My M-I-L vent

[RMJM30]

Hello everyone I would just love to share the lovely experiences my mother in law puts us through..... Ever since I have been with my husband everything that my mother in law is involved in is about money. a year after marriage me and my husband decided that it was in our best interest to move in with my parents since 1) we didn't know where this immigration process was going to take us 2) because my parents really truly needed the help.
Growing up my family always had struggles financially. We would go days without electricity. My mom at one point had to do food stamps we had hand downs as far as clothes was concerned but we were a family and we stuck together besides the fact. My parents never told us they loved us but we knew they backed us up 100% and were there and have been there for us through the twist and turns lives throws at us. Even now facing the immigration process and the current seperation from my husband my mom and dad have given encouraging words and my dad has traveled with me to visit my husband so I wouldn't go alone. I know I can count on them emotionally at the drop of a hat. When we found out my husband was going into back log my dad gave me the strength by pointing out that atleast he did not receive the ban. they have helped me take care of my children since birth and even if they can not help financially they are the first to give encouraging words.
My husband's family on the other hand is CRAZY!!! My mother in law has always done what she can to give them name brand stuff. Everything involves expensive gifts and so forth. She currently is not in speaking terms with my sister in law and my husband is currently in Mexico and the youngest my brother in law (17 yrs of age) is going through rehab and yet she doesn't understand where they went wrong. 1) because you don't show your kids emotions and encourage them. 2) she's to busy worrying about money and how to make more of it..... I know money doesn't make you happy. Having it and living comfortable wouldn't hurt but still money is the root of many problems.... Either way since my m-i-l has 3 houses in Mexico she told my husband don't work take care of my houses collect the rent from those houses and you'll be ok. She pressures my husband into what "SHE" wants him to do. If he doesn't do it right she bashes him. She's never backed them up in any decisions and if you owe her money she will be on you until you pay it back. When my husband was going to Juarez we had to ask her to help us out and he would repay her when he returned. Well of course she flipped out when he was back logged but not because he was going to be seperated from his wife and kids but because he owed her money and how was he going to repay her.... I right now barely get by to make ends meet for my family if not I would for sure pay off the debt we have with her but I think wow money is more important than your son?! That's odd.... I have 2 older sisters and 1 younger brother and we are so tight... We have family dinners once a week and we chit chat and my husband has on more than one occasion told me that he would give anything to have a relationship like that with his parents and siblings. My husband is currently staying with one of my m-i-l's brother and my m-i-l has the nerve to interrogate her s-i-l about my husband's in's and out's if he drinks; does he leave at nights; does he stay out late so forth something that not even I as his wife have doubts or worries about!!! My husband finally blew up yesterday and told her exactly how he felt. And all she could say is I will never forget the way you talked to me.... And she even had the nerve to tell him I'm not a fake!!! I can't be affectionate. I can't be nice or encouraging that's not my style. I love you guys in my own way. So my husband told her which way is that?! And she told him the only reason I have worked so hard and have grown my money is for you all but you guys don't appreciate nothing. But I told my husband I would give up any amount of money to keep my poor humble parents that I know love me and have been there for me through the good and the bad. I don't even know what to tell my husband he's stressed with our seperation and on top of that all this drama with his mom.... I had told him to stay with my g-ma but he wouldn't listen to me he wanted to go to his home town and get into this mess I guess. What would you do in my circumstance what would you recommend your spouse to do? I really don't want to add any more burden to my husband but I'm glad he finally stood up to his mom and put her in her place because there was a time she started medelling with our money wanting to know what it was that we did with ours. Well I just needed to vent most of all because my m-i-l really ticks me off.....

[Auntlily]

:devil: My MIL is lovely too!!

[monki12]

:lol: Auntlily.....


my MIL is vacationing with us for a week :pullinghair: my husband becomes an idiot around her. he gets on my nerves more than he would when she isnt here. My problem is different rm...my MIL is super affectionate with hubby. he babies him, its awful. it makes me feel like a bad wife because i dont do EVERYTHING for him. I would let your hubby resolve this his own way. I dont want to get in the way of him and his mom, no matter how "weird" the relationship is. Some people are affectionate in different ways. And, although, it kills us (the DIL) those lovely :sarcasm2: ladies are still their mothers......and i for one dont want to encourage my hubby to distance himself from his mom-----no matter how awful she is.......:innocent:

[jessfs8]

I wonder why mothers in law have to act this way with their kids, maybe one day when my son grows up I will be the same way, lol. I don't talk to much with my mother in law because I am afraid to say something that might offend her, I speak spanish fluently but since my family is from Puerto Rico and hubby is from Nicaragua a lot of my words are offensive (and viceversa) to him although he already knows but his mom doesn't so I avoid talking to her. What I don't like is the fact that she always defends them and will not accept the fact that they messed up. My hubbies sister in law cheated on my hubbies brother about 5-6 years ago, he decided to forgive her and moved to the US with her. A few months ago she found a condom wrapper in HER suv. She comfronted him and he said that he let his friend borrow the car and he didn't know what happened. He told my hubby that he had been with another woman and his wife found the wrapper. When my husband called his mother in Nicaragua she asked him if he knew what happened with this brother and his wife and hubby said yes, he cheated and that was wrong for him to do, her answer (believe it or not) was, well she did it first, so because she did it first it's ok for him to do it back (not to mentioned is not the first time he's cheated) but my dear MIL said that's what she get because she cheated on him first. Can you guys believe this? I asked my husband, so how many times does he have to cheat to get even with her? he knew she cheated and he decided to forgive her but I guess he hasn't forgotten about it? You gotta love her little angels but if she ever tells me something like that ......:curse:

[Glühbirne]

Sometimes in-laws are the hardest part about marriage. Fortunately, I haven't had any major issues with my in-laws and as the years go by, I've actually found myself growing quite fond of them. Unfortunately, that isn't the case with my husband and my parents. He has some issues with them, and although he gets along with them to thier face, the hate that he's begun harboring for them eats a little bit of my soul every time it rears it's ugly head in a conversation or argument.

Just remember that no matter how "bad" they are, your in-laws are the reason for your spouse's existance. Your spouse will always love them ,and for you to hate them will hurt your spouse, even if they act like it doesn't and do thier duty by always backing you up.

[tasksgirl]

I don't have these kinds of problems with my MIL she is so sweet but her sister WOW.. her sister is pretty much like your MIL sounds like.. all she cares about is money.. there's an inheritance from their mom .. she died like 20 years ago something like that .. there was some clause in the will that all the sisters had to be together to collect the money.. I think there is 4 or 5 .. well this sister is like desperate to buy off the shares of the money from everyone else so she can get the money.. because 3 sisters are in the U.S. and not going back to MX anytime soon so after decades she's desperate and I guess if she "buys" all the shares she can get the money.. I'm not really sure how it works but I just know that everyone is mad at her and she doesn't care about anything but money.. I don't know why some people get like that and then they wonder why they lost their family.. they are just very stubborn..

Could you have him go stay with your grandma now?

[jeannie]

aren't mother in laws the best! My mil is also a money hungry....person. She is always asking for money. She thinks it comes out of our *****. She is always buying things that she does not need. She has never liked me even though we have never spoken. My mom on the other hand is not money hungry,but she has never shown us any love and she always says that we are ungrateful. I would have wanted a relationship just like the one that me and my daughter have. Point is: I just accepted a long time ago that you can't change a person and they are going to be the way they are no matter what. It is their loss.