bohorquez
06-16-2008, 04:33 PM
All Laurel has asked me to get some friend to write letters on my behalf. One friend has come through and I was wondering if we can get opinions on it. Here's what her letter is supposed to be about.
1. how much more time/energy you spend taking care of your autistic son compared to what most people do for their kids, 2. how you also help care for your parents and buy their medicine, 3. how it was hard for you to go through your miscarriage alone, and 4. how much of a burden its been for you to do all this on your own during this time
Here's my friends letter.
June 13, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter on behalf of Bridget Bohorquez. I’ve known Bridget for three years and she is more than just my co-worker; she is my sister in Christ and my friend.
When we first met back in 2005, I found out that we had a lot in common: we were both married, both committed Christians and both mothers of young sons, nearly the same age. At first, Bridget told me that her husband was a parachurch leader in Mexico. Later, she explained the entire immigration situation to me and my heart went out to her and Eduardo and especially their son, Aaron.
I’ve watched Bridget struggle through the separation from her husband and raising their son essentially as a single mother. I know what it is to raise a small child, but Bridget has had the extra burden of raising one with special needs. During this time Bridget told me that Aaron has speech development issues and has been working with a therapist to overcome them. But she was frustrated by the lack of cooperation of the teacher and some in the school’s administration who would not work with Aaron’s case manager and therapist. I told her – no one would be a better advocate for her son than she would. She took that to heart and has fought with everyone to see that he is not left behind. Bridget has frequently taken time off – often without pay – to meet with his teachers, principal and case managers to ensure that everything that can be done for Aaron is done. The result has been great progress in his speech and his new teacher has commented that Bridget has been such a blessing as a parent working with her.
Last year, Bridget came to me in tears after she learned that Aaron was diagnosed as autistic. Compounded with his other learning issues, she felt that it was too much. But with great determination, she began to read and study and learn all she could about this condition. She connected with other parents online and with local support groups to help her come to terms with this. Aaron’s special education team has told Bridget that he can be helped and this would not be a hindrance to his development and future progress.
However, the toughest part has been dealing with this alone. Bridget tries to keep Eduardo involved, but it’s hard since he is not here and not able to talk with the teachers and specialists himself. He relies on what Bridget says in their emails or brief conversations, and often gets frustrated when he doesn’t understand what she’s trying to tell her. He wants her to make the decisions but she doesn’t want to do it alone and finds it frustrating because she has no one to turn to.
Bridget loves when she and Aaron are able to go and spend time with Eduardo, but it saddens her as well. Because of the distance and lack of day-to-day contact, Aaron doesn’t really know his father well. But he loves his father and misses him terribly. Bridget has said that part of Aaron’s difficulties stem from the absence of his father. When they are together, they have an incredible bond, but when they have to separate it devastates the little boy and exacerbates his problems, making it more difficult for Bridget to parent him effectively.
The one saving grace has been the support of Bridget’s parents. They have taken responsibility for getting Aaron to and from school and caring for him while Bridget works. This arrangement worked well until Bridget’s father’s illness last summer. For a while, it wasn’t clear if Mr. Ramos would survive. Mrs. Ramos depended on Bridget to help make medical decisions during his confinement at the hospital and then provide care after he returned home. Additionally, Bridget had to pick up the expense of his medications and assist in his continued care during his recovery. Finally, Bridget took a couple of unpaid weeks off to step in when her mother was overwhelmed with the entire situation to make sure that her father received medical attention when needed.
All of this, topped by her son’s needs and the continued stress of being separated from her husband, took a tremendous toll on Bridget. She lost weight and battled with depression that would sometimes overtake her. But God is good, and eventually things settled down.
Early this year, Bridget and Aaron took some time off and went to Mexico to be with Eduardo. The reunion rebuilt Bridget’s spirits and we were all overjoyed when she learned she was pregnant! That joy was tempered with sadness a few weeks later when Bridget suffered a miscarriage. As devastated as she was, it was made worse for her because she could not grieve with her husband or seek comfort from him due to their separation.
Bridget told me of her future plans should Eduardo not be allowed to return home. She will have to quit her job (which supports her family and her parents) and move to Mexico. Bridget is an American citizen and is not sure how she will adapt in a completely Mexican culture without her family’s support. She’s concerned that there will not be adequate healthcare for her family and that Aaron – who has made tremendous progress with his disabilities – will not receive the best education or help he needs and will regress, impeding his future success. She is equally concerned for the welfare of her parents, each of whom has their own health issues. Without her income, it will be difficult for them to obtain the monetary support they will need to stay healthy.
Bridget and I have shared laughs and tears. We’ve prayed for each other and encouraged each other. I know she doesn’t want to relocate to Mexico, but the strain of this separation has been too much and she fears her marriage will not survive. And though I will hate to see her go, I know she has to do what’s best for her family. But truthfully, the best thing for her and her family – all of her family – is to allow her husband to come home where he belongs.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Sincerely,
A good friend
1. how much more time/energy you spend taking care of your autistic son compared to what most people do for their kids, 2. how you also help care for your parents and buy their medicine, 3. how it was hard for you to go through your miscarriage alone, and 4. how much of a burden its been for you to do all this on your own during this time
Here's my friends letter.
June 13, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter on behalf of Bridget Bohorquez. I’ve known Bridget for three years and she is more than just my co-worker; she is my sister in Christ and my friend.
When we first met back in 2005, I found out that we had a lot in common: we were both married, both committed Christians and both mothers of young sons, nearly the same age. At first, Bridget told me that her husband was a parachurch leader in Mexico. Later, she explained the entire immigration situation to me and my heart went out to her and Eduardo and especially their son, Aaron.
I’ve watched Bridget struggle through the separation from her husband and raising their son essentially as a single mother. I know what it is to raise a small child, but Bridget has had the extra burden of raising one with special needs. During this time Bridget told me that Aaron has speech development issues and has been working with a therapist to overcome them. But she was frustrated by the lack of cooperation of the teacher and some in the school’s administration who would not work with Aaron’s case manager and therapist. I told her – no one would be a better advocate for her son than she would. She took that to heart and has fought with everyone to see that he is not left behind. Bridget has frequently taken time off – often without pay – to meet with his teachers, principal and case managers to ensure that everything that can be done for Aaron is done. The result has been great progress in his speech and his new teacher has commented that Bridget has been such a blessing as a parent working with her.
Last year, Bridget came to me in tears after she learned that Aaron was diagnosed as autistic. Compounded with his other learning issues, she felt that it was too much. But with great determination, she began to read and study and learn all she could about this condition. She connected with other parents online and with local support groups to help her come to terms with this. Aaron’s special education team has told Bridget that he can be helped and this would not be a hindrance to his development and future progress.
However, the toughest part has been dealing with this alone. Bridget tries to keep Eduardo involved, but it’s hard since he is not here and not able to talk with the teachers and specialists himself. He relies on what Bridget says in their emails or brief conversations, and often gets frustrated when he doesn’t understand what she’s trying to tell her. He wants her to make the decisions but she doesn’t want to do it alone and finds it frustrating because she has no one to turn to.
Bridget loves when she and Aaron are able to go and spend time with Eduardo, but it saddens her as well. Because of the distance and lack of day-to-day contact, Aaron doesn’t really know his father well. But he loves his father and misses him terribly. Bridget has said that part of Aaron’s difficulties stem from the absence of his father. When they are together, they have an incredible bond, but when they have to separate it devastates the little boy and exacerbates his problems, making it more difficult for Bridget to parent him effectively.
The one saving grace has been the support of Bridget’s parents. They have taken responsibility for getting Aaron to and from school and caring for him while Bridget works. This arrangement worked well until Bridget’s father’s illness last summer. For a while, it wasn’t clear if Mr. Ramos would survive. Mrs. Ramos depended on Bridget to help make medical decisions during his confinement at the hospital and then provide care after he returned home. Additionally, Bridget had to pick up the expense of his medications and assist in his continued care during his recovery. Finally, Bridget took a couple of unpaid weeks off to step in when her mother was overwhelmed with the entire situation to make sure that her father received medical attention when needed.
All of this, topped by her son’s needs and the continued stress of being separated from her husband, took a tremendous toll on Bridget. She lost weight and battled with depression that would sometimes overtake her. But God is good, and eventually things settled down.
Early this year, Bridget and Aaron took some time off and went to Mexico to be with Eduardo. The reunion rebuilt Bridget’s spirits and we were all overjoyed when she learned she was pregnant! That joy was tempered with sadness a few weeks later when Bridget suffered a miscarriage. As devastated as she was, it was made worse for her because she could not grieve with her husband or seek comfort from him due to their separation.
Bridget told me of her future plans should Eduardo not be allowed to return home. She will have to quit her job (which supports her family and her parents) and move to Mexico. Bridget is an American citizen and is not sure how she will adapt in a completely Mexican culture without her family’s support. She’s concerned that there will not be adequate healthcare for her family and that Aaron – who has made tremendous progress with his disabilities – will not receive the best education or help he needs and will regress, impeding his future success. She is equally concerned for the welfare of her parents, each of whom has their own health issues. Without her income, it will be difficult for them to obtain the monetary support they will need to stay healthy.
Bridget and I have shared laughs and tears. We’ve prayed for each other and encouraged each other. I know she doesn’t want to relocate to Mexico, but the strain of this separation has been too much and she fears her marriage will not survive. And though I will hate to see her go, I know she has to do what’s best for her family. But truthfully, the best thing for her and her family – all of her family – is to allow her husband to come home where he belongs.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Sincerely,
A good friend