STUPID husband.......

[Dorothea]

I am so annoyed at my husband. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
For anyone who doesn't know, we are only able to talk about 2 or 3 times a week.
Well, we talked for a few minutes on Saturday but he had to go to work, so it was short. He said he'd call me Sunday.
Well Sunday came and went. I sent him a text that bounced back to me, and tried to call him twice Sunday evening. The lines must have been bad because the calls didn't even go through.
So just a little while ago I finally got ahold of him. First thing I ask: why didn't you call me?
He just tells me this story about how he had to go set up sepakers and drive around town to announce whatever, and then in the afternoon blahblah blah... Anyway. Too busy to give me 20 minutes.
And of course he can't talk tonight, it's his work night where he unloads the veggie truck and then does deliveries to other towns.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR:angry::gaah::pullinghair: <--I don't remember that one!
Anyway, I'm so freaking ANNOYED.:bang:

[epm525]

Oh Dorothea. Men. AUGH!

When are you going to visit next?

[JennyM]

hee hee Thea, its okay....it happens, you'll talk to him soon.

[Dorothea]

hee hee Thea, its okay....it happens, you'll talk to him soon.

I know, but what the HECKKKKKKKKKKKK:waiting:
I'll get over myself in a little while.
Epm, I hope some time this summer. My mom hinted that they'd perhaps buy me plane tickets as a graduation gift, but I don't know when I will have a chance. Or when I will be able to go without coming back with a broken heart.

[mouse7r]

AW Im sorry-- men are well just men sometimes :) Hopefully you guys will get to talk for more than 20mins soon!!!!!!

[jolantarenee]

Listen.... Do not stress it is not worth it.. They are different than us, not all the men have a need to be constantly in touch with you, but that absolutelly doesn't mean they don't love you or do not care about you. Try to explain how you feel about this ina calm and nice way rather than getting frustrated. Also, do not accuse him of anything unless you have facts. These kind of things threaten relationship. When you are living apart you have no choice but trust him until you have a proof that you can't trust him anymore.I do understand how you fell about "no call" days, etc. It happens... I just let it go, and later I FEEL BETTER because I did not show him my frustration WHILE I was feeling upset. Do talk about this w/him because it bothers you, but only when you are not emotionally charged, bc u may say words you will later regret.

[djones9714]

Dorothea: You need the trip so definitely go.

Just remember: time apart can break a heart but time together can mend a broken heart.

[epm525]

My mom hinted that they'd perhaps buy me plane tickets as a graduation gift, but I don't know when I will have a chance. Or when I will be able to go without coming back with a broken heart.

Awww...that's really sad. You're story is so sad and I'm always so impressed with how you two hang in there.

[Dorothea]

Listen.... Do not stress it is not worth it.. They are different than us, not all the men have a need to be constantly in touch with you, but that absolutelly doesn't mean they don't love you or do not care about you. Try to explain how you feel about this ina calm and nice way rather than getting frustrated. Also, do not accuse him of anything unless you have facts. These kind of things threaten relationship. When you are living apart you have no choice but trust him until you have a proof that you can't trust him anymore.I do understand how you fell about "no call" days, etc. It happens... I just let it go, and later I FEEL BETTER because I did not show him my frustration WHILE I was feeling upset. Do talk about this w/him because it bothers you, but only when you are not emotionally charged, bc u may say words you will later regret.

I trust him, so that's not an issue... I know he's not doing something bad, he's just busy. Thanks for your kind words!

[angela256z]

I am so sorry Dorothea. I hope that you are able to go visit him this summer.

[djones9714]

Dorothea: Compromise is the key to a long marriage and I am sure you already realize that because you have a strong marriage. But look at it this way: How would he feel if you gave up a "free" opportunity to come and visit him? Reach deep down and you will find your answer as to what you should do.

It is always depressing and sad when us women want to talk and the men act like they don't want to take the time. Women can find anything to talk about but not men. My husband after 32 years is the same -- and we live together in the same house.

You already know what you will do!

[TorresSanchezKing]

:hug: I'm sorry that he hasn't been able to talk, but it sounds like you know that he really loves you. So as frustrating as men typically are, hang in there! And remember, "Men--can't live with them, can't kill them without having to hide the body!" :D

[slvjvm922000]

dorthea i am so sorry that u are going thru this right now. It is so hard to be so far away. U are so strong girl. He will call u soon dont worry.

[nineten]

Sometimes when we ourselves not real occupied we become very anxious and impatient when waiting on something. He was probably busy and timing didn't coincide. Would it be easier to deal with if you guys set up a time schedule to try to call each other so there'd not be any disappointments when calling randomly?

[2004mms]

Oh, Dorothea! Its ok to be frustrated. Geez, you stay so upbeat the majority of the time and your situation is, by no means, a walk in the park. Hang in there, but if you can, do go and spend a few days with him. It will do both of you a lot of good. I bet he gets pretty frustrated sometimes, too. Men just don't like to show it or admit it.

If it will help, I only get to talk to my hubby once a week (twice once in a blue moon) and one time he was very sick and hardly had a voice, so he explained, as much as he could, that he could not talk very long and as soon as the call ended, I burst into tears and was so angry with him because he couldn't try to hang on a little longer. Knowing that he had to get out in the bad weather to get to a phone to call me. And since he has been gone, he has never missed a call. He has even rode his bicycle to another rancho in the middle of winter to find a phone because the lights were out in his rancho, yet, I still got my feelings hurt because he was sick and could not talk! So, believe me, it is normal to be frustrated. Just vent and release the frustration because you. definitely, don't complain much and it has to come out one way or another. Girl, you are human. Scream, holler and yell at the top of your lungs. Just, please, don't let anyone see you. A suggestion, in the car while driving down an empty road works real good.

Happy screaming!! Bye!

[Dorothea]

Sometimes when we ourselves not real occupied we become very anxious and impatient when waiting on something. He was probably busy and timing didn't coincide. Would it be easier to deal with if you guys set up a time schedule to try to call each other so there'd not be any disappointments when calling randomly?

That's exactly it. :blush:
It's pretty impossible to set up a regular schedule. We have days we usually talk- Tuesday and Friday or Saturday but it's pretty regular that they get messed up or moved around. And the time is always different, depending on him working. He works two jobs that are always very up in the air. He delivers veggies (so has to go whenever a delivery needs to be done), and last week he just started helping a guy work at "events" setting up the sound system, etc. (Don't even get me started on this new "job!"! lol) There is really NO schedule for that job.
Ah men... Torres, you said it best!;)

[Dorothea]

Oh, Dorothea! Its ok to be frustrated. Geez, you stay so upbeat the majority of the time and your situation is, by no means, a walk in the park. Hang in there, but if you can, do go and spend a few days with him. It will do both of you a lot of good. I bet he gets pretty frustrated sometimes, too. Men just don't like to show it or admit it.

If it will help, I only get to talk to my hubby once a week (twice once in a blue moon) and one time he was very sick and hardly had a voice, so he explained, as much as he could, that he could not talk very long and as soon as the call ended, I burst into tears and was so angry with him because he couldn't try to hang on a little longer. Knowing that he had to get out in the bad weather to get to a phone to call me. And since he has been gone, he has never missed a call. He has even rode his bicycle to another rancho in the middle of winter to find a phone because the lights were out in his rancho, yet, I still got my feelings hurt because he was sick and could not talk! So, believe me, it is normal to be frustrated. Just vent and release the frustration because you. definitely, don't complain much and it has to come out one way or another. Girl, you are human. Scream, holler and yell at the top of your lungs. Just, please, don't let anyone see you. A suggestion, in the car while driving down an empty road works real good.

Happy screaming!! Bye!

Once a week! Your post reminds me how lucky I am that Elias moved into town for now. Up where his parents live there is no cell service. His parents put in a house phone last year when I went to live there, but they can't afford to put credit on it, and lots of times noone is home.
Atleast now if I really need to talk to him I can call his cell...

[ojos_de_alicia]

oops well i totally missed this thread lol.. typical of me!!!


anyways i understand how frustrated you must of been... sometimes i think men are such dorks.. i swear if i ever have a boy i will teach him to be on time.. call when hes supposed to and say what hes supposed to... so many guys just "don't get it" hugs!

[angelito21]

I am so annoyed at my husband. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
For anyone who doesn't know, we are only able to talk about 2 or 3 times a week.
Well, we talked for a few minutes on Saturday but he had to go to work, so it was short. He said he'd call me Sunday.
Well Sunday came and went. I sent him a text that bounced back to me, and tried to call him twice Sunday evening. The lines must have been bad because the calls didn't even go through.
So just a little while ago I finally got ahold of him. First thing I ask: why didn't you call me?
He just tells me this story about how he had to go set up sepakers and drive around town to announce whatever, and then in the afternoon blahblah blah... Anyway. Too busy to give me 20 minutes.
And of course he can't talk tonight, it's his work night where he unloads the veggie truck and then does deliveries to other towns.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR:angry::gaah::pullinghair: <--I don't remember that one!
Anyway, I'm so freaking ANNOYED.:bang:

Did you let him know how you feel? My husband did that to me once. When we talked I would usually tell him when was the next time I would call him (normally every other day) and 2 of the times I called he wasn't there. So I told him I wasn't going to call him any more...if he wanted to talk to me or ask about his daughter, he could call me and IF I had time AND calling cards, we would talk. He NEVER did that again....trust me, it works. You need to set him straight and give him a piece of your mind!

[tasksgirl]

So he does have a cell phone? Are there ways you can work it out to get better ways of communication? What if you send them a bit of extra money to set up an internet or to put more credit on their phone? It would be worth it to be able to talk to him more.. I would go crazyyyy not being able to talk to hubby.. when we were long distance before we would talk online for hours and play games online.. and we would text message throughout the day as well as call eachother at night.. if hubby is backlogged I already plan on putting him up in his own apartment because I know I couldn't deal with him being with family.. sharing a house with 10 people no privacy not being able to talk.. no internet.. No way we could handle that!! I even plan on sending his xbox down there so we can play together on xbox live :P

[Dorothea]

He lives in town in an apartment by himself so that he doesn't have to drive 1.5 hours each way to work. Neither of us have any money, so paying for a phone line, internet, etc isn't a possibility.
I'm a full time college student living on my student loans, which are just about gone, so this is just the way it is for now. Once I'm working again paying my phone bill wont be such a problem, but for now spending the $80-100 each month on long distance is about all my wallet can take... Sadly, I can barely even handle that...
If he buys a $10 phone card for his cell phone and calls me that gives him about 10 minutes of talk to the US. Keep in mind that $10 is an entire 12 hour days pay for him, so he rarely if ever has credit on his phone. I can still call him tho.
And he goes to the caseta when he has a chance so we can talk on the webcam once a month or so, but it's not easy to make our schedules match...

Anyway, it's okay. We just make it work one day to the next. Being mad about it only gets me more frustrated, so I typically just take what I can get. If we have a day where our phone time gets messed up he always makes it up to me, so it's no biggy.:)

[aprilstorm]

Ah the phone calls.......when hubby first went back there was a time when I called at our arranged time and he wasn't there..I was SO sad and upset...but when I went to visit him I went around his job with him and I saw how it happens.

You do need to go visit..I know it will be sad when you leave but it will also be one of your best memories!!! BIG HUG!!!!:hug: