Money to his Momma

[Autumnstarr71]

Okay my husband is dragging his feet getting all the documents needed together. He has 1 BC and I understand we may need to have at least 2 BC and have asked him to contact his mother to get one. He called once about 2 months ago and she said she would send it. Nothing. I bought him another phone card to call her over the weekend never did. I told him we need to get all of this together because I want to start the papers in June. He said we need to send her at least $100.00 Why? well he said just to help her out. We never really send any money cause we never have it. It takes all we both make to pay our own bills and I would like to help the family but we just dont have it. I would just like to have other opinions on this. None of his other 10 siblings ever send anything. How could we with our bills here. What are some other opinions on this sending money to Mexico?:shy:

[Cfloresgirl]

I know it's frustrating sometimes when dealing with family and money..but I always try to remember that helping support his family is one of the reasons my hubby came here illegally in the first place!..so I just bite my tongue and let him figure it out.Hang in there girl!

[MMGCA]

I know it's frustrating sometimes when dealing with family and money..but I always try to remember that helping support his family is one of the reasons my hubby came here illegally in the first place!..so I just bite my tongue and let him figure it out.Hang in there girl!

:ditto: Very true!!!

[Autumnstarr71]

My hubby did not come here for that reason. His Dad was here in the US and sent money all the time. Well now the parents are older and I do think they need help but now, We have not one dime saved for this whole process and I think for our families sake we need to save all we can. I would love to help when we are able to. Maybe that is why she never calls or sends a letter. For the whole nine yrs we have been together.

[jeannie]

Don't even get me started. I seems like every time my hubby talks to his mom she always wants us to send money.The day my child was born she said "Congrats....blah blah....Where's the money you were suppose to send". Hello he did not send it because we had a baby that day! From what you wrote it seems like you don't have that problem. What's wrong with sending her a little money. When it becomes every paycheck then you have a problem. I explain to hubby that why should we take money away from my daughter just because she want to go to el rodeo. Your mil just seems to need a little help. I see nothing wrong with helping out a little.Or maybe have all the in laws put in like 40 bucks and that way it will be easier.

[Autumnstarr71]

Yes, that would be nice to put all the money together but none of the other siblings do. I just hope they are not upset with him because he dont send the money. I would send some but not all the time. His Daddy is lucky cause he does have a good job there. Well I just have to hang in and bite my tongue. errrrrr patience is hard for me.

[Cfloresgirl]

My hubby did not come here for that reason. His Dad was here in the US and sent money all the time. Well now the parents are older and I do think they need help but now, We have not one dime saved for this whole process and I think for our families sake we need to save all we can. I would love to help when we are able to. Maybe that is why she never calls or sends a letter. For the whole nine yrs we have been together.

Yes that is different..and not calling or writing for the reason of not sending them money would not be right on your MIL 's part.Yes you guys do need to save for the process and maybe your hubby doesn't see the whole picture of all the costs for it?!

[brezarenee]

It sounds like your hubby feels guilty about not having sent money in the past. And to send money now, but to only pay for the BC probably compounds that guilt even more. I bet he feels like it would be wrong of him to just ask his mom to go to the trouble of getting him a copy of the BC without doing something nice for her. Relationships shouldn't have to be tit-for-tat, but they often are.

Also, it's very expensive to call to Mexico from the US. My husband frequently talks to his family, but they never call us because it would be so expensive for them to make the call. It's much cheaper to call from the US to Mexico. It might not be that your MIL doesn't care to call, she might not have the money to do so. Generally what's considered a good job in Mexico is just enough to put food on the table and pay the utility bills.

[tasksgirl]

:ditto: to what brezarenee said.. let him send it just this once.. if it continues let him know that money is literally not there to send.. but I am sure he feels bad asking a favor when he has not helped in the past.. sometime you do just have to bit your tounge when it comes to the in-laws..

[mymexicanman]

GET the BC through www.actaexpress.com
(i hope thats the right www.)
this will cost u about 70 $ and for sure u will get a BC without waiting forever recieving it from mil.

[RMJM30]

It sounds like your hubby feels guilty about not having sent money in the past. And to send money now, but to only pay for the BC probably compounds that guilt even more. I bet he feels like it would be wrong of him to just ask his mom to go to the trouble of getting him a copy of the BC without doing something nice for her. Relationships shouldn't have to be tit-for-tat, but they often are.

Also, it's very expensive to call to Mexico from the US. My husband frequently talks to his family, but they never call us because it would be so expensive for them to make the call. It's much cheaper to call from the US to Mexico. It might not be that your MIL doesn't care to call, she might not have the money to do so. Generally what's considered a good job in Mexico is just enough to put food on the table and pay the utility bills.

Good sense of thought. Very true.

[Autumnstarr71]

thanks for the website. I have been looking for it.

[Luckysprite]

Autumnstarr - we used actaexpress - and paid $115 for two certificates that it took them almost 3 MONTHS to send to us.

Our case may have been out of the norm for them - but I am just letting you know of our experience with them. Poor customer service everytime my husband called and obviously we paid a lot of money to sit and wait 3 months for them to get us the actas. It held up our case almost 2 months at NVC ... as we originally ordered them back in Nov. 2007.

If it were me - I would rather send that money to my husbands mother for the trouble she may have had to go through to get actas for us - rather than pay that company to do it again!

[tasksgirl]

I'm also trying acta and I will let you know how it goes! But for me it was $160 because I ordered alot of copies.. without the copies it would have been $100 still... so if you are going to be sending money I guess it's better if family can use it..

[Ponchetta]

This is something I think we all face if you are married to a Hispanic person. They are very loyal to their families, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, my husband and I have decided that family is family, but the most important thing is he and I. If sending money is going to hurt you and your spouse, don’t send it. You did not marry his mother. You married him, and he married you and not your family. It took a couple of months for my husband to grasp that concept. I love my family very much, but I don’t expect my husband to love them the same (vice versa). Therefore, we sat down and discussed what was important to us, and it is not keeping up each other families. Our commitment is to us and not them. However, I am not saying that families do not need help from time to time, but not every pay check. Hope that this will help you out. Ask him, how he would feel if your family needed the money. Would he be so agreeable to send the money to them? If so, send the money (but don’t if it is going to take food off the table or not pay the bills); don’t worry about the other family members, because old dogs never learn new tricks