Little joke for the day

[angela256z]

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...

She gestured alluringly to the bartender

who approached her immediately.

She seductively signaled that he should bring
his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager ?" she asked,

softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me ? ?

I need to speak to him," she said,

running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.

"Is there anything I can do ?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message,"

she continued, running her forefinger

across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him ?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered,

"There's no toilet paper,
hand soap,

or paper towels in the ladies room."

[ratito921]

oh that's just wrong!!! lol

[lexidoodle]

An ending I wasn't expecting. Very funny.:bounce:

[jsierra1982]

hehehe (or should i say jijiji...)

[Pinkpig]

Funny, I think I might use this the next time. The thing is that this is the place that the employees use as well. Do they keep their TP, soap and towels in a secret place or are they exiting the room without using these amenities as well.

[angela256z]

Funny, I think I might use this the next time. The thing is that this is the place that the employees use as well. Do they keep their TP, soap and towels in a secret place or are they exiting the room without using these amenities as well.
Eww that is so gross to think about.

[dduran]

That's grossss! Here's one I rec'v.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School :

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.

[Pinkpig]

Dduran, good one!

[cindy101]

all right... I'll toss in a blonde one since I'm a red head

A hard days work Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, Then moved on to the next street,
working furiously all day without rest, One girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work,
but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it
up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it Probably looks odd because
we're normally a three-person team. But Today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

[dduran]

that sound to blond, funny

[angela256z]

That's grossss! Here's one I rec'v.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School :

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.

all right... I'll toss in a blonde one since I'm a red head

A hard days work Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, Then moved on to the next street,
working furiously all day without rest, One girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work,
but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it
up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it Probably looks odd because
we're normally a three-person team. But Today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

These are both so funny. :bounce: