Ok so I am a little upset today

[angela256z]

I am not sure if I am made with myself, my husband or his old roommate. So I asked a while ago if anyone had "instructions" on the process in spanish that were simple. I showed him the thread that we have here since that seemed to be the best which I totally agree cause my husband needs to know it, but.....

He read it and I could see on his face that he confused and so much more. He told me that he would sit with me later to talk about it. Well this week he had a painting job really far away so he stayed at his brothers place (where this old roommate is) for the week. Come to find out the roommate has a wife in Mexico who is waiting on a waiver interview. so get this...

the guy tells my husband that You get your first interview and you are deined. Ok that is fine and true. Then he proceeds to tell him that his lawyer told him that they could make the waiver appointment anytime after the first interview. So they had an interview about 3 days after the visa interview and then had it cancelled because the wife wanted to stay in Mexico for 3 - 5 months more. He said the lawyer said that they would be approved right away and that if she wanted to stay for a bit in Mexico the best thing to do is re-schedule the waiver interview!

So I told him no we are not doing that cause now he is loving the idea that he can stay with his mom and family for a few months. I told him that there is only a 50/50 chance he will be approved at that waiver interview and that the best thing is to get it done all at once. He doesn't want to beleive me! The roommate told him that he should believe him cause he has a lawyer and I am not one. I told him that if he is approved he can stay in Mexico for up to 6 months after and that it is best that way because if he stays in MX for 6 months before the interview and then is sent to the backlog that he will be waiting another year!

I am so upset with everything about this. Mad at myself for not just telling him and getting someone close to me to translate it, mad at him for having no faith in my answers and mad at this roommate guy for telling him not to beleive me.

[JustMe]

WOW I would be upset to.....I am speechless. I hope he will listen to you. Does your husband know about this forum? I would let him read a few postings so he can see for himself what people are going through.

[milliesmom]

Uck! I really hate people who think they know it all... Tell your husband that you've read about what REALLY happens in Ciudad Juarez and that this was THIS guy's experience. All the people on this forum can't be wrong.

Good luck to you Angela. Cuidate mucho!

[KellyKS]

Well possibly, you can have your husband come on this thread and see that I was one of the unlucky ones and my husband was backlogged.

Very true, there are lots of people that think they know how it is, because their lawyer is telling them that, but that doesn't beat having all the people on here share their experiences and hearing it first hand, than rather through a lawyer that isn't even in CDJ.

Maybe some people can write some things in Spanish on this thread for your husband to read. Would he come here and read things?

[brezarenee]

Angela - I'm sorry that he is being difficult. I would be so frustrated if my husband trusted someone else's word over mine. He's just scared and homesick though, so try your best not to be too hard on him.

After reading your post, I did a little searching online to see if I could find any thing good in Spanish. Actually came upon a few things.

First, this (http://mipagina.univision.com/ingresoilegalmatrimonioconciudadano/blog/) is a blog that explains all of the basic procedure, from filing the paperwork, to what will happen at the interviews. I haven't gotten a chance to read it word for word, but I will get back to it in the morning to double check for accuracy - perhaps other Spanish speakers seeing this can have a gander too!

Second, this one (http://www.holaaugusta.com/news.php?nid=154&pag=0) is a newspaper article that goes over what the I-601 is, fairly simply. Might be helpful.

Third, this is another (http://www.mienlace.com/?secc=14&subsecc=97&idt=8211) short and sweet article about the I-601.

I plan on showing my husband these websites too to get him better in the know. Maybe if he sees that there is the same information in a few different sites he'll start to gain more confidence in our internet research??

Finally, another thought is I know univision has a forum on I-601 perdon in Spanish. He could maybe go on there and read up, ask questions, etc. , not to mention there's a lot of Spanish speakers on this site and maybe we could start a Spanish speaking thread?

Hopefully some of this can be helpful!

[FloresFamilia]

could he ask questions of people here?

http://www.smf.juarez-mexico.com/index.php?board=44.0

[nineten]

@angela256z There's no sense in harboring anger toward yourself, hubby or the other persons. Everybody is just trying to be helpful to him and they are only doing this with the information 'that they have' although it's not case specific to what you and your husband need and want to do. I've had to deal with outsiders telling their sides of a story and their side was slightly different from ours but hubby always wanted to listen to who had the 'best sounding' comment! I had to set 'em straight!

Your husband is overwhelmed, confused and totally unclear about this entire process and what he's going to expect. It's much easier for him (or anybody) to listen to information that is easier to understand and especially when it's more pleasing to the ear. Instead of looking back and casting blame on anybody, including yourself, realize that at least you opened up a topic asking how you could explain in a simplified manner to him. A pat on the back to you!

Now you realize why it's important to find a game plan that is going to work in the way 'you' want it to be understood and agreed by the two of you and be the ultimate agreement. Follow the good advice of all the members on this thread and revise your plan. Take it as a blessing as to what the other guy told your husband because now you know what you need to focus on so hubby won't be so easily influenced again!

Once this becomes less convoluted, you two will be on the same page. After you both follow the advise of the members here and he understands better, then you could have your bilingual friend go over all of it with you both to confirm it's understood. And they might assist you while you guys read the articles and links provided as the members above suggested. It's going to be okay. You have a new game plan started now!

[angela256z]

WOW I would be upset to.....I am speechless. I hope he will listen to you. Does your husband know about this forum? I would let him read a few postings so he can see for himself what people are going through.

I am going to see if I can get him to come here and read some.

Well possibly, you can have your husband come on this thread and see that I was one of the unlucky ones and my husband was backlogged.

Very true, there are lots of people that think they know how it is, because their lawyer is telling them that, but that doesn't beat having all the people on here share their experiences and hearing it first hand, than rather through a lawyer that isn't even in CDJ.

Maybe some people can write some things in Spanish on this thread for your husband to read. Would he come here and read things?



I was thinking of having him write out questions and then posting here and asking for a reponse in spanish. The issue is getting him to write the questions. He now thinks he knows it all.

Angela - I'm sorry that he is being difficult. I would be so frustrated if my husband trusted someone else's word over mine. He's just scared and homesick though, so try your best not to be too hard on him.

After reading your post, I did a little searching online to see if I could find any thing good in Spanish. Actually came upon a few things.

First, this (http://mipagina.univision.com/ingresoilegalmatrimonioconciudadano/blog/) is a blog that explains all of the basic procedure, from filing the paperwork, to what will happen at the interviews. I haven't gotten a chance to read it word for word, but I will get back to it in the morning to double check for accuracy - perhaps other Spanish speakers seeing this can have a gander too!

Second, this one (http://www.holaaugusta.com/news.php?nid=154&pag=0) is a newspaper article that goes over what the I-601 is, fairly simply. Might be helpful.

Third, this is another (http://www.mienlace.com/?secc=14&subsecc=97&idt=8211) short and sweet article about the I-601.

I plan on showing my husband these websites too to get him better in the know. Maybe if he sees that there is the same information in a few different sites he'll start to gain more confidence in our internet research??

Finally, another thought is I know univision has a forum on I-601 perdon in Spanish. He could maybe go on there and read up, ask questions, etc. , not to mention there's a lot of Spanish speakers on this site and maybe we could start a Spanish speaking thread?

Hopefully some of this can be helpful!

I was not being mean to him. I was trying to be supportive and explain what would happen in comparision to his friends situation if we did it the way I was telling him and he kept saying he wanted to do it his way. He got really upset cause I said his friend was wrong and that their lawyer was wrong for re-scheduling that ladies wavier interview. He wouldn't listen to me. He told me he was done talking. Thanks for the links. I will check them out tomorrow.

could he ask questions of people here?

http://www.smf.juarez-mexico.com/index.php?board=44.0

I am going to try and bring him on the fourms and see.

@angela256z There's no sense in harboring anger toward yourself, hubby or the other persons. Everybody is just trying to be helpful to him and they are only doing this with the information 'that they have' although it's not case specific to what you and your husband need and want to do. I've had to deal with outsiders telling their sides of a story and their side was slightly different from ours but hubby always wanted to listen to who had the 'best sounding' comment! I had to set 'em straight!

Your husband is overwhelmed, confused and totally unclear about this entire process and what he's going to expect. It's much easier for him (or anybody) to listen to information that is easier to understand and especially when it's more pleasing to the ear. Instead of looking back and casting blame on anybody, including yourself, realize that at least you opened up a topic asking how you could explain in a simplified manner to him. A pat on the back to you!

Now you realize why it's important to find a game plan that is going to work in the way 'you' want it to be understood and agreed by the two of you and be the ultimate agreement. Follow the good advice of all the members on this thread and revise your plan. Take it as a blessing as to what the other guy told your husband because now you know what you need to focus on so hubby won't be so easily influenced again!

Once this becomes less convoluted, you two will be on the same page. After you both follow the advise of the members here and he understands better, then you could have your bilingual friend go over all of it with you both to confirm it's understood. And they might assist you while you guys read the articles and links provided as the members above suggested. It's going to be okay. You have a new game plan started now!

Hey Nine - I know I should not be upset. I think I am just under so much stress right now that I hate it when things go wrong. I feel upset at myself for not knowing more spanish to explain it to him. I am upset at him because he just starts to ignor me when he is frustrated. I was actually happy to hear that he knew someone that was going through the process and that he was sharing things with him. What made me upset at the roommate was that he told him not to believe me cause I was not a lawyer. My husband said that the guy said that I have never been through it so he should not believe what I say. He said that his wife and him were in the middle of it and knows what is going to happen. This man thinks that his wife will be approved at the waiver interview like it was guaranteed.

I just need a day off or something. I will calm down. My main reason for being upset is that someone is saying I don't know what I am talking about. I mean I did not spend hours on the internet and money on books to know nothing.

Thanks everyone for your support. I will try and get my hubby here and talk with you all of you.

[Dorothea]

Isn't it amazing how they can be so hard headed sometimes?:crazy:
Angela, you're right, and if he hasn't figured it out so far that you're obviously doing tons of research and doing everything right then he's just being a pain.
Not to be a terrible person, but I almost hope his friend's wife gets backlogged so he can see how wrong he was.
When you get his appointment I would absolutely make his waiver interview ASAP (since they seem to be a month out anyway!) and tell him you're not giving him a choice. That after that he can stay for a couple months and he can GO VISIT LEGALLY any time he wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that...

[Auntlily]

Isn't it amazing how they can be so hard headed sometimes?:crazy:
Angela, you're right, and if he hasn't figured it out so far that you're obviously doing tons of research and doing everything right then he's just being a pain.
Not to be a terrible person, but I almost hope his friend's wife gets backlogged so he can see how wrong he was.
When you get his appointment I would absolutely make his waiver interview ASAP (since they seem to be a month out anyway!) and tell him you're not giving him a choice. That after that he can stay for a couple months and he can GO VISIT LEGALLY any time he wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that...

:ditto:

[Laura]

Isn't it amazing how they can be so hard headed sometimes?:crazy:
Angela, you're right, and if he hasn't figured it out so far that you're obviously doing tons of research and doing everything right then he's just being a pain.
Not to be a terrible person, but I almost hope his friend's wife gets backlogged so he can see how wrong he was.
When you get his appointment I would absolutely make his waiver interview ASAP (since they seem to be a month out anyway!) and tell him you're not giving him a choice. That after that he can stay for a couple months and he can GO VISIT LEGALLY any time he wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that...

:ditto: 2

[brezarenee]

I was not being mean to him. I was trying to be supportive and explain what would happen in comparision to his friends situation if we did it the way I was telling him and he kept saying he wanted to do it his way. He got really upset cause I said his friend was wrong and that their lawyer was wrong for re-scheduling that ladies wavier interview. He wouldn't listen to me. He told me he was done talking. Thanks for the links. I will check them out tomorrow.



Hey Angela, I was not trying to imply in any way that you were being mean to him or unreasonable. I hope it didn't come out that way. I completely understand how frustrating it is to spend all of this effort and sacrifice so much of ourselves for our men (I mean, we basically dedicate our lives to figuring out this process) and then to feel like your man is ungrateful. Or even worse, in your case, to feel like he doesn't trust you despite all of this hard work. I would be just livid. And I think that you have every right to be angry with him and want to hit him over the head with a frying pan!!

That said, every time I want to hit my hubby over the head with a frying pan, I try to remember that he's also stressed and homesick so not necessarily thinking straight, so it'd be better to find a more helpful option to try to resolve this issue. Yelling and me getting angry doesn't work in our house, I have to be more sneaky. So my first thought was, let's get her some information so she can prove that man wrong and make him once again kiss the ground she walks on! :flowers:

[angela256z]

Isn't it amazing how they can be so hard headed sometimes?:crazy:
Angela, you're right, and if he hasn't figured it out so far that you're obviously doing tons of research and doing everything right then he's just being a pain.
Not to be a terrible person, but I almost hope his friend's wife gets backlogged so he can see how wrong he was.
When you get his appointment I would absolutely make his waiver interview ASAP (since they seem to be a month out anyway!) and tell him you're not giving him a choice. That after that he can stay for a couple months and he can GO VISIT LEGALLY any time he wants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that...

He has wanted to be active in the process, but he just doesn't understand it. I took him to a lawyer that we were going to use back in Aug 06 and she had someone come in and translate, but he said the guys spanish was not really good for the type of information he was translating. The guys would stop and have to think and then explain a certain word instead of finding the right word. I never got him truely involved because I didn't want him to be anymore stressed than needed since we were just starting and it was only the I-130.

Also deep down I don't want to be mean either, but if that wife got backlogged I would feel like I proved my point, but truely I don't wish that on anybody. :innocent:

Hey Angela, I was not trying to imply in any way that you were being mean to him or unreasonable. I hope it didn't come out that way. I completely understand how frustrating it is to spend all of this effort and sacrifice so much of ourselves for our men (I mean, we basically dedicate our lives to figuring out this process) and then to feel like your man is ungrateful. Or even worse, in your case, to feel like he doesn't trust you despite all of this hard work. I would be just livid. And I think that you have every right to be angry with him and want to hit him over the head with a frying pan!!

That said, every time I want to hit my hubby over the head with a frying pan, I try to remember that he's also stressed and homesick so not necessarily thinking straight, so it'd be better to find a more helpful option to try to resolve this issue. Yelling and me getting angry doesn't work in our house, I have to be more sneaky. So my first thought was, let's get her some information so she can prove that man wrong and make him once again kiss the ground she walks on! :flowers:

I didn't think you were implying that. I guess it came out wrong. I know he is stressed and I am trying to be nice about it, but I feel like I am going to crack. He says that the roommate also has someone else that he knows going through the process, but I think I may take up Adriane's offer to have him ask her husband questions. I am just nervous to have him talk to people I don't know now.

I guess we will see what happens.

[nineten]

@angela256z Basically you've taken it as an insult to your intelligence and that's okay. You were doing the best you could with the information you were presenting to him. I can certainly see it touching a nerve because you've obviously done a lot of research and have tried to find the easiest way for your husband to understand the process. Your husband probably realize what all you've been going through to research this so I can see where you'd take this as an affront.

If it's not this guy that's going to have a strong opinion, there will always be another person. That other guy probably felt more self-secure solely because he had an atty that he was trusting in (not saying the atty or the guy is right or wrong). And he thought that coming from an atty it was all set in stone and that's why he was thinking that you might not be as informed. (We all know better than that, angela25z.;)

If he had not put his trust in the atty then he'd probably be as confused as your husband so the guy was only expressing what he thinks are facts. No reason to get upset at the other guy, he doesn't know any better.

Look at it like a good thing that the other guy did bring this up. That's planted some thoughts in your mind as to needing to stress that aspect more strongly and be better armed with information for your husband right now - instead of your husband contemplating those changes farther down the line and throwing a bigger kink into the chain!

It's the hubby who I'd get upset with if he doesn't listen this time around when you present more information to him then, quoting Dorothea, "Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that....." Throw your arms up in the air and say to him, "Okay, you take the lead and tell me exactly what we're going to do and how it's going to be and if the results aren't favorable then don't blame me." Putting the monkey on his back and telling him you'll take a backseat to this will likely wake him up.

@Dorothea Not to be a terrible person, but I almost hope his friend's wife gets backlogged so he can see how wrong he was. Let's not entertain these type of thoughts and wish ill will upon another just to be able to use somebody else as an example to prove a point. Let's hope for the best for the other wife, always hope for the best for everybody:)

[Laura]

I would also totally recommend him talking to another male spouse of someone on the forum, like Mr. Adriane. There is definitely something to hearing it from another Mexican male... And Mr. Adriane is really cool (and also famous because of that photo with the HSL) - so you have nothing to worry about! :)

[nineten]

@laurafern11 Thanks for reminding. I think Adriane said in the other thread authored by angela25z that Mr. Adriane was offering to speak to the husband if he wished. I would've thought they'd done this already.

[angela256z]

@angela256z Basically you've taken it as an insult to your intelligence and that's okay. You were doing the best you could with the information you were presenting to him. I can certainly see it touching a nerve because you've obviously done a lot of research and have tried to find the easiest way for your husband to understand the process. Your husband probably realize what all you've been going through to research this so I can see where you'd take this as an affront.

If it's not this guy that's going to have a strong opinion, there will always be another person. That other guy probably felt more self-secure solely because he had an atty that he was trusting in (not saying the atty or the guy is right or wrong). And he thought that coming from an atty it was all set in stone and that's why he was thinking that you might not be as informed. (We all know better than that, angela25z.;)

If he had not put his trust in the atty then he'd probably be as confused as your husband so the guy was only expressing what he thinks are facts. No reason to get upset at the other guy, he doesn't know any better.

Look at it like a good thing that the other guy did bring this up. That's planted some thoughts in your mind as to needing to stress that aspect more strongly and be better armed with information for your husband right now - instead of your husband contemplating those changes farther down the line and throwing a bigger kink into the chain!

It's the hubby who I'd get upset with if he doesn't listen this time around when you present more information to him then, quoting Dorothea, "Maybe I'm tougher than you are, but he hasn't wanted to be involved in the whole process until now, and he obviously hasn't done any research about any of it, so tell him he just doesn't have a choice. Or tell him he can just take care of everything from now on, and see how he likes that....." Throw your arms up in the air and say to him, "Okay, you take the lead and tell me exactly what we're going to do and how it's going to be and if the results aren't favorable then don't blame me." Putting the monkey on his back and telling him you'll take a backseat to this will likely wake him up.



Making him take the reigns for a bit would scare his butt back to reality. I know I should not be upset at this other guy, but I am tired of his friends and family thinking they know what is best and that I know nothing. This is not the first time one of them has given him advise about something and said I knew nothing about it. Because of their advise he almost lost his job.

I would also totally recommend him talking to another male spouse of someone on the forum, like Mr. Adriane. There is definitely something to hearing it from another Mexican male... And Mr. Adriane is really cool (and also famous because of that photo with the HSL) - so you have nothing to worry about! :)

@laurafern11 Thanks for reminding. I think Adriane said in the other thread authored by angela25z that Mr. Adriane was offering to speak to the husband if he wished. I would've thought they'd done this already.

Yes I just need to get him into the idea of talking to someone he doesn't know. Also getting time to talk to them cause he works so much. I will talk to him about it and see where it goes.

[angela256z]

BTW - Thanks to all of you for always being here. You guys of some of the nicest people I have ever gotten to know. I appreciate all your advise and helpful knowledge.

[chalakita]

Angela - I know you are not a lawyer, but when I joined this site I got sooo muchhh help from you. You know what you are doing and your husband should appreciatte all your effort!!! I know the language can be a problem when you try to discuss something as complicated as immigration, but there is people here who speak Spanish, like Laurafern said maybe talking to a guy will help.

[nineten]

Because of their advise he almost lost his job.

Ooooh, that one should've woke him up and made him realize that YOU are the one that is looking out for his best interests.

Now I really see how important it is that he quits literally following the advise of these other people. It rings as if you're husband is easily influenced by others well-meant advise and it's okay to listen to them but YOU TWO are the final decision makers, make that clear to him!!!! Yes, you definitely need to get his full attention and co-operation on a genuine conversation.:gathering:

[jsierra1982]

ugh angela, i totally understand your frustration. i have had SO MANY arguments with my husband about why he should listen to me about this process since i am not a lawyer, and why i feel like i should trust "those people" on i2us. i keep telling him that "those people" are very knowledgeably and even if they weren't, i would of course review and carefully consider any advice i received before taking it just like i do in any other area of my life. aaaanyway, keep your head up and make the appointment for when you need to make it for, and be like, ok, this is the day of our appt and we have to be there. end of story. :hug:

[angela256z]

Ooooh, that one should've woke him up and made him realize that YOU are the one that is looking out for his best interests.

Now I really see how important it is that he quits literally following the advise of these other people. It rings as if you're husband is easily influenced by others well-meant advise and it's okay to listen to them but YOU TWO are the final decision makers, make that clear to him!!!! Yes, you definitely need to get his full attention and co-operation on a genuine conversation.:gathering:

Yeah he works with food and was suppose to get a food handlers permit. Well when he went to do it he couldn't wait so his friend said well don't worry about it you don't need it cause you are only a busser. I told him that it did not matter that he needed it cause he worked around food. Well he took the friends advise, never went back and then his boss caught it. His boss said that he had only 3 days to get it or he would lose his job. Needless to say he went and got it, but why he listens to certain people just confuses me.

ugh angela, i totally understand your frustration. i have had SO MANY arguments with my husband about why he should listen to me about this process since i am not a lawyer, and why i feel like i should trust "those people" on i2us. i keep telling him that "those people" are very knowledgeably and even if they weren't, i would of course review and carefully consider any advice i received before taking it just like i do in any other area of my life. aaaanyway, keep your head up and make the appointment for when you need to make it for, and be like, ok, this is the day of our appt and we have to be there. end of story. :hug:

Thanks J. I am going to try and make him understand. We will see. I have a lot of great options to help him with everyone being so supportive here so I will just use my resources.

[JennyM]

So what is the problem with him trying to get approved first and then stay in mexico a few more months???? So he can come and go as he pleases.

[angela256z]

So what is the problem with him trying to get approved first and then stay in mexico a few more months???? So he can come and go as he pleases.

That is what I tell him is that we are going to do the waiver interview and then he can stay in Mexico a few months after, but his friend told him that my way is not correct and that he needs to have a waiver interview when he is ready to leave. This is why I am upset cause he believes the friend is right and won't believe me when I say that he can stay for up to 6 months on the K3 visa and then even visit back an forth after. He is just being hard headed and liking the friend suggestions since the friend is already that far into the process. I told him there is a change that he will have to stay anyways after that interview and he said that his friend said that you get approved at the second interview.

[tasksgirl]

Maybe have him consult with Laurel or another lawyer so he can hear it from a professional.. but that totally sucks that he doesn't believe you.. hubby does that sometimes its SOO annoying..

[angela256z]

Maybe have him consult with Laurel or another lawyer so he can hear it from a professional.. but that totally sucks that he doesn't believe you.. hubby does that sometimes its SOO annoying..

I would have to find a lawyer that speaks spanish fluently. We had gone to a lawyer back in 06 and the translator they had was not good.

[Dorothea]

Angela, Laurel's new assistant speaks fluent Spanish;) So if you did a phone conference with both of them and both of you it could be very successful in explaining the process to him.
Another question though, would he trust Laurel (because she's a woman)?

[jsierra1982]

would that be our very own...:thumbup:

[Dorothea]

would that be our very own...:thumbup:

Yes indeedy!:thumbup:

[ratito921]

you know Angela I went through the same thing with my hubby but in the end he trusted me to do it. I gave him Laurels phone number and told him to call her if he didn't believe me. He never called, but if it wasn't for everyone on here we'd still be searching for answers.

Sometimes people want to believe things that their friends tell them because hey they're friends why would their friends lie. Maybe it sounded good to him and gave him hope.

I do hope that you can explain to your hubby exactly how it goes and that he will have some kind of knowledge on how the whole process works. My hubby didn't take it too seriously but when I met him in Mexico and we wrote the letters and put the entire packet together he looked at me and said he was sorry for being rude and that now he see that I was really working hard and not just online socializing.

Of course now after 4 years of I2US he realizes that everyone here is real and after meeting people from here he realizes that we're all just regular people and all in the same boat together.

Hang in there chica, my sister from another mother :D You all will make it just "have a little faith" yeah I know how cliche hahahaha

[jsierra1982]

oh yeah mine started to trust me the second i had that NOA2 in my hands, like "maybe you do know something..." he also loves to go through the family photos thread and i think that makes him realize that you are all real people with real families and genuinely good intent...

[Emily]

Angela - I'm sorry that he is being difficult. I would be so frustrated if my husband trusted someone else's word over mine. He's just scared and homesick though, so try your best not to be too hard on him.

After reading your post, I did a little searching online to see if I could find any thing good in Spanish. Actually came upon a few things.

First, this (http://mipagina.univision.com/ingresoilegalmatrimonioconciudadano/blog/) is a blog that explains all of the basic procedure, from filing the paperwork, to what will happen at the interviews. I haven't gotten a chance to read it word for word, but I will get back to it in the morning to double check for accuracy - perhaps other Spanish speakers seeing this can have a gander too!

Second, this one (http://www.holaaugusta.com/news.php?nid=154&pag=0) is a newspaper article that goes over what the I-601 is, fairly simply. Might be helpful.

Third, this is another (http://www.mienlace.com/?secc=14&subsecc=97&idt=8211) short and sweet article about the I-601.

I plan on showing my husband these websites too to get him better in the know. Maybe if he sees that there is the same information in a few different sites he'll start to gain more confidence in our internet research??

Finally, another thought is I know univision has a forum on I-601 perdon in Spanish. He could maybe go on there and read up, ask questions, etc. , not to mention there's a lot of Spanish speakers on this site and maybe we could start a Spanish speaking thread?

Hopefully some of this can be helpful!


These are really good. I let my husband read them also. It helped him understand better!

[brezarenee]

These are really good. I let my husband read them also. It helped him understand better!

Yeah, I read them over after I posted them and I think they will help my husband a bit more too! I'm out of town right now, but I'll let him read them when I get home.

Maybe I should move that post to it's own thread so more people can see it and add other Spanish info that they have?

[nineten]

@brezarenee Thanks for the work your putting into this. Don't you have a similar one going in I-601 Mexico? This really needs a permanent home when it gets off the ground.

[nineten]

@angela256z In the past I've been able to blow off tarnished comments from others regarding the immigration process. On May 1st right before we walked into my husband's immigration court hearing he informed me that (illegal) brother who (has not gone through the process up to time of court) told him that we'd NOT be getting all of our detainment bond money, which was previously and directly posted by us to DHS, returned to us. He said that the court would be taking amounts of it to cover cost and that we'll be only be left with a minute amount of the $7,500. Totally incorrect information!!

I will give him benefit of the doubt that he might be thinking of some other type of case or whatever and my husband might've believed it because it's been quite a while since we last discussed the return of the money. I can see how my husband wouldn't recall our conversation and of course, we'd soon be combing back over it since the court is completed and he will depart.

We can't control others giving their opinions whether they're right or wrong. We must trust that we have our husband's full attention and trust in us.

We know that's hard and I'm presently thinking of a game plan in how to implement better strategy for him to understand. (Going through it again, that is, just in a different way.)

We do have an attorney. In the beginning my husband would've preferred a Spanish-speaking attorney over one that didn't speak Spanish. We chose Laurel for all apparent reasons but there were a few times he said he wanted to speak with her and of course, he couldn't and was disappointed. I assured him that irregardless of her not being bilingual that Laurel was our best choice. He watched her videos and fortunately she had one she spoke in Spanish. All my husband could say afterward was, "Ten years!!!" It did help to explain but it must be watched several times I think. They get so caught up in the 10 year deal that they can't think about anything else but wanting positive results.

I think the video with Laurel is beneficial and hopefully now that she has our member Lynette in her employ, it would be nice to see a video of Lynette explaining some things in Spanish also so that clients and potential clients would feel even more familiar with Laurel and her new bilingual assistant although it's noted on her site that Spanish is spoken. At least for FYI basic information. Most everybody already knows that firms have attorneys that use their staff for translations if the client doesn't have one.

Maybe I'll ask Laurel about this in her thread. I don't know if that would be appropriate to have since it might detract attention away from the attorney. I dunno. Just a thought but if it proved beneficial in the long run that would be all that matters. Laurel seems to be a woman in her own right so I think she'd do what she wants to do regardless of the opinions of other attorneys which is a trait I admire in those that march to the beat of a different drum.

A professional conversation in Spanish is crucial. I'm the only one out of 14 living first cousins out of a total of 16 that wasn't fluent in Spanish since the day they began to speak. Only for a few family members on the Spanish side are there any who aren't fluently bilingual. Unfortunatley I'm not fluent enough to explain in exact detail his immigration process. I have the advantage of having any of my family members explain but what holds me back is the fact that you have to explain this to them first. It's something that can be tiresome and I also prefer to not have my family or my husbands family involved in "our personal conversations" regarding the process. Realities can become twisted.

I elect to leave them out because I don't want any opinions filtering in to what has already been said and understood between us. I strive to keep it less complicated when it comes to others entering in. Especially because they are ignorant about the details of our case not to mention the entire process itself. I don't need them contradicting USCIS, personal experiences from members, and other information found confirming what we know, the way it actually is.

I prefer, but I know it's not always possible for everybody to find somebody that is a friend that is knowledgeable about the process that can be a translator. And in agreement with you, it's better that the DH (Dear Husband) understands as much as possible beforehand in a simple way, less complicated way.

brezarenee gave some links of which I'm going to ask him to read soon. I'm also going to find all information possible and I'm wondering if brezarenee has posted any new links or information on any other threads. If anybody knows, please direct me to them. (btw, thanks again brezarenee for your contribution.)

I'm also going to ask one of our many bilingual friends, fortunately who is in the same boat as us and is nearby, to later converse with DH about this. First I'm going to take a notebook and separate the entire process into segments and let him digest them one by one and remain focused until moving on to the next segment. At least some of the points won't be so foreign to him when he later converses with someone.

It gets so aggravating to me when he asked me, "What's NVC?" I've already told him several times!

I know my husband well enough that he really begins to listen and let things soak in when he's closer to the actual point in the journey where he's arriving. In this case it would be that he needs to know and understand this before he leaves. I think I'll have his full attention more so now than before.

We have the information here, videos, testimonies, links, etc. As I said, I need to present the information in a visual as well as verbal manner. Before my husband speaks with Laurel's office in the future, I expect him to have a basic understanding beforehand. I feel that's my responsibility to prepare him. (Believe me, I have but a better, more explanatory approach is going to be needed now!)

If anybody has found more information and ideas for a strategy to present to our husbands it would be much appreciated if you'll post here and along with any of your opinions as well. I'm always open to others ideas.

[Laurel Scott]

it's noted on her site that Spanish is spoken

On the contrary, its noted on my site that consultations are only available in English and I don't see anywhere on my site where I make any statements that would lead one to think I'm going to handle their case in Spanish. If you see somewhere that I make a statement indicating that, please point it out to me so it can be corrected. As many attorneys do speak Spanish, some people seek consultations with me asking me to speak Spanish. I always make it clear that the case will be conducted in English. My paralegal of 4 years, Lizz, is fluent in Spanish and Portuguese. I attempted to do some communications through her, but it never really worked out. In the early years I took a few clients who did not speak English well, but based on my experience with them, I decided not to continue doing that. With rare exception, I do my best NOT to give the impression that all or part of the representation will be conducted in a language other than English.

Thank you for bringing this up. Perhaps I can make a little more effort to discourage people from thinking we are going to be handling their case in a language other than English. If neither spouse speaks English, I will not take the case. If only one spouse speaks English, I will work with that spouse.

[angela256z]

Nine - Thanks for the info and all our great comments. We had a consultantion with a lawyer who brought in a translator, but the translator did not know many legal terms and would say something in spanish like "The you will have an interview with a officer and they will tell you that you can not have a visa. Then you will have a waiver appointment where you will give them a letter that shows "bad things" will happen to your wife if you were to stay in mexico or if she lived there." Bad things my husband was not happy with that term.

Laurel - Thanks for the update. I do not expect that our case be handled in spanish. I am just looking for a good explination for my husband.

Thanks everyone.

[Adriane]

Has he read through Laurafern's guide in Spanish? Did that help at all?

What is he confused about exactly?