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View Full Version : rough draft of my HSL please review


analoutv8
05-02-2008, 03:36 AM
My name is Analou Torres, name recently change from Lopez (see reference 1- proof of name change) and I am writing this in hopes of getting my husband back to the other side of the border with me. I know that we have not been separated as long as other couples have but during this time I wanted to spend my time being more invloved with school, seeing as how I had no reason to go home. However things did not go as well as I had hoped.
Education
I failed all but two of my classes (see reference 2- grade detail). That brought my GPA down and now I’ll be in school longer because I am going to have to retake those classes. At first I was doing ok but with our March appointement I had to hurry to take tests and do extra work but when I came back I developed depression and anxitey some that interferied with my school work. I started to skip classes because I just wanted to sleep or I had absulotly no motivation to go anwhere.

Articles on depression


I went to the doctor and he said that he tought that I had depression (see refernece3-first letter from doctor) but I told him that I didn’t want to take them but instead wanted to have him refer me to someone, which he did.
I started to see a lady named Anna from his church. We would talk and she and I would study the Bibile together. (see reference 4-letter from Anna)I also statrted to go to Wednesday night church and have developed a small relationship whith some people that have helped me with my depression.
Articles on depression and how friend or support system help
the doctor did prescribe me drug for my stomach which was bothering me due to stress.

Article on the drug

Article on what stomach stress could lead up to

I went back to the doctor because my depression was become worse. It was after I had skipped many times my clases and I couldn’t go on like that so the doctor prescribed me and and .(other letter from doctor)

Article on these drugs

Unfortunatly these have negative side affect which are
Drug
Side effects
Drug
Side effects
Drug
Side effects
Now I need some one to help me.

My family
I love my husband. I love my family. How can anyone choose between their family and their spouse, which are also family. I would have to make that choice. I can not be apart from my husband, not suffing like I have his time. But leave my family? They are my support and have helped me during this time, who would I turn to when I need support? My husband would have to work and what would I do all day?
My Spanish is passable, but not enohugh to go to school or work. Popele barely understand me, often I have to slow down and repeat what I said. I amm easy prey.

Article on rapes and thiefing in mexico/san luis for tourists

I would have to give up everthing. It could ruin my marriage, I don’t want that. I don’t want to harbor any resent for my husband for his legal staus that could set back my education, separate me from my family and friends, my job, my home, all that I know to be somewhere where I can barely keep up. This is only supposed to me a bump in the road for us, not a possible separation that could drive us apart. I have my life in the United States but without him it’s hurting me, the depression, the anxiety, the stress, an dthe pills really limit what I can do. But if I go with him I loss everything but him. Please don’t make me choose. Let him come back to me.
I thank you for your consideration and I wait outside for your approval.

jennyloca
05-02-2008, 06:34 PM
I think your rticle on depression SHould not start with "My doctor thinks" If I was you i'd maybe erase that and leave the part where you are taking meds for depression and the oter letter. The estatement about the maybe kills the chapter(to me)

jennyloca
05-02-2008, 06:36 PM
have someone correct te grammar its really bad.
I posted mine but my hubby a University graduate corrected it.
and some friends from here helped me a lot.

Laura
05-02-2008, 06:41 PM
Ana - I don't really know where to begin. This need a lot of work. Have you read any of the other letters here?

You have to come up with clear, strong arguments that explain why you need your husband with you. Saying the doctor thinks you have depression or that you are failing classes right now is really not very strong at all.

I would really advise you to read all these links (http://immigrate2us.net/forum/showthread.php?t=10942) and start over. This needs too much work to even comment, in my opinion.