I dont know what to name myself???

[mouse7r]

I need to get a new SS card, my other one has disappeared which is scary bc Im so careful! So I guess its time to change my name! I havent since we got married.... but I really dont know what to go with. Hubby just wants me to take his name. My mum wants me to keep my maiden name or as my middle, or at least - it with hubbies....

I have always just had a first and last name, and since being married I have used a bunch of combos... if I dont keep my maiden name somewhere my mum will cry.. seriously.

What do you all think? What did you do or will you do?? Thanks :D

[KellyKS]

Oh my, hopefully you just misplaced the card in your own house.

What state do you live in? Because each state has different rules on how you can change your name after getting married. For example in Iowa, when you get married you sign the marriage application/certificate with the name that you want as your legal name. After that you can't change it unless you do a name change and than you have to pay more.

Though I know in some states, you can change it after you get married. I know my sister wanted to make her maiden name her middle name but in the state of Iowa you can't do that, that would be a name change. So she just settled by keeping her last name and adding her husband's, though she usually just goes by her husband's name.

I on the other hand, also kept my last name, but added my husband's. But usually go professionally by just my last name.

I would just do what you think works best for you, plus check what your state rules are on this.

[brezarenee]

I hyphenated my maiden and hubby's paternal last name. This was a huge hassle mind you, because on our marriage certificate our state hyphenated my husband's two last names, even though they're technically not hyphenated. Anyway, the rule is you can't just take part of the hyphenated name, you have to take the whole darn thing! So according to them these were my options 1) keep my maiden name, 2) take my hubby's paternal-maternal, 3) triple hyphenate maiden-hubbypaternal-hubbymaternal - INSANE!! Hopefully this isn't an issue for you, but just wanted to give the heads up, that they like to make it a big hassle.

I ended up going back to the DMV and SSA repeated times until I found workers that were apathetic/in a hurry/unknowledgeable enough that they would do it the way I wanted! So in the end, I've got maiden-hubbypaternal. Although I would have preferred to just get to have two last names. At the time I didn't even think of making my last name the middle name. All such a big hassle. Can't I just up and change my name to Madonna if I want to??

[aprilstorm]

I took my hubby's name.

[arcoiris]

I like the traditional spanish name changing rules. It seems to make more sense in figuring out the geneology. But it's inconvienient here. My name would be something like Arcoiris Jane Doe de Fulano. It's a mouthful and a nightmare on an i-9 form, but don't it sound so nice! Like I'm royalty or something!

[monki12]

:lol: arcoiris....

mouse, i felt the same way as you, except i was the one who wanted to keep my last name. I put my last name as a middle name and took hubby's last name. it was easy to put my last name as my middle name, and i like it:wink:

[Glühbirne]

I just dropped my name and took my husband's paternal last name. I toyed with the idea of using my maiden name as my middle name, but decided against it.

You could use your maiden name, then "de" then your husband's name, all as your last name.

When I'm in Mexico, I often put a "de" in front of my last name so people understand I'm Mr. G's wife and not his sister!

[jeannie]

I am dealing with the same situation. I like my last name and don't want to loose it. I have my mother's and father's last name so I will have to drop my mother's name and add my husband's. I don't want to put "de" because that sounds like I belong to him. I know that is not what it means it just sounds like that and I don't like it. I also don't want my dad's name to be gone. They are only 2 boys in my family and we have no cousins that we know of. My daughter has my last name and my hubby's. Let us know what you decide to do. eventually I think I will just add hubby's name at the end and take of my mother's name. so first name and two last names.

[brezarenee]

Oh, yeah, I'd definitely think about kids names too!

Mouse, what did you do with your kids names?

Sometimes I wish I would have thought that out more because my last names and my son's last names are backwards. So, I'm me-hubby, and my son is hubby-me. In Latino culture, everyone understands the rules and it makes perfect sense. But, everyone else is completely confused by this name mismatch. At the doctor's office they always think it's a typo. So confusing hehehe. There's a part of me that wishes I'd done the same order for myself and my son, but on the other hand, I really like the logic and tradition of Latino last names, so that's how I made the desicion!

[MMGCA]

I like the traditional spanish name changing rules. It seems to make more sense in figuring out the geneology. But it's inconvienient here. My name would be something like Arcoiris Jane Doe de Fulano. It's a mouthful and a nightmare on an i-9 form, but don't it sound so nice! Like I'm royalty or something!



:thumbup: good one!!!! my last maiden name is ***** ********* gonzalez orozco de morales(the * are my first and middle name).....god that is long that is why i just keped my hubbys!!....lol

[jeannie]

Oh, yeah, I'd definitely think about kids names too!

Mouse, what did you do with your kids names?

Sometimes I wish I would have thought that out more because my last names and my son's last names are backwards. So, I'm me-hubby, and my son is hubby-me. In Latino culture, everyone understands the rules and it makes perfect sense. But, everyone else is completely confused by this name mismatch. At the doctor's office they always think it's a typo. So confusing hehehe. There's a part of me that wishes I'd done the same order for myself and my son, but on the other hand, I really like the logic and tradition of Latino last names, so that's how I made the desicion!

That is one of the problems I am having also. I don't want to put hubby's name before mine, but my daughter has his last name first then mine. So then I will be mine then hubby's. We are all different. We will never be one of those cute family's with one simple last name like familia reyes or the logans.

[Auntlily]

I'm Lily Maiden Name Husbands Last Name...

I am one of the confused bunch by the whole Latino two last names culture. I will NEVER understand it.

Oh and my suegra will make a big fuss if I just call her Suegra Last Name...No she wants to make sure I call her Suegra Last Name de Last Name. Ugh...Can't we keep it simple for the simple minded??

[mouse7r]

My kids are just Daughter Middle Flores, so they just have their daddies paternal name... we always said we would add mine, but I dont see the point... hubbies family doesnt use the 'de' thing :) It sounds kinda nice though... i tried using both, and it was awkward, mouse maiden flores, then i tried - them and its just a mouthful..... I think if I didnt have my mum breathing down my neck I would just be Mouse Flores and have it be done :) I mean my mum and her mum and my dads mum just took their hubbies names.... but my dad is the only son, and he has no sons, so his name stops here! ekk I dont know :)

[mouse7r]

I was suppose to change it today.. and I havent gone bc I dont know my name hahaha

[arcoiris]

I didn't do the spanish name with my son. I'm educating him here in the US, so for simplicity his name is the American style Brown Bear Fulano instead of the spanish Brown Bear Fulano-Doe. I figure it's easier to tack on a name later on if he wants than to take on off.
I've always wanted to keep my maiden name. I don't really like the whole loose your maiden name to become Mrs. Captian Sassy Pants Fulano. Then, on paper, I've certainly lost my identity. It's just so much easier to keep up with things if you do the Arcoiris Jane Doe de Fulano. But, it's a big hassle here in the States.

[Nepthys]

I took my husbands name and he dropped his maternal last name. He hated how they always made his maternal last name the last name and his paternal his middle name. So he dropped the one. We got married in Iowa and what ever you sign on the marriage certificate is you new legal name.

[clmjmm7]

I never really had a problem with it. Both of Javi's last names are the same. I had been married once before so I had already dropped my maiden name. I was first name, middle name, last name. So when Javi and I got married I just took his last name and since they are both the same I didn't have anything to decide about. LOL! Also, since his are the same he never has any issues with people getting his last name wrong. It works out pretty well. One reason I dropped my maiden name was because a lot of my family calls me by my first and middle name together. So I didn't want to change my middle name to my last name or keep my last name and add on my husbands. My name is long enough as it is.

[Klame1983]

Oh, I love this topic! It can be so controversial sometimes!

You could not even pay me enough to drop my maiden name! No way! What I did was First Name Middle Initial Maiden - Hubby's. When I introduce myself I say the whole thing other than my middle. We are all girls in my family, so if we drop our maiden name, that's it... the name will die! With our kids, I have decided that they will all have my maiden name as their middle name at least! Hubby doesn't like that idea, but it's either that or them taking my maiden name as their last name! Yikes!

I guess I'm just a feminist, but I don't agree that just because we get married we should drop our name we were born with. What I really hate is when people call me Mrs. Hubby's last name. That really irritates me and then I correct them saying, no it's ******-****.

Maybe I'm just crazy but that's how I feel about it! :)

[Klame1983]

Oh, and my sisters are crazy too... my sister is pregnant right now and she says the baby is only going to have her maiden name! she's refused to even hyphenate it with her hubby's and she doesn't even want the baby to have it! Wow!

[Glühbirne]

Oh, and my sisters are crazy too... my sister is pregnant right now and she says the baby is only going to have her maiden name! she's refused to even hyphenate it with her hubby's and she doesn't even want the baby to have it! Wow!


My two cousins have thier mother's last name. I had no idea until a few years ago. The first one was born out of wedlock, so I can understand that more. But when the second one was born, my uncle and the mother were even married.......and they have just her name. Wow!

My future children will probably be registered with just Mr. G's last name here, and with both his last name and mine in Mexico, since when we do have children, we want to register thier births in Mexico as well.

I think it's easier to just use whatever the "norm" is in the country you happen to be at the moment.

It's too hard for Americans to understand the dual name thing and the forms just don't accomodate it, while in Mexico all forms want two last names.

[Azul y Vampy]

I took my husband's paternal last name as my middle name, and left my maiden last name intact! I didn't have a middle name to begin with, so that made it easier. Both my parents are Mexican, so they both have 2 last names (paternal & maternal), and also, my mom kept her maiden name, so my brother and I have no relation to my mom... some of our friends from school even thought that my parents weren't married! They've been happily for over 30 yrs :bounce:
For our kids, they're just going to have my husband's paternal name... I guess they will also get asked if we're married too :)