Racial Slurs

[my3helpers]

First off I am a shy and quite person and I am not very outgoing at all. My oldest is like me, but he is coming out of his shell. He came home yesterday from school and said some kid called him a "dirty mexican" for example if they are playing a game and it's my sons turn he will say dirty mexican your in or your out. Today he came home and this kid said it again at lunch. My son said that is not nice so of course this big mouth kid said it again. I am furious! It's not enough that they have not seen their dad for 14 months and now this. My son can be shy and he says it's ok and I said it's NOT okay! I plan on calling his teacher in the morning!

[arcoiris]

Call the teacher. If this kid's old enough to talk, he's old enough to learn manners. It's high time he learned some.

[SAD ANITA]

what grade is your son in>>>???? I would definatetly call the teacher tomorrow and let her know whats going on ,,,,

[tasksgirl]

Uh yeah I would be SO pissed.. definately call the school.. what grade/age is this ??

[my3helpers]

I am fuming right now! What makes me so mad is my kids would NEVER EVER say anything like this to anyone at all! My son is in the third grade so they are old enough to know it's not right and I am afraid that my son says it's ok just to keep this so called "friend"

[tasksgirl]

oh ok.. that is terrible but I am still glad it was not like high school or something..then they DEFINATELY know better.. right now they just probably think it's funny.. NOT that that makes it any better..

:gaah: stupid kid..

[djones9714]

My3helpers: You are right. Your son is probably bothered by this but doesn't want to say anything because he will probably be cast aside. I had this same problem in school with my children because they are bi-racial.

I quietly talked to the teacher one day and expressed my concerns; however, I did not want my children to be the target of further ridiculing. The teacher handled it in such a respectful way. She talked to the class about respect for all races, how to treat others kindly, not to make fun of people because we are all different and it's okay to be different and numerous other things that the kids could understand.

A majority of the kids are repeating what they hear from their own parents which is a crying shame. However, if you explain to them how their words hurt people, sometimes this does help and helps them also to be better adults.

[y14gemini]

Umm, I would not call, I would be at the school first thing in the morning. I am sorry whatever else I had to do at that time would be put on the back burner. Girl go up to that school!

[angela256z]

OMG what is wrong with him. I mean I know a third grader knows better, but he had to learn that from someone. Oh this makes me so angry. If my nephew ever said anything like that to someone I would break the backsratcher over his butt.

Call the school. He should be talked to. I hope he has the type of parents that will talk to him about it and it wasn't them that taught him that.

[my3helpers]

oh ok.. that is terrible but I am still glad it was not like high school or something..then they DEFINATELY know better.. right now they just probably think it's funny.. NOT that that makes it any better..

:gaah: stupid kid..

No it's not high school, but if I do not stop it now who knows what may happen by the time he or our three other kids get to high school. My mom works with a women and her son married a mexican women (they are divorced now) they have two kids together and they attend high school in Florida and they get made fun off. My son was homeschooled for the past two years so really this is his first year in school aside from pre-K and now I need to see how to handle it. Kids are so cruel!

[Dorothea]

That's awful... just goes to show exactly what his family is saying at home:(
I'm sorry your son has to put up with that!

[nineten]

Kids can certainly be cruel and it's sad if this boy learned this from his parents which doesn't surprise me that he might've. Hopefully the son will be able to understand that there will be always be others that will say hurtful things and that if he can still look at them in an understanding way that the boy might've learned it from his parents and the boy doesn't know any better or wasn't taught. It seems he realizes that it's not nice and when he says that then the boy repeats it. Aside from going to the school and speaking with the teacher which is the right thing to do, I'd try to help the son learn how to not let the other kid know it bothers him. He could say, "I'm in" or "I'm out" in response to the other boy when he calls him a "dirty Mexican" (if it happens again). That way he's able to at least say something without giving a smart aleck retort like the other boy, he'd still be responding but in a nice way keeping the focus on the game and not on what the boy said and hopefully the other boy will soon realize that the son isn't going to let it faze him....usually kids and adults will back off once they think somethings not bothering the other person. Just my two cents.

[jeannie]

Hell To The no! oh hell no! I would have been there right away. Obviously it is late now,but you march up to that school and don't leave till something is done.My daughter is in 2nd grade and I have already been there 3 times to speak to the teacher and the principle and if they don't listen you go to the school board!You need to teach your child that once you let someone step on him they will be stepping on him his whole life. My daughter was really quiet too. She had many bullies in kinder now she is friends with most of them because she will tell them. "it is not my fault you have a dysfunctional home, that you don't have any manners"or "you are just jealous of me" I'm so sick of people who don't educate their kids and then we have to put up with them. Your child is a good kid. Let him understand that those kids have problems at home so they come to school and take it out on the rest of us.and it is not his problem. No one is better than anyone. Sorry if I sound upset,but your kid is around my kid's age and I hate racist people.

[aprilstorm]

:ditto: with jeannie111 all the way!!!!

[jeannie]

Thanks for the support aprilstorm:rockon:

[liley99]

my3 I had an incident very similar with my daughter. She is very outgoing but doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings and some little boy made a comment to her in the 1st grade. Saying that Mexicans are stupid. She came up and wasn't upset she was just like whatever, well I told her to tell him that obviously that is not correct because you are top of the class, and he apologized and said he didn't know she was mexican, she also told him he shouldn't judge people about their skin color.

Needless to say his parents were very racist and of course he is just bringing to school what he learns at home, I think it's more about reminding our kids how precious they are regardless of the opinions of others.

But I would definitely speak to his teacher, bring light to her maybe she is not aware of what is going on.

[FloresFamilia]

Definately go talk to the teacher.

Many teachers(especially those who have been teaching a while) or principles are very skilled at handling these things in a way that corrects it without causing more problems for the child. We had this happen on the 2ND day of kinder and I couldn't have imagined a better result after talking to the teacher.

http://immigrate2us.net/forum/showthread.php?t=2135&highlight=kindergarten

[chulatica]

What a mean child that is saying that kind of racial stuff to your son. You know sometimes kids don't want to get there parents involved because they will think he a person telling. You know kids saying "snitches" which I hate that word. But this is something serious and its better to cut it out right now before something really serious happens. I say give them a call or talk to teacher and see if the teacher can get that other kids parents involved. Sometimes parents aren't even aware there kids are saying things at school.

[RMJM30]

That is crazy. How can anyone teach their children to be so ugly. But I normally tell my children to tell people that offend them "Wow you must really have a miserable life since it's obvious you don't have God in your heart!" Shut's them up quickly. My kids have been picked on in the past and I go to that school hollering. You need to teach you children not to offend but of course not to let anyone offend them. How awful. My son is in the same grade and I would hate to think there are children in his school like that. Good luck with your situation.

[Autumnstarr71]

My 7 yr old daughter came home the other day and said a little boy in her class (mexican) said "I dont like white people" my daughter said "why" and he said "cause they dont want to play with me" my baby told him well I am white and mexican and I like to play with you.
It just upsets me that children this young are already learning about racism. I am so glad my girls love to play with all kinds of children. I have raised them like that. It happens and we just have to pray for those people. Ignorance breeds racism.

[princesa]

Third grade was when my son started getting picked on and it increased to sexual harrassment. Girl definitely talk to the teacher and don't let it get brushed off. Kids can be cruel and there comes a time that you can no longer say they don't know better. They know when they are being mean. I know I talk to my children all the time about being mean and saying mean things. They are 14, 5 and 4.

[H Suarez]

My son had the same problems. He's had kids call him "*******" (that was in 1st grade BTW) "little mexican (4th grade)." Kids are cruel. They are just learning from their ignorant parents. Definitely don't let it go. Each time my son has an issue, I go right to the teacher and have spoken with the principal as well. Children need to be educated, and if they are not getting the education at home, then at least the teacher or someone at school can help. It helped my son each time.

[H Suarez]

WOW! It blocked the word that my son was called in first grade. I knew it was really derogatory, but I was just giving an example. Just shows you how bad kids can be.

[my3helpers]

My son ended up having a good day at school today. I called his teacher this morning and expressed my concern to her. I also told her that these types of remarks are not going to be tolerated as well and she completely agreed. I think in this case this boy has heard this from home or somewhere and maybe he felt it was OK to say. My son said that the boy apologized to him and the teacher told my son that if he ever says this again to go right to the teacher. After the teacher talked with the boy this morning and he said he was sorry him and my son got along like nothing had happened. They sat at lunch today and when they played the same game at recess he called him by his name and said your in or out.

[djones9714]

I am glad this all worked out. Children's minds a majority of the time are innocent until some adult puts thoughts into their minds and they think this is the way things are supposed to be. I am glad that the teacher talked to the child and he now realizes that it is wrong to do this and I am glad he apologized. It shows that he never meant to hurt him -- he was repeating what he had heard.

[aprilstorm]

I'm glad you talked to the teacher!!!

[Emily]

My3helpers, I'm glad that your son is doing ok now. I'm sure the little boy didnt understand what "dirty mexican" meant. He had to of learned it somewhere though. Sad to see such young children comming up with such ugly words:(

[nineten]

I'm happy it worked out and happier that the boys can now play well together. Hopefully the boy will return home and tell his parents how well he likes to play with your son and maybe the attitude of the parents, if that's where the remark originated from, will change for the better. That would be a good thing resulting from alll this.