? On waiver

[JamieNickole]

I am writing my hardship case and wonder if I should put this information in it. your oppions are appricated.
I was kindnapped by my father at 18 months old, my mother never told me until later on when I started having nightmares. Because of this ive always had trust issues and have hated being left alone.. I study pscyhology and they say feelings even from when a baby can resurface later on in life espcially tramatizing ones. I was unable to sleep in my own room until i was about 16. I had nightmares almost nightly because of this experience. My mother didnt tell me about it until i was old enough to understand. To this day I still hate being left alone in the house by myself. When my hubby is gone i cant sleep at all i am constantly thinking someone going to come in the hosue and take or what not.. I was also raped in my early teens years but never told anyone as it was my brothers friend and he told me he would kill my brohter if he found out. This guy dangerous. None of my family still knows. I guess i kept it inside for so long i figured it didnt matter know.. but i do believe this comes along alot with my trust issues also should I include it? theres no proff though?
So do you think this should be included? I have difficult trusting new surrondings because of this and new people which might help to be truthful. I have never spoken to a psyhologist or anything about this. I am going to go get a psychology evaluation so I could say somethign then and have them note it..
I am just worried because I dont have and medical hardships personaly cancer does run strong in my family and killed my mom 3 years ago at the age of 53. I just got in contact with my dads family so im sure i can have them writing something on the kidnapping and find out about there medical history to include.
just wondering what you all think..

[Brisa6]

I think a report from the psychologist will help with hardship evidence. We submitted one to our hardship package so I think it's a good idea. Hope you are well.

[Laura]

I would include it with the background information and information from the psychologist. Remember though that you have to tie this into how it creates hardship if your husband is not with you or you have to live abroad.

I would also absolutely use the family history of cancer and argue that you would be at risk if you lived abroad because you wouldn't have health insurance to do preventative care, etc.

[brezarenee]

I'm sorry you have gone through so much. I definitely think you could benefit from therapy to sort out all of these issues. Would your insurance cover therapy costs? Or if not, there's probably some low cost resources in your community. I'd recommend not just getting a psych evaluation, but actually going and seeing a therapist. You could have weekly appointments up until your appointment and not only get the documentation your need but also get some help.

The most frustrating thing about this waiver process for me is the skewed view that we all get. I mean we should want to see a psychologist to help us resolve our problems, not to document that we have them. I mean seriously, how messed up is it that this process makes us feel disappointed when we are healthy and have healthy families? <sigh> I have this same skewed view and I just hate it. :( I can't wait until this process can all be over and I can just be thankful for my healthy family. :)

[JamieNickole]

Thank you very much for your help.
I am actually studying to be a psychologist so Ive allready understand alot of the therapy practice and have been able to do deal with these issues on my own..
My mother could never afford therapy for me dealing with the kidnapping. So I guess i just learned to repress the feelings. I dont have nightmares as often maybe once a year.. I remember one of the first times i had one i scared hubby to death.. he was doing something in another room, up late and i had been sleeping woke up in the middle of the night screamming bloody murder.. I thought someone was in our house..
I could go talk to a therapist but i was told in the long run it could hurt my career.. but then again if it helps with his paperwork might be worth it more..
We have some really good friends who are therapist who have allready told me any help i need for hubby paper work they would do.. Weve known them since we moved here so thats nice...
Thanks ladies

[Amazonmamita]

Wow, you have been through alot, I think you idea about seeking counseling sounds like something that can help you, not just in the aspect of waiver but especially through the sexual assault. Its funny how immigration can make one think, instead of thinking "I need to get better", its "I can use this for my waiver"..........I hope you get some help soon.

[brezarenee]

I am actually studying to be a psychologist so Ive allready understand alot of the therapy practice and have been able to do deal with these issues on my own.




I could go talk to a therapist but i was told in the long run it could hurt my career.. but then again if it helps with his paperwork might be worth it more..


Can I ask, who did you hear this from? The APA actually recommends that practicing therapists seek therapy on a regular basis. Any medical records are confidential, so any future employers would not have access to such knowledge anyway. But from what I understand in the mental health field, actively taking care of one's mental health is seen as a positive thing not a negative one. The program that I'm in provides access to free therapy for clinical doctoral students as an optional part of the education.

[JamieNickole]

I cant remember who i heard it from.. But after my moms death i went through depression.. I spoke to my moms best friend whos a therapist but it was nothing like actaully therapy. My mom made me promise i would talk to her. she wasnt the one who told me that.. But someone had mentioned to me that if i was to get on anti depresents then I couldnt do something with my career.. Cant remember what exactly so its allways freaked me out.. Maybe it was one of my teachers... I want to actually become a psychiatrist so maybe it had something to do with that.. But im getting tired of giong to school and know am just consdiering becoming psychologist.
Ill ask one of my teachers about it.. once class starts and ask around to a few other people.. Becuase if it wont hurt me then I will go talk to someone..if we can afford it...
Thanks for your help

[brezarenee]

Maybe it was one of my teachers... I want to actually become a psychiatrist so maybe it had something to do with that.. But im getting tired of giong to school and know am just consdiering becoming psychologist.


What year are you in now? If you're tired of going to school, psychologist isn't actually a shorter route than psychiatrist. Psychology phd/psyd programs are generally 5 or so years. MD programs have classes for a couple years than internships and then residency - maybe taking 6+ years, but the residency is a paid and supervised job so it's not really like school anymore. From everything I know, PhD students seem to 'feel' like they're in school longer than 'MD' students (basically because of the residency years of an MD program). Grrrr....so many years of school.....:blush: