what should I do with this family problem?

[jeannie]

ok, Brother is always saying mean things to all family members. Well his wife likes to do it to. Example: We all went out to eat and out of nowhere bro keeps talking about how he is going to mexico and he can come back. He was making fun of my hubby. I did not say anything because I did not want to ruin the dinner.
Well recently we went on a vacation together and for some reason he brought up all the stuff that everyone in the family is always saying to him. He married an american (red hair and all) and children look really white. Well, everyone has been calling them wedos there whole life because they are white not in a mean way just nick name. Like pelon or gordo. He said that this really offended him. I said what is wrong with being white. He yelled" I am not white and neither are my children!" I looked at his wife and said "are you ashamed of being american too?" She responded I'm not american I act mexican. None of them speak spanish and we had no idea that they were acting like they were mexicans.I said " I had no idea, I promise to tell everyone not to call you that again" For the record I have never called them this.The reason why the family stays away from him because he will say really mean "jokes" that no one thinks is funny. He said he was sorry and that i was the last person in the family that still talked to him.
I forgave him and thought we moved on.
But a couple of days ago I called him to ask him if he could meet with the family for a family photo shoot that I want to do for my mom for mother's day. He said "I'm going to pass because everyone is always saying mean things to me" I was in shocked! He is the oldest and he is 31 years old. Why is he acting like a little girl? He said really mean things to me on the trip like how he is better then my hubby because he makes more money.If I can move on why can't he?
I am not gonna be begging him. We are all adults and I think he should quit acting like a victim. Thing is I really want to do the photo.should I go ahead and do it?Some members think mom might be upset that he is missing.(sorry so long)

[Marie]

Maybe try to tell him that it would make mom really happy and it's for her. It's not about all the fighting stuff.

If he refuses, I would probably still do it. We had something similar happen in our family too (for different reasons) but my mil did miss not having my bil in the picture but she loved the pic anyways. We did another one a few years later with him in it.

If he can't move on, I would let him be. If he wants to pout in the corner and sulk, there isn't much you can do about that and just leave him there. Sounds like you've already tried to talk to him and he's just being real childish right now. :(

[jeannie]

I did tell him that my mom would be dissapointed that there is kids missing. We are seven in all. His response."my mom has not cared about me for years"

[jeannie]

I guess I just really want to know what you guys would do? It has to be done this weekend,in time for photos to be ready by mother's day. Please help. So far I have one yes. Thanks marie

[aprilstorm]

I would just go ahead and do it .....your mom will love it!!! My family is like this :(

[Cfloresgirl]

I agree with the others.Do the picture anyways for your momma!.Your brother sounds like he has some issue that hopefully can be solved sooner than later...

[jeannie]

I am kind of bum out because I am afraid my mom will reject it. She is so unpredictable that I do not know what she is going to say. This brother already acts like he is not part of the family anyway so maybe she won't notice. my younger brother is leaving next week and this is the last chance we have. So thanks for comments I really hope I make the right choice.

[jeannie]

I am wondering what you would do?

[KellyKS]

I would still have the family picture taken without him, especially if everyone else is willing to do the picture. Maybe he will snap out of it and do a family picture sometime in the future. Besides he has his mind made up and that shouldn't ruin it for everyone else.

Good Luck, let us know what you end up doing.

[aprilstorm]

I would take the picture and give it to my mom. Don't let your brother spoil it..if he doesn't want to be in it well..it is his loss.

[jeannie]

Thanks I am going to talk to the rest of the family members and see what they say?

[brezarenee]

Does your brother not get along with your mom too? Or are there just issues between the sibs? If it's just between the sibs, maybe you could try him from the angle of this picture is for mom and you love mom so put away all the pettiness with your siblings for one day and do it for dear mom. Might work. If he still just refuses, I'd go ahead with the picture without him. Maybe when he sees the picture he'll realize what a fool he is being and want to take a new and complete family picture for next mother's day.

I've never even heard of a wedo! Is that like guero? Or more offensive?

[nineten]

Give him one last chance to say he'll be included in the picture. If he says no, then tell him he can later explain to all as to why he's not in it. 'Flash!'

[RMJM30]

Hope you went through with your family picture. Luckily I don't have any sibling like that but I can imagine how it could be having to walk on egg shells. And possibly the reason he is the way he is "is because he's not truly happy with his life"