What happened to my husband??????

[teajay]

This is just so weird and frustrating. Hubby has been a total pain in the butt since I received my new resident card with the conditions lifted last week. He has started accusing me of having an affair???? I work in Canada, leave the house at 7:30AM be at work for 8:00AM work all day, get off at 5PM drive home and walk in the door at 5:45. It also is our tax season so work is very hectic. Who has time or would want a 2 minute affair? I can get that at home.

I was just wondering if there was anybody else who had the same situation once the immigration process was over.

I have sank my life into immigrating to the states so I could be with my husband. I sold my house in Canada, put all the money and started a company so he could have a job.

Now he is acting like this. Another comment he made was "Now that you have your unconditional card, you can leave me and move on" What the heck does that mean?

I just needed to vent.

[Cfloresgirl]

I can't say I completely understand because I am no where finished with the process.Sounds like your hubby might be a wee bit insecure.Maybe when you and he were working on getting your green card he felt a little more control over how you come and go.My hubby can be insecure at times..best thing to do is just reassure him that you love him..and maybe you'll have to remind him of all you gave up in Canada to be with him...Hope it gets better soon:wink:

[Pooh79]

I agree with Cflores, I think maybe is insecure now and figures you will leave him at any second now. I guess its a tiny little fear most spouses have when they adjust status for the other spouse. Maybe he just needs a little reassurance from you. Hang in there he will probably snap out of it soon. :) Luck.

[lizardc]

How weird. But maybe he is just worried that things will change between you two. JUst reassure him that you love him just the same. I kind of went thru that. My hubby just got approved 2 weeks ago and I was a tiny bit worried that things would change. I was a bit insecure. But everything is great. EVen if you think you don't need to, just lovingly reassure him.

[Glühbirne]

As the US citizen half of a binational marriage, I must admit that even I have had moments of insecurity where I've wondered if I was being used. When you give your heart to someone and make so many sacrifices for them, it's hard not to be a little nervous. Sometimes I still jokingly make comments to Mr. G.........

With that said, I don't think your husband is dealing with his insecurities in a very healthy or mature manner. Maybe you could sit down with him and remind him that you love him and married him for him and that his jealousy and accusations are just hurting your feelings.

If he doesn't come around, maybe you could find a counselor to help him work through his trust issues.

[nineten]

It's definitely a new step, a new change within the relationship and that can't be denied. Any sort of change, good or bad, often brings on stress even if minor. Sure he has some thoughts swimming around in his mind but keep assuring him as the members have suggested and definitely don't let him forget what you've done for him and I think he'll chill out very soon. He might have a little insecurity right now but your reaction to it is what's going to allay his fears and he'll soon relax.

[Auntlily]

:shy: Unfortunately I too have subjected my husband once or twice to the accusations of being used for getting his card. But not anymore, he has done things to prove to me that he LOVES me unconditionally. Plus, he has watched the show SNAPPED from Oxygen one too many times and is fearful..LOL...that I might show up with a butter knife and put it use. LOL!!!!

[joy&pain]

:shy: Unfortunately I too have subjected my husband once or twice to the accusations of being used for getting his card. But not anymore, he has done things to prove to me that he LOVES me unconditionally. Plus, he has watched the show SNAPPED from Oxygen one too many times and is fearful..LOL...that I might show up with a butter knife and put it use. LOL!!!!

ha ha! lily is hysterical!

What's your husband's love language? If you have no idea, figure it out and shower him with love in his particular love language... that will build his security in your marriage. check it out:

www.fivelovelanguages.com

[teajay]

ha ha! lily is hysterical!

What's your husband's love language? If you have no idea, figure it out and shower him with love in his particular love language... that will build his security in your marriage. check it out:

www.fivelovelanguages.com



ok, looks like he is the Physical Touch love language. I guess you all know what I'll be doing :wink:

Thanks for the advice and reassurance.

[joy&pain]

ok, looks like he is the Physical Touch love language. I guess you all know what I'll be doing :wink:

Thanks for the advice and reassurance.

ha! love it! Have fun!!!! :wink: