How many people financially support their husbands in Mexico?

[angelito21]

I allowed my husband to take money from our account the first couple of months and that was it. I couldn't afford to do it anymore. Plus I felt I had all the financial responsibility here and my daughter to take care of. He just had to get a job. How do you feel about the hubbies working in Mexico? My husband has been working now for almost 2 months. He doesn't like it, but has no choice.

Just want your thoughts on this.:angel:

[perez782]

Well me and hubby have spoke about this before, if he gets backlog he will be staying at his gradma house and he said that he will work! I wouldn't mind helping him out, but yes I think he needs to work!

[Chapital]

Our situation is a bit different, but no my husband does not work in Mexico. I support him financially. But, he has always had 1-3 of the kids with him, so it is like paying for child care. If I were to have the kids here I would need to pay for childcare. And it is not OK with me for someone other than him to take care of the kids if he were to get a job...but that is our decision. If we had no kids or had decided to have me take care of the kids here in the US I am sure he would be working. As it is, I almost have to force him to take out money. He is so cheap. He'd take 3 crowded buses with 2 toddlers in tow before he'd splurge for a $3 taxi. So, I do the finances and each paycheck tell him how much money I have set aside for him to withdraw.

[angelito21]

Well me and hubby have spoke about this before, if he gets backlog he will be staying at his gradma house and he said that he will work! I wouldn't mind helping him out, but yes I think he needs to work!

Thanks for responding. We talked about this too, but once he got there, he had a really hard time finding a job. Plus the jobs he applied for were so low paying. He's working now and not making much $$$, but it's enough for him.:D

[angelito21]

Our situation is a bit different, but no my husband does not work in Mexico. I support him financially. But, he has always had 1-3 of the kids with him, so it is like paying for child care. If I were to have the kids here I would need to pay for childcare. And it is not OK with me for someone other than him to take care of the kids if he were to get a job...but that is our decision. If we had no kids or had decided to have me take care of the kids here in the US I am sure he would be working. As it is, I almost have to force him to take out money. He is so cheap. He'd take 3 crowded buses with 2 toddlers in tow before he'd splurge for a $3 taxi. So, I do the finances and each paycheck tell him how much money I have set aside for him to withdraw.

Chapital - that sounds fair to me. If he's watching the kids, he's earning that money! In my case, I'm here with my daughter making all payments and paying everything on my own. I don't pay childcare because my mom watches my daughter. That's why he just had to get a job!

[Salsa2]

My hubby has been living off our tax return, but he is out of money already! I have just enough to pay the bills and childcare and rent to my sister (we are now living in her basement)! I can't send him any. He needs to get off his butt and get a job already. He hasn't really tried. He is supposed to start teaching swimming lessons. Whatever. He knows he is on his own. If he has no money, that's his problem. He spent all his money on gas being the personal limo service for his entire family (40+ people). He has our van down there and drives everyone around all the time. He acts like he can't get a job b/c he has to help out his family. Hello!! They managed fine for the past 8 years while you were in the US. I think they will be OK if you start to work!

Sorry, this is a sore spot, can you tell??

[Chapital]

My hubby has been living off our tax return, but he is out of money already! I have just enough to pay the bills and childcare and rent to my sister (we are now living in her basement)! I can't send him any. He needs to get off his butt and get a job already. He hasn't really tried. He is supposed to start teaching swimming lessons. Whatever. He knows he is on his own. If he has no money, that's his problem. He spent all his money on gas being the personal limo service for his entire family (40+ people). He has our van down there and drives everyone around all the time. He acts like he can't get a job b/c he has to help out his family. Hello!! They managed fine for the past 8 years while you were in the US. I think they will be OK if you start to work!

Sorry, this is a sore spot, can you tell??

Wow..definitely a sore spot...I dont hear you rant like that very often...the inner workings of a mexican family...my MIL is VERY dependent on my husband now too.

[angelito21]

My hubby has been living off our tax return, but he is out of money already! I have just enough to pay the bills and childcare and rent to my sister (we are now living in her basement)! I can't send him any. He needs to get off his butt and get a job already. He hasn't really tried. He is supposed to start teaching swimming lessons. Whatever. He knows he is on his own. If he has no money, that's his problem. He spent all his money on gas being the personal limo service for his entire family (40+ people). He has our van down there and drives everyone around all the time. He acts like he can't get a job b/c he has to help out his family. Hello!! They managed fine for the past 8 years while you were in the US. I think they will be OK if you start to work!

Sorry, this is a sore spot, can you tell??

I was beginning to have the same problem. However, I made it clear to my husband I was not going to support him and he would just have to find a job if he wanted to have any money. I think too he was kind of in denial about having to stay there for months, so I had to hit him with reality right over the head!

[christytorres]

Well my husband was in Mx. for 17 months..I told him in the beginning..I can not afford to send anything..I came back and found work after our first appt. back in 06..he lived with his sister and family..he had no car..but he found his way around and got him a job..earning money to buy his smokes..and well he took most of his clothes..and once in a while I would buy him a pair of pants or a pack of underware or socks..depends.the rest he did himself..he pitched in to buy food and what ever else..but he had it made..his sis would cook and do his laundry..they wash by hand..no washing machine..but he did it..sometimes when I would go he would give me $$..he paid no rent or car payment...insurance..he had no bills..plus he saved for our 2nd appt. Dec 07...I spent all my income tax paying the bills..and keeping above water...I almost drowned one time..but got back on my feet....its hard..but we got through it..

[Dorothea]

My husband has worked since before I even came back to the US. I have sent him money on occassion, a few hundred dollars here or there, but I can't right now. I'm not working, and my student loan $ is just about gone, and he knows I can't help him. He doesnt mind, and I don't mind most of the time...
If I was working full time I think I'd send him a little something now and then, but honestly, I might put the extra money into paying off bills instead.

[llanderos11]

My situation is a little different. My husband and I started a business several years ago and we are doing pretty good, thank the Lord. He accesses the money to pay for his living expenses and child support. He has 4 children and they are in school so he helps them. 2 of them are in college and he is almost supporting them because they make so little working part-time that they can't even afford their rent. The other 2 are in HS and live with the Mother (who is useless when it comes to working but that is a sore spot that we won't go into). When he had to leave for Mexico, we thought that it was going to be a few months so he really didn't look for a job. Now he is backlogged and it looks like his 6 month visit turned into 2 years. So we made a deal. When he returns, I am not going to work for several weeks or whatever I want. Then I am going to finish school as I am working on my Master's. Essentially he owes me 2 years of downtime.

My husband does work somewhat. He owns an island in Chiapas and has about 30 cattle plus fighting roosters that he attends to. In addition, he has a fishing boat and goes out fishing when there is enough to make it worthwhile. He has worked hard to have these things plus a comfortable income so I guess that he really doesn't have to work for somebody else. It is a good thing because Chiapas is so poor that he would be lucky to pull in 40 or 50 dollars per week.

But if I were in a situation that I made X amount of dollars and struggled to pay the bills, I would definitely insist that he find a job. This is a tough situation and it gets expensive. Literally it can become impossible to take care of all the finances on our end in the states.

[H Suarez]

When my husband first went to his hometown after the interview and I headed back to KY, where we lived, he went right to work. I continued my job and sent money down to build us a little house. We already had a peice of land. My husband worked to support himself and bought small things for the house. He also paid his mom for food. He only made about $80 a week starting out, but with no rent and only him to feed, it worked. I moved out of our house and in with my mother. I let our vehicles go back to the lenders becaus I couldn't afford them on my own. (The outcome of our case really ruined my credit!)

The second time around after spending 5 months down there in our house, I came back and got my old job back and a place for the kids and I to stay. I paid for an attorney and hoped that would bring him home. He worked during this period too and actually sent me $300 a couple of times to help with the bills. He saved every penny possible.

Now we are in TJ and he is with the kids at home while I cross everyday into San Diego to work. It is killing him not to be working. He feels he is not contributing but he does not understand that childcare is a huge expense. I think it's definitley contributing.

I think I would have a problem if he didn't work and didn't take care of our children. I guess it all just depends on each individual situation.

[RMJM30]

My husband is looking for work right now. He knows our situation and realizes that we need the money. His mother is actually trying to make him find a job so he can send us money but the jobs down there don't pay enough I would just be happy if he was able to care for himself. I have only sent him money 2 x because he has yet to find a job but is actively searching so he says. But since the beginning of our legal process we have been living with my parents and it has worked in our favor. We have already decided if he does not get approved we will move to a border town.

[dnatej]

Our situation is a lil different, and my hubby is actually living in a real rural area and not easy to find a job. The good thing is that he lives in my parents vacation home, and is down the street from my MIL, and they are wonderful! He of course now has our son which is a lot of help! Before he had our son he just pretty much did odd jobs for family, and the elderly, and they just give him what they might think is fair. That got him a long way, and since my parents also have a truck down there if anyone needed to go somewhere, they would always pay him like they would a taxi. I only left a certain amount of money w/him, and since then the only other time I sent him money was when we were going to get a phone installed into the home. He eats at his moms and his bros here in the US are the ones supporting them, and sending them money, and they continue to remind us that he has no need to pitch in b/c they knw what we are going thru. They knw how much help he is to his mom, emotionally and of course w/the physical work, and they also remember when they were younger and my hubby would always send them money and tons of goodies! Since they will not accept money hubby tries to help in anyway possible, and anytime I send them used clothing and shoes for the inlaws. He also stays busy during Nates nap like w/keeping the house spotless (he is a neat freak). When Nate is having fun w/his younger aunts and uncles and his cousin, then he takes the time to work on OUR house that he began building on a piece of land when we were dating! He is good w/money and only spends when necessary, becuase he DOES NOT like me sending him money, the only time he accepted was when he needed to install the phone, and now he has no choice when he runs low b/c he has nate! His odd jobs dont seem like much, but he can make chopping firewood go a long way!

[2004mms]

My hubby has a debit card that he can withdraw money in an emergency. He has done so a couple of times. He lives in a small rancho and finds odd jobs, but nothing on a full-time basis. Right now he is working construction, but it will only last about three weeks.

We are so thankful that he is staying with his father and he has two sisters here in the US that send him money to cover most household expenses every month. They even give me money for diapers (or bring me diapers) sometimes. For birthdays and Christmas they bought both boys several outfits, two pairs of shoes and plenty of toys. So I am, truly, blessed.

[Latina21]

Hello Ladies,
If you guys don't mind me asking, why were your husbands 1-601 denied? Or have a 10 year ban? I'm waiting for an appointment at CDJ and I just want to look forward on what I should put on my hardship letter.

[Chapital]

Hello Ladies,
If you guys don't mind me asking, why were your husbands 1-601 denied? Or have a 10 year ban? I'm waiting for an appointment at CDJ and I just want to look forward on what I should put on my hardship letter.

Most of us were not denied, just not granted same day approval...some for lack of harship evidence some for more background checks....

[Glühbirne]

When we lived in Juarez, I was supported both of us. About two months before we left Mr. G got a job.

Sometimes I let it bother me, but the biggest issue was with my family. They knew that I was supporting him and they could not refrain from mentioning it nearly every time I talked to them. Even my dad, who's usually as neutral as possible and tries to keep his mouth shut, said, "I could never sit back and let my wife support me and I don't know if I can respect any man that could do that."

That really got to me.

[Melmcd76]

We have both been "fending" for ourselves during the backlog. He's been gone for almost 6 months and he hasn't given me a penny. He saves all the money he earns working for his uncle to come to TJ and stay in a hotel with us.

It has gotten really expensive and we don't know if it will be possible to do it anymore. He doesn't pay for food or rent and lives with his uncle next door to the business so it has really been a blessing for us.

When he does make it to TJ for an occasional weekend together as a family, then I'll give as much as I can (~$100). But he also saved money and flew me down to Guadalajara to see him for a weekend in Feb. That was nice to see his hometown.

I wouldn't be able to support him financially unless he had both of our kids down there with him. It is a hard decision and I wish that our time apart is over soon.

[losguerra]

Well, we both have been working here in Mexico, but my husband's wages, like most in Mexico, are really sad. Even though I was working without a work visa, I was still earning more than him (a college degree goes a long way in terms of salary) working in the same career. So yeah, my earnings pay for pretty much all expenses in Mexico, and his are for any extras (clothes, entertainment).

It was not worth it to me to have my husband working for, say $2,500 pesos a month. He was much more valuable helping keep the house in order and taking care of details during the day while I worked. So for about 3 months, he didn't work and focused on finding a decent job. It took a long time, and I know he wasn't just dragging his feet. This country is not the US, it's really hard to just pick up decent employment... :(

[2004mms]

Glub, (sorry, I forgot how to spell the rest of your name)

I know what you mean about comments from family members on this issue. What really ticks me off is that they aren't even helping me. In fact, some are actually, even taking advantage of me but I'm too worn out to even take up for myself, yet, they still have the nerve to make comments.

I could understand if he was in a part of Mexico that had some half-decent full-time jobs available. But he lives in a small village that has absolutely nothing, yet, he is so proud whenever he finds some odd job for a couple of days at a time. The only positive thing is that he has hardly no expenses (because there is nothing to buy) except for the light bill, which is not high at all because everytime it rains the lights go out and it takes days for them to come out and fix it. So that only leaves food, on which they don't splurge (he lives with his dad), detergent and toiletries.

I sent him all of his clothes so all that he buys is socks and underwear. Plus, like I mentioned before, his sisters help by sending money as often as they can. When he has a little extra he writes us letters and send cards. On a couple occasions, he has sent gifts with people that go visit from this area.

It has been very tough to make ends meet here for me. I have had to go in debt a lot more, but I have tried not to borrow from any of my family members to avoid giving them an opportunity to make comments, yet they still do it. Sometimes I feel that its because I took care of them up until I got married and now I don't. I know, for a fact, that it is my mother's biggest issue. She never wanted me to marry him in the first place. I have had to go a few quick rounds with her, but she tries to drag the rest of my siblings into it.

However, she has changed her tune since I received the denial because I told her that I was moving to a border town with him until the ban was lifted if he did not get approved on the second round and I am the only one who can put up with her and am willing to take care of her in her old age. The sad part is that my husband supports my decision to take care of her and has never disrespected her or treated her indifferent in any way, eventhough, she has been extremely hateful and rude to him in the past.

And as far as friends go, I'll just put it this way. At our baby's baptism we had over 150 guests out of 200 invitations that were sent out to close friends and family. This past year, only ten have come to visit me. Four came to offer to help and were sincere about it. Two because they felt obligated since I have helped them a lot in the past and it was so obvious that they would rather be cleaning the toilet and the other four because they needed me to help them on something and have never bothered to return again.

At one point I was sad and depressed about it, but now, I really don't even care anymore, except when I hear about negative comments that are made.

I just pray that they don't run into me on one of my bad moments.

[ojos_de_alicia]

Well before my husband was arrested by ICE he had this feeling that we needed to save money b/c he felt he would be caught and sent back... and that's exactly what happeneded so in a sense we were prepared money wise but not emotionally wise


we were not prepared to be seperated or go through this.. and we didnt chose *to have our appt in cdj and go thru this immigration mess at that time* like most on this site do but we are fine.

we saved money and only used it for things like our appt or what not.. i luckily don't need to take money from our savings to pay my bills and stuff either so that's good.

when he first went to mexico he was living in jalisco and got a job in a hotel but that didn\t last long.. so no.. he's not owrking and really didnt work more than 2 months while he's been in mexico for over 2 years. he owns his land and started working on his house for a few months and now has the structure done.. but i guess he got bored with that too.. lol

[liley99]

My husband has tried to look for a job but doesn't have anything they require. He has to have a military id, a form that he finished school and I am not sure what else. Unfortunately he doesn't have any of the documents that they require so he hasn't been able to get a job. Plus if he were to work he would be making less than $50.00 a week. Fortunately we had some money saved and that is what he is living on.

And also during the summer he will be keeping the kids with him so that I won't have to worry about daycare or camp, because for each child a week it will be about $300.00, so that is what we decided, hopefully we are more than half way through and it will be over soon.

[ncruzrangel]

My husband supported himself while he was in Mexico. I sent him money sometimes in emergencies or when I would go visit I would leave him some money if we had extra. But I think they still need a little bit of responsibility on their own which supporting themselves is not much.

[Theresa]

Well, when my husband left he left w/ about 2-3 grand and that lasted him for a good while he always told me not to worry about him cuz he didnt have bills or anything and that when he got bored he would find a job. well after a while he got a job and took care of himself. he paid his mom "rent" and helped his dad around the house. i had all 6 kids w/ me so he knew i would have it hard so he never asked for money. heck he didnt even want me to call cuz he didnt want my phone bill to be sky high and put me in debt.

[Nepthys]

When my husband is in the US he works like a dog. He often works 12 hours a day and 5-6 days a week. He never missed work. he would got to work sick because he hated to miss work. This is why I at first I didn't mind sending him money. He has always been such a hard worker I thought he deserved some time off to enjoy his family and friends that he had not seen for 12 years.


I sent my husband money for the first nine months. (Five of the months one of our little boys was there.) I supported our four kids and him in Mexico. He was living comfortably. He lived free except for food. He stayed at his mothers house and the bills were paid by the rental property he also had a little left over from the renal.

It was not until my summer break that I saw that he spent some of my hard earned money drinking with his buddies. Just traveling around. Yes it was nice that he could travel around since five of the months he had our four year old. But I was really cutting corners for him to be on vacation. I was struggling for him to have fun. Since July 2007 he has been on his own. I didn't see why I should cut out all extras for him to have more money. He still did not work but got the money for the rental property and helping his mother build her house. That was only only four months then he went to CDJ where he still lives and eats free.

[M&M]

My husband has to work or he goes crazy. I swear if he has more than one consecutive day off he goes crazy. Like seriously, I want him out of the house!

I was with him for the first month and a half when he went to Mexico. About 3 days after we got to his hometown he started working. It was field work, since he's from a rural area. They would send trucks to pickup people in the small "ranchos". Anyways, it was steady work, though he only made on average about 550 pesos a week. With that money he completely supported himself. He stayed in our little house down there that is next to his parents house. His mom cooked for him, did his laundry, etc... He gave her some money each week though and helped his dad in his fields whenever he could. He's frugal, so he can make a little go a long way. Even spending money playing pool, etc, he was able to save up close to $1000 dollars for his medical and stuff when we went for his visa pickup.