I just got told off . . .

[emt103c]

I just got told off for answering someone's question on another web site. . .bet you can't guess which one.

The person asked for advice. I gave it. . .and I'm rude, and it doesn't matter that I apologized for hurting their feelings. . .I'm still rude. And that is all that matters.

Because all of us are supposed to contact our Senator's office when it's been four months on processing an I-130. We all have to call in the fourth month and the Senator will expedite our case for us. I'll bet then, they won't even make us go throught the NVC or a consular interview. You know, because we've waited four whole months for our I-130 to process, and that is inexcusable. No one should have to wait four months. :innocent:




*sigh*

[aprilstorm]

:bounce:

[M&M]

Oh God, they're eyes will soon be opened, don't worry!

[djones9714]

Oh this one is hilarious. Was it vj or ilw?

[Dorothea]

You can tell them it doesn't work... lol
I've even contacted the president for a pardon for my husband, and we're still waiting:rolleyes::p

[jsierra1982]

OMG!!!!! 4 MONTHS??? wow...what is the world coming to?:waiting:

[emt103c]

LOL. . .I just don't understand people. This person gets mad at ME! Then I apologized, because I know that things in writing online can be misunderstood and taken badly, she tells me that it doesn' t matter if I meant to be rude, I was rude and that was all that matters.

aaaarrrrrgh!

Thank you guys, I needed this.

She thinks SHE'S going to tell ME about waiting a long time!

[Laura]

:lol:

Don't let 'em get you down EMT...

[mayita]

You know in December, right before I filed my 129f, I typed in google "immigration" and this place (luckily) is the first place that I clicked on. Since then I have cheated once =) and went on other sites to see what I could find out and, well, it wasnt much. People were fighting and leaving awful comments RACIAL comments!! I couldn't believe it. Since I've been on here I've seen nothing but people who try to help each other and are always patient. Even when newbies(like I once was) ask questions that have been asked a million times or seem silly to some.

[djones9714]

Okay, I read the post. You were not rude nor did your post intend to be rude. If simply stating the facts are rude, then we are all at fault. Sometimes people just can't stand the truth. In that case, then don't ask questions if the truth is hard to bear.

Don't worry about it. This is the website that will always stand out as giving open and honest information.

[emt103c]

I am glad I found this site too. I am always sending people here, especially for the waiver section. The people on other sites really can be condescending, and mayita you're right about the racial comments and I would add judgemental comments. I like it here because no one seems to judge. It's a much better environment for education and that is what I'm here for. I have learned SO MUCH here.

Thank you djones, I was just not wanting to mention any web site names or anything.

[losguerra]

I also don't think you came off as rude in that post. She, however, is quite the feisty one....

[nineten]

If I get pounced on, I just pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep on truckin'.

I'm well aware that people don't always see things from all angles and no matter how much you try to reason or explain facts , the more you try, they never quite get it because they aren't open-minded enough and will read into it what they wish irregardless. What's rude to one isn't rude to another. Depends on the thickness of the skin.

[LilB]

I also don't think you came off as rude in that post. She, however, is quite the feisty one....

Yup, I agree, losguerra. I read it too. As I was reading, I was thinking, "where was she even rude? I don't see it." You weren't being rude. Not even informally rude. You weren't even implying it! Then I saw her responses. Wow. Just shrug it off, girl. There's no point in focusing time on trying to get them to reason. She's prob just being herself. Don't let a headache come about because of it. There are better things out there to read and others out there such as me value your opinion more than you may think :wink:. Just let her have the last word and move on.

Luv ya, EMT.

[angela256z]

I don't know where the post is, but I am sure you were rude. I have had people totally go off on me on Yahoo answers. People who like to cruise think they know more than the people that sell them.

[LilB]

...but I am sure you were rude.

Did you mean weren't, Angela? :)

[JennyM]

Is angela being fiesty?! LOL

[losguerra]

And whether the person being dealt with is using intellect or emotion. Two different types of thinking and dealing with issues.

I would say it comes down to being sensitive about what effect your words have on others, whether they are intellectually-driven or emotionally-driven. There is a time and place for both, but always in the right context.

Online, it's often easy to disengage from the people involved because we're kind of anonymous, but it's just like in real life - there are people with feelings here, and they can be hurt or lifted up by our words.

[emt103c]

That is why I apologized, even though I did not think that I had said anything wrong, I know that email/postings can be misunderstood.

I felt bad until I went back and read her old posts and saw the trend of things she said to people in the past. . .then I decided that I didn't need to feel bad anymore.

She has some very strong opinions on other people's immigration status. . .

[emt103c]

I don't know where the post is, but I am sure you were rude. I have had people totally go off on me on Yahoo answers. People who like to cruise think they know more than the people that sell them.


:cry:

[Laura]

:cry:

Wow... I'm sure Angela meant to say you "weren't" rude... Angela! where are you?!

[chilanga]

:cry:

Don't feel bad emt... In fact I think you should get a cape and a superhero suit for your new status as 'captain obvious'. We here at I2US can be your loyal sidekicks! :thumbup:

I have an idea for what the responder can be... but I have a feeling it wouldn't be appropriate to post! :devil:

[angela256z]

Wow... I'm sure Angela meant to say you "weren't" rude... Angela! where are you?!

OMG!! I totally meant you were NOT rude. Oh geez that sounded so horrible and inconsiderate.

[angela256z]

I am sorry EMT. I did not re-read what I was writing.

[nineten]

@losguerra post #12

Sometimes there ultimately can be much humor in the way people(consciously or unconsciouly) conversationally chat. One of the strongest tools we've got is to listen to the perspectives of everybody.

A think versus a feel person's temperament would be like the following, for example:

"Your analytical, cold approach to this issue doesn't take into account the human element."

"Your emotional involvement with this issue obscures your ability to see things objectively."

If a person says 'feel' instead of 'think' and are feeling instead of thinking, they might not be convinced with reason.

Then there is the politeness phenomena.

I think it's good form to start off a statement or explicitly state within the chat, "I don't mean to be rude to you...or...."I don't mean this to be offensive..." is powerful and wise.

When it's included in a discussion or a remark, the speaker will mitigate what might be taken to be offensive. What is interesting is normally we don't take offense when something like this is used. Like there's some sort of social convention among us that legitimitizes our using them. I guess that is a duty on the part of the speaker. But the speaker still has a responsibility or a need to say what s/he says. and many times no matter what you say, the other party will still think you're rude sometimes because of the soft way, touchy-feely, that they tend to think about things.

Sometimes being blunt/factual is only dircetly saying something and the listener takes that as rude when it isn't.

I've no clue what the exchanges were between the OP on the other site; therefore, I can't give any opinion as to whether it sounded or was indeed taken as rude by the other person.

If a fact was stated, and it's a fact, then I wouldn't take that as rude, not at all. But not everybody is the same and that's why I said earlier that to listen to all perspectives makes for a better understanding, if all will listen, some you can't reason with after they've taken one stance on an issue.

[emt103c]

I am sorry EMT. I did not re-read what I was writing.

:bleh: Angela, It's all good, I knew what you meant. . .just thought it would be funny given the original post. LOL :-) :thumbup:

Yay! Captain Obvious, yes, I guess that's me, rude and apparently a superhero, I guess Captain Planet is my bro!

Thank you all, I feel much better. What's funny is, she told me I was rude and my feelings got hurt. . .too tender about stuff.

[madrika]

i don't see how it would make her look childish...she is trying to fix a misunderstanding........she said something that was perceived in a way she did not mean it to be and she feels obligated to make herself heard the way she meant.....and in an adult fashion
in my book that is called maturity and the other person is being childish

[ojos_de_alicia]

OK i wouldn't go so far to say that it makes anyone who is trying to apologize and explain themselves as being childish
but i would say explain what u feel u need to explain to get the point across not everyone understands or interprets things the same way..

[JennyM]

If you send emails and emails to someone trying to "validate themselves" AFTER a post is closed that is childish....

[jeannie]

Where is the post? I want to see it. okay seriously I learned a long time ago that even when you don't say nothing you offend someone. I try so hard to not offend anyone.And sometime people get offended anyway. I don't like the feeling I get when someone gets hurt by me,but if you didn't mean it,then what can you do? Don't stop thinking the way you do because somebody doesn't like it.

[ojos_de_alicia]

well..like many and I have said

"not everyone understands or interprets things the same way.."

what you think may be childish others might not and im posting my opinion that I don't think its childish That's in my eyes.. BUT we don't all think the same:wink:

[Laura]

There are conversations going on here about multiple things... it would probably be better if we just left it alone and moved on.

[nineten]

This is only my opinion after carefully scrutinizing the exchanges. This isn't meant that I'm taking either side....I only wanted to look at the issue for the way I think it really is. (I can be wrong, of course and correct me if you feel so.)

The exchanges certainly are relative to what losguerra and myself have relayed about the typed word and it also applies to the real world everyday life as well, we all know how things are taken wrong and/or miscontrued in meaning. We still, like I said, have to realize we may be dealing with a person that is thinking more emotionally than intellectually. Intellectually would have construed the response to be factual, direct statement, nothing more, nothing rude.

In this case, the OP asked a question on an open discussion board. There's going to be a myriad of answers and we all know that we must not be thin-skinned because there will always be responses we don't like, don't suit us, wasn't what we wanted to hear, ....blah, blah, blah. That's a discussion board for ya and we must be prepared to receive any kind of response because we have no control over them.

The OP had an emotional issue going on.

She was already sad and frustrated by the time frame of her situation.

This was underlying anything said or questioned by her.

Another responder gave a one line answer and then came back and apologized that it sounded rude. Why? Why did a direct answer sound rude? It wasn't. Maybe that one just thought that the one liner was too 'direct' and wasn't 'soft' enough. That was considerate of them to come back and apologize whereas I didn't think it was necessary. It was only a direct answer and another chimed in that it wasn't rude. (Here we go, see, more opinions which can vary.) Who thinks it's rude and who doesn't can often cause a lot of controversy. Argh!!!

OP admits she's sad.

emt103c makes a reply with a factual statement (as far as we know it's a fact, that's not the point here though). She uses the word "waiting" and also 'explains' that it's going to be a marathon which again is only stating that it takes 'time.' To be patient.

The OP has read more into emt's statement than was there and retorted with a snappish answer. Why?

Because the answer she received 'touched a nerve.' (My opinion.)

The OP expounds on her 'waiting time.' This pretty much tells me right here the OP is very frustrated with the process, has been for a long time, and right now unless somebody can wave a magic wand, she's not going to feel better until she receives the answer she wants to hear irregardless of who gives it to her and how it's said.

She just isn't wanting to hear about the 'waiting game' because that is what is eating her up right now...emt's response hit that nerve because it was a factual response and the OP doesn't want to have to accept this inevitable time frame she's caught in.

emt103c wasn't rude....she apologized.....which she really didn't have to do.....................

We never know what others are really feeling on the other side of the screen. As said before, people think with intellect or emotion. I think the OP was thinking emotionally when she responded that she was sorry for bringing up the subject.....

she's sorry because she didn't get the answers she wanted.

With that said, she posted a question, emt10c (and others) gave a response, not rude, only factual, and she couldn't handle it because she's already frustrated.

emt103c absolutely did nothing but answer a question without any sign of rudeness.

[Brisa6]

You never said which site you were at?