyper and doesnt concentrate. GUHGGGGGGGGGGGGGgg

sooooooo... yea and to make matters worse my husband and i will prob get denied because of his crim past... which i'de rather know sooner than later.. but we all know that denials take a million years soo.. whatever...theres only soo much i can do.. i know im a strong person but.. there's only so much experience i have since im only 23 years old... i support myself, my kids and my mother for almost 2 years... :sad:

[Adriane]

I'm so sorry, Alicia. Some teachers are great and some and jerks- I'm so sorry you got the later. Keep sticking up for your daughter- she's lucky to have a strong mom like you.

But don't give up hope yet on your husband's case- he may have made mistakes but he's a lovely person (as I know first hand) and your HSL packet is very strong. You might want to update it with the current issues with your daughter as I know she'd really benefit from having a 2-parent home to help her adjust.

Remember, Einstein was considered to be retarded all through elementary school- and on a more personal level, my sister, currently finishing her PhD. in reproductive genetics at age 26, was believed to be "learning disabled" when she was in kinder & first grade. Starting school is hard for everybody, but I bet your daughter will adjust and go on to great things.

Love from me & Mr. Adriane!

[ojos_de_alicia]

:hug: thanks so much!! i can't wait for u guys to get that letter too... say hi to mr adriane from us too

[Marie]

a lot of kids go through speech therapy, i don't see the big deal and why that would be considered being "retarded" or slow.

But it does sound like the teacher doesn't want her in the class. Can you ask the principle to move her to another class? It's early on in the year, I'm sure she'll be fine.

For social skills, it will come..that's why she is in kindergarten. Is she in kindergarten or preK? Here you have to be 5 to be in kindergarten. In any case, that's what school is for. Is socializing her is a concern, I would get her involved in the girl scouts and be involved in that. It's definitely going to take a lot of work to get her to react properly to other people and I know it's not going to be an easy road.

*HUG*

[gdalicia]

Ojos I think we have ALL felt exactly how you are feeling right now during this process. So many times over the last 9 months I felt badly that I had disrupted my daughter's life by moving us in with my Mom and being depressed and broke all the time. The fact is your daughters will be fine...they have an intelligent, hardworking, dedicated mother. Many children overcome all types of learning disabilities. I'm sure your daughter is probably highly intelligent and bored with school! That's very common among kids who are easily distracted. As for the teacher...she sounds extremely unprofessional. I can't imagine a teacher calling a child a "liar". I mean, all children lie! It's the teacher's job to communicate with you and help find a way to address whatever behavioral issues are taking place. It's also very normal for kids to act out when they are dealing with being separated from a family member.

Hang in there...there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have always admired your strength!! Sometimes it's good just to let it all out. Hugs! :hug:

[joy&pain]

Ojos, you have every right to vent. I feel your pain, my hubby has been gone for almost 21 months also. It sucks!
Hopefully you can get your daughter in a different class with a more understanding teacher. {{{Big Hugs}}}

[ojos_de_alicia]

she is 4 but going to be 5 in oct so she was put into this years kinder class... shes been in preschool since she was 2-3 yrs old... she was classified as a preschool student with special education because of her lack of attending and language skills... her speech has gotten alot better.. now u can actually have a convo with her unlike when she was 2 and not even saying a word... the worst part is that she is like this at home too.. all the time she cannot focus, pay attention and is everywhere at the same time..she has a real hard time knowing how to act and gets into alot of trouble at home and.. i guess at school.. its hard to punish her because she throws tantrums and screams and cries at the top of her lungs... i live in an apt with neighbors everywhere.. and its annoying!!!... in my last apartment the police were called cause they thought something was wrong... guhhhhh ur right.. its going to take alot of work.. and alottt more energy!!!.. thanks guys!!!more hugs!

[Marie]

well she'll have to learn. Don't worry about her tantrums and just punish her. Our daughter used to do that and the thought was "if i scream loud enough, I'll get my way".
But now that she is older, you can take away birthday parties, field trips, fav tv show etc...that might work. That works great with my daughter.

Just remember you are the mom, you will win! lol that was my mantra for a while.

[lgatica06]

I sure hope things get better and don't give up hope on that waiver. You never know what will happen.
Big hugs to you hon

[Pooh79]

Ayyyyyyyy amiga I know how hard it's been for you. That was totally uncalled for by her teacher. I didn't like her from the first convo you had with here remember ughhhh. Jai used to do the crying hysterically tantrum and I learned to just let her scream and cry all she wanted. If cops were called then oh well I didn't do anything wrong and maybe that would teach her a lesson. hehehe

xoxoxoxo you will pull through it all I know you will but for right now vent and rant all you want you are entitled.

[Cynthia]

awww ojos... i got my own *bad* news yesterday... Son is 4 and in Pre-K (5 days a week, mind you, over here..lol) He's still in Speech Class for 2 hours a day, 4 days a week during his Pre-K school days. He started his Speech Class last year.

Anyhoos, yesterday, teacher told me that Tyler has been pushing at the playground and cafeteria... I went like *what?*... This is a kid who gets stamped on his hand for good behaviour during his whole year speech class and no complaints from his teacher. Not even once... So, it made me sad yesterday. Tyler gets his lecture (ha ha, I'm a strict mama...lol) from the moment he stepped out of school yesterday, during dinner, during supper, during brushing teeth, the next morning (brushing teeth), when we arrived at the drop off school for his school bus AND, finally, prior to getting on the school bus (these kids line up to get on the bus)...

It wasn't a lecture b!@#$%-ing...lol...more like a repetitive thingy:

No pushing, no pushing. No push in school, No push in the playground, No push waiting for the school bus. It was more like school bus->no push, school->no push, playground->no push. Push->not nice.

What Marie said about the taking things away,..lmao, so true. That works now for these tots of mine and of course, my favourite: time-outs facing the wall. If they cry bloody murder, and the taking things not working, off to the wall they go and they just hate the time-out. At the moment, it works great until count of 2 but sometimes, they push it to 3 and get the wall neways..lmao.... Kids!

I swear, there's more kids in a Pre-K class than a speech class and this son of mine picks up *stuffs*. He even *learned* to bring the poutings home...WTH?,,,...lol.... That crap better stay in school coz at home, mama rules!...:wink:... There's no such thing as pouting or acting up. When mama says this & that, mama means that THIS & THAT, kwim?

Anyways, that's sounding more of me venting out...lol... YOU CAN DO THIS!! We all know you're a strong person..... ~hugs~

[Sabrina022203]

I will pray that things will get better! Keep your chin up!

[lexidoodle]

If you put her in time out and she cries or has a fit, you need to ignore it, follow thru with the punishments. Also make sure she is on a schedule, go to bed same time, supper at the same time, playtime, etc. That really makes a difference. Get yourself some ear plugs.

Is it possible to have her go to a private or special school for now?

[bohorquez]

My son 5 (6 in October) also had speech therapy since he was 2. I find that his attention span is not the greatest and had a problems in the past with his teacher (except last year his teacher was great!). I really don't know how to get him to pay attention more and while his speech has improved there's still a lot he needs to learn.

I really feel for you because I know how hard it is. You're doing all you can do and you're doing a good job. Keep strong!

[KellyKS]

That is not very professional at all for a teacher to call a child a liar. That would make me what to take my daughter out of that teacher's class.

Last year my daughter was in Kindergarden and wouldn't get her work done well at all. The teacher said she would talk to all her friends and not do her work. The teacher sent a notebook home of how the school day went and I would send the notebook back to school with notes of importance of what was going on with my daughter. I think it was helpful that my daughter knew that we were communicating. She always wanted to know what was written in the notebook.

This year she is doing better, though once in a while I still get a note that she wasn't working. She was lucky and has the same teacher for Kind & 1st grade. So it makes it easier for my daughter this year.

My daughter also has big old tantrums. She will scream and roll on the floor. Though now that I am more consistant in my discipline she doesn't do it as much. I put her in time out and she screams and rolls on the floor until she sees that is just making her have to sit there even longer.

A few years back after my son died I just didn't have much energy and would let her get by with everything. So I think she still test the waters sometimes thinking she will get what she wants.

Hopefully things get better for you. Kelly:)

[Ms.Valencia]

Hey Alicia.. As you know, because of my schedule at work, I am unable to volunteer or go to important meetings at Axel’s school. (My sister is the one taking care of that)

Anyways, My sister called me yesterday to let me know Axel got time out for TALKING to much in school.. ! He had to stand with his hands in his head for a while. Axel, I feel, is having a very difficult time with the whole Ricardo not being here thing.. He keeps asking for me to give him (Ricardo) the papers (little does he know it’s his wonderful government holding him up)

I wish you tons of luck and maybe we can talk about this in person soon.. Maybe you can come over.? . lol..
October!!!!!

Anyone else care to join?

[Dorothea]

Ojos, I want to just say how much I miss you posting all the time, tho I can completely understand... It's hard enough that immigration has totally disrupted your life...
I hope your daughter's teacher sees the error of her ways and starts acting like an educator there to support your daughter, NOT a lazy jerk who doesn't feel like "dealing" with her. My nephew is also labeled a "problem kid". It's not easy, but ti is great that you're doing everything in your power to get her the best educational experience possible.
I don't think your waiver will be denied. You have a strong case, like Adriane said, and your husband is doing penance.
Make sure to document your daughter's school issues and also your new medical stuff and send it in to be added to your HSL!

You are so strong! You will make it, and all in one piece too!

[aprilstorm]

:hug: BIG ONES!!!!! I'm sorry that you have been having a hard time. If I had your address I'd send you a big bag of hot cheeto's :wink:

My grandson has ADHD and that is the way he acts. He actually failed kindergaten 2 years because he couldn't pay attention and acted up all the time. My daughter had to go after him every day!!!! The school told her that he needed meds and if she didn't get him on it they would have to put him out of school ( yes he was that bad!!!!) she was denial for that whole year but the next year she did put him on meds and he passed!!! We still have trouble with him but not as bad as it was.

Don't loose faith about your approval girl!!!! You never know what mountain God will move!!!!! You are a very strong person and I admire you for it.

Hang in there hon!!! I'm here for you anytime..just give me a shout!!!!

[cindy101]

Hi Alicia...

My heart really goes out to you... My son is ADHD & Bipolar. It is very very very hard some days (heck, lots of days). Your rant is justified.

I could write a book about advocating for special needs children. It sounds like you need to request a multi-factored evaluation (MFE) and request an IEP in writing as soon as possible.

They have to start the evaluation or state in writing why they feel it unecessary within a short perior of time of your formal written request.

With a letter of diagnosis from your child's pediatrician... they will not have much wiggle room.

Email/pm me off-line if you need some help w/ this. I have had to be a major negotiator to get my son the help he has needed, but I'm an expert now at dealing with difficult schools and getting kids the help they need!!!

[ojos_de_alicia]

thanks guys! yea shes very out of control... and so many ppl have said it might be because she wants more attn.. but.. i just cant deal with it.. so many say stay off meds if u can.. but how can i?? i feel like im drugging my child so she acts "correct" but.. its super hard.. as most of u already know!... its very hard for me to figure out if what i tell her has gotten across to her.. like its almost as if.. i say something and she totally..e ither doestn listen or.. really cant comprehend how she should act... i've begun to believe that she really cannot help her behavior evne though she may try to... and for that i feel bad for yelling at her and trying to punish her for the past years...

i really am trying my best. and hopefully it all works out in the end.. and.. OMG sandi i really want some hot cheetos lolll

[ce&ll]

Ojos,

Hang in there girl! This whole process is a pain and impacts our lives so much. You know what they say "when its darkest out it's right before the sun is going to start to shine" (or something close to that), you are a very strong women and your right the teacher has no right to call out your daughter like that in front of her whole class! No child is perfect and some just need a little more attention or discipline than others but you know whats right for your little girl and you will make the right decision to help her. I'm sure she'll grow out of the temper tantrums and crying it just takes time. I agree with Adrine, you should right a follow up letter regarding your health and how the separation is affecting your daughter. Best of luck to you!

[cokezero000]

I have 2 friends that have kids with adhd and were able to get them off their meds by switching them to a low carb diet. One of the kids was so bad that he got kicked out of school and the other one was heading that way. Now they are completely different. The one that was kicked out is homeschooled now and is doing work on a 2nd-3rd grade level and he's suppose to be in 1st.

I was amazed at how much they changed by simply cutting out all sugar, grains, and processed food. Maybe you could try that and see if it helps.

[sam1010]

I had speech problems as a child and ADD, but my mom refused to put me on meds. she put me in speech therapy classes, and now you would never be able to tell I had a stutter and a lisp. I also got over the ADD and I graduated with honors in high school. Just keep sticking up for her Mom, you will be surprised at what she can accomplish with some strong support. Ohh, and as for the tantrums, ignore her, she will realize it is getting her nowhere once she realizes that mom is not falling for it. Your husband will get approved. Just watch and see. :wink:

[Pinkpig]

Here is my 2 cents and that is what it is worth.

Our younger son started kindergarten in September after he had turned 5 that July.

He was the youngest one in the class and had been to preschool since age 3.

He was strugggling a bit and so we decided along with the school that he would do kindergarten again. So he did. It was a really good decision. This was a time when everyone was holding their children back and sending them to school when they were older.

Have you read The Hurried Child or Fighting Invisible Tigers?

These are old books and may not even be applicable anymore....also maybe now everyone is sending their children to school earlier.

It is very important to forge a relationship with your child's school. They can be your best friend if you try. Any chance you have let them see your face. Volunteer in your child's school any and every time that you can. It will make a difference.

Again like I said this is my 2 cents worth.

[Luckysprite]

Have you read The Hurried Child or Fighting Invisible Tigers?

These are old books and may not even be applicable anymore....also maybe now everyone is sending their children to school earlier.
.


Pinkpig - I have a son in 7th grade who is opting to participate in the schools GT (gifted and talented) program, as he tested into it. He has to pick a set amount of extracurricular activities that teach various things outside of the classroom. One of the things he opted to do this year is Fighting Invisible Tigers. He hasnt done it yet - but I am assuming it is going to be based off of the book (which I didnt know existed until your post) ... But I guess my point is - that it is still around - and at least our school district puts faith in its teachings and still feels that what it teachs is relevant to today's kids!