Moving to Mexico

[my3helpers]

Has anyone moved to Mexico for a few months to wait with their spouse and had school aged children? If so, how did it work?

[Glühbirne]

I moved to Ciudad Juarez, Mexico for two years while waiting for my husband's process. Since Ciudad Juarez is right on the border, I commuted to the United States every day to work so that I could support us. My husband is not from that part of Mexico and my family is all in northern California, so we weren't near family.

It went okay. I was already fluent in Spanish so I didn't have to deal with language barriers. We had been married a little over two years when we moved down there so our marriage was stable enough to handle the stress at that time. It is a big city so it has most of the conveniences you find in the US, like Walmart, Cosco, plenty of big supermarkets, movie theaters, malls, etc. In a way it was a comfort to know that the US was just a few miles away, but in another way living on the border can be a mentally draining experience.

I was literaly living with one leg in each country, and sometimes I felt like it was going to tear me in half. I was supporting us by myself and my husband went to school for most of that two years. Nearly every time i spoke to my family on the phone, we would get into a nasty argument, because they did not approve of us being there. During the first year my husband would get into his nasty moods where he would talk about how much he hated Juarez and how it was my fault that we were there and he just wanted go back illegaly etc.

When we first got there, my husband had a nasty case of reverse culture shock. He was very irritable and blamed me for everything (even more than usual :rolleyes:) He suddenly insisted on speaking purely English to me (we had always spoken mostly Spanish to eachother when we were alone). He especially wanted to speak English in public, which drew attention to us and made beggers more likely to approach us, which in turn upset him more. It was a vicious cycle. I'm so glad he eventually got over it.

It was the experience of a lifetime. It helped me to learn a lot about myself, my country, and my husband and how we relate to eachother. During the second year, we were a lot better off. We knew our way around and had friends and a nice church. It's just that Juarez is so loud. On the weekends every other store has a giant speaker in front blaring music and every other house is also blaring music 'till the windows shake and the neighbors are always having parties no matter where in town you live and anyone and everyone who wants is always invited. That sort of thing really gets on my nerves sometimes.

[princesa]

I moved down there for 2 months at the beginning of this year. At that time my children were not school aged, but I am going back in September to wait with him until he gets his visa. I now have one child that is kindergarten age and we are trying to decide if we will put him in school or wait until we come back home. There are private english-based schools, but I think they are fairly expensive. Do your children speak Spanish?

[dduran]

When we went for our 1st interveiw I was scared, you know all the women killing thats gone on there. From the C. to Hotel, walked 1 block both directions. I would of like to go where the tours shopping strip is at.

[my3helpers]

As of next month we will have four kids 8, 5, 2.5 & and a new one. My kids do not speak Spanish, but I have home schooled my oldest one for the past two years 1st & 2nd grade. This year I was planning on putting him in school (3rd grade) and his sister will start Kindergarten. I guess I was just wondering how they adjusted mentally being older. The only one I am really worried about is my 8 yr/old because he hates change. If we did move I would just home school them one more year which I am sure my 8 yr old would love that since he liked being home schooled anyway. I have discussed with my husband about moving to Mexico, but he does not want to live in Juarez so we would just live in his hometown. He has been in Mexico since January and unless Juarez speeds up we maybe looking at his first interview around next June/July and he is about to crack as it is. Earlier today he told me that he did not even want to talk to me because it just hurt to bad and we basically hung up. That made me feel real good knowing I am due in 5 weeks and I am an emotional wreck as it is!

Here was my plan: The kids start school next month. So I would put them in school then the baby would be due. Then when Christmas break comes go to Mexico and finish home schooling them the remainder of the year. Come back the first of June because our visa's would be about to expire. By then my husband should have an interview date since Juarez received all of his paperwork at the end of July. Then I would fly back by myself for the interview then hopefully if he is approved through the pilot program he would come back home next summer, but not I pray the backlong will not be 9-12 months. If he would get sent to the backlong then he would have to wait in Mexico and I would come back here.

[arcoiris]

What part of Mexico are you moving to?

[princesa]

I do know that in Mexico they require 2 years of kindergarten beginning at age 4. If you decide to put them in school I would definitely look into private english-based schools since they do not speak Spanish and I think it would be much harder for them to adapt without being able to speak and understand a little Spanish.

[my3helpers]

My husband lives in Morelos.

So in Mx you cannot home school? Where my husband is from I am sure their is no English based schools.

[princesa]

I'm sure you can homeschool...I think you could still use your homeschool here in the united states...i have thought about doing that...but i don't anything about homeschooling in mexico...

[Azul y Vampy]

Well, we don't have any children yet, however, as a kid I lived in MX for 6 years. My parents are mexican, migrated to US in the 70's, my brother and I were born here, my parents got their residency with the 1986 (I think) amnesty, and then my mom decided she wanted to go back to MX in Dec 1989. I was only 7, and my brother was 4. We did speak spanish though, we actually weren't allowed to speak english at home. We lived in Cd. Neza, in Estado de Mexico, where my dad's family is. When we first got there, we didn't like it, everything was so different and dirty. Since we moved in Dec, I had to start 2nd grade in the middle of the school year, and my brother started kindergarden. My school was a private school, but not english-based. It was a small school, only one group per grade, so 30-40 students per grade. I actually liked my school, everyone knew everyone, but I had a really hard time with my classes. When I left the US, I only knew how to add and subtract small numbers, when I started school in MX, they were already learning the multiplication table for 8! Even though I spoke spanish, I didn't know how to read or write in spanish, I didn't know spanish grammar at all, which made it really tough. I would sometimes come home crying b/c I had no idea what was going on :shy: But my parents were awesome, specially my dad, he would sit with me and explain everything, and help me with my homework, and support me in any way possible. After a few weeks, I was all caught up, and I made it to the honor roll. I did so good that I got a "tuition" scholarship for the remaining years. In 6th grade, i was part of the "escolta" which is a big accomplishment in MX standards, and a huge honor to carry the MX flag when I was a US citizen. Anyway, then for secundaria, I was sent to public school. That was very shocking to me, the school was huge, there were about 6 groups per grade (50 students per group), but I survived through that as well, and got really good grades. I would say that after the first 6 months in MX, life was good. My parents managed to support us with a small 'burger' joint in el mercado. But after 6 years, after we called MX our home, my mom, once again, decided to move back to US. Coming back was the worse part. This time it was during the summer, I was 14, and was going to start HS. This experience was the worse, and the one I am the most proud of. Since we never used our english while in MX, I had a real hard time turning my english on. And as most of you are aware, kids in HS can be very mean. If you're not cool, you pretty much don't exist. I was embarassed of my english, so I would barely talk to anyone. However, I survived through those years as well, and managed to graduate in the top 10%, and get a scholarship to a private university.
Sorry to make this as long, but I wanted to get a point across. As kids, we suffered a lot moving to MX, specially since we had never been there before. We didn't know anyone, it was the first time we met or talked to my dad's family. It wasn't easy going to school there. And even though I told my parents how much I hated them for making us move all the time (really regret that by the way), I really believe that has made me a better person. I can communicate both in english and spanish without embarrassment, I can appreciate the sacrifices that my parents have made to give us the best in life, I was able to spend quality time with my relatives in MX that without me living there this would never had happen, I am able to appreciate the freedom and opportunity that I have in the US, but most importantly, I will be able to teach my children about our culture (my husband is mexican too) from my own experience, not just by what their grandparents tell them.
So I think living in MX is NOT the worst thing that can happen. my3helpers: I think for your children it will be a great experience and a good opportunity for them to learn spanish, which nowadays, it's a great advantage. I wish you the best of luck, and feel free to ask any questions you may have.

[aguilar1115]

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[princesa]

aguilar, even though the children are 1/2 mexican? When I went to Mexico the first time we were told the children did not need the tourist visa because their father is Mexican.

[ciscohiker]

I lived in Mexico for about 2 years near the city of Veracruz. We put our 3 year old in preschool it was a private bilingual school. He was on a tourist visa and that didnt seem to be an issue for us. The same school went all the way through high school.

[princesa]

azul y vampy...thank you very much for your story...I keep thinking that me moving to Mexico with our children to be with my husband opens a great opportunity for us. I can speak some Spanish and the boys are learning, but being there gives much more opportunity to be able to speak, read and write and in turn that will open opportunities for us here in the US as well.

[aguilar1115]

aguilar, even though the children are 1/2 mexican? When I went to Mexico the first time we were told the children did not need the tourist visa because their father is Mexican.

oops..my oldest three are from a previous marriage and the youngest two are half mexican. We already registered our 4 year old w/government there and he actually went to public preschool there this year from January to July w/no problem. I sent him there w/Dad when I was pregnant and needed help w/the kids while I was working. He just came back and all five are with me now. I may send him back again and our newborn so I can work full-time and not have to send them to a daycare.

[princesa]

I understand that...what did you need to do to register them with the government there?? I have not done that with our two and I want to do whatever I need to to make sure they have dual citizenship.