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AGJB
04-11-2008, 08:05 PM
Hello my I2US friends,

I have had a migraine for the last 5 days. I've hardly ever had headaches - now I've had them so bad that I can't even see - I have to try really hard to focus, but everything remains a painful blurr.

At work, I maintain nolmacy and am very pleasant, but once I'm out I turn into my currently "real ugly self." I am very angry - angry at this country, angry at my husband (though I don't express this to him) and I am increasingly snappy, aggresive, very little patience - just plain volatile.

This weekend I snapped at the Immigration Officer at the Tijuana border. She gave me s**t b/c I presented a copy of my birth certificate and my son's orginal BC - she claimed my BC was a counterfit - she went on to say if you photocopied a $10 bill and attempted to pay with the photocopy at a store - they can prosecute me for attempting to pay with a counterfit. I replied "I've been coming through this border for over 3 years and not once has the copy of my bc ever been a problem." Her reply is well if you don't want the hassle then don't cross the border. Then I replied "Well now you're just being rude - I'm not trying to steal or buy anything I'm trying to go home and get to work." I pulled out an original from my trunk - slammed it shut and handed it to her. She looked at it, said thank you and gave it back to me. I said nothing and drove off.

I don't like the new me and have finally decided that I need to seek therapy and anger management. Aside from the immigration brick wall we've hit - everything else in life is good - Beautiful son, great job, good home...

I love my husband, but just can't see a future together anymore and I feel terrible about that.

My anger is just eating me up alive. :cry:

Auntlily
04-11-2008, 08:34 PM
:cry:I don't have words for you...I'm just going to cry with you.

I'm so sorry!!

lily

Laura
04-11-2008, 08:45 PM
I'm so sorry G... I hope the therapy helps. There are no solutions or words really for your struggles.

tasksgirl
04-11-2008, 08:57 PM
Wow.. Just know that your anger is totally understandable in your situation.. I can only imagine..! I always say that all anger really comes from pain..

It is good that you are seeking therapy.. I hope it helps.. Maybe you guys can find another plan .. Canada?



:hug:

AGJB
04-11-2008, 09:22 PM
Thank you all for your comments.

We have a plan - I would do the weekend commute to TJ and stay at my job for another 2 years (my boss retires at that point). At this time I would pay off my remaining school loans and save even more aggresively. We distribute TV feeds and so on all over the world - my boss is saying he can get me a job in either Mexico (at Televisa??) or a sister TV Station or distributor in Canada.

My son is 3 years old and is constantly tugging at hubbie's hand when it's time to head home to the US. He'll say "Vente Papi - Come on let's go." It breaks our hearts but I've told hubbie that we have to be strong. It's just a constant struggle.

Something's just got to give...

Laura
04-11-2008, 09:33 PM
You can do two years!!! That is an awesome plan! Two years will fly by - you will get international work experience, be able to be together... You just have to get there. I know you can make it.

aprilstorm
04-12-2008, 02:35 AM
I'm sorry !!! As laurafern11 said...2 years will fly by. Don't give up...stay strong.