LIFE IN MEXICO: Adapting to Culture, Customs, Food

[losguerra]

Experts - Can offer your advice on these or any other issues related to this topic?

What are some tips for adjusting to the culture and customs?

What's in [insert name of dish here]????

How can we maintain a healthy diet on the products available in Mexico?

My husband (or wife) has turned into a different person here. Advice????

Any tips on dealing with my spouse's family in Mexico?

Can you explain why people [insert custom here]????

Advice on learning Spanish?


Have questions or advice about a different topic related to life in Mexico? Check the master list (http://immigrate2us.net/forum/showpost.php?p=148907&postcount=1) for all the threads about life in Mexico!

[tasksgirl]

We should get a section created for all your wonderful new mexico posts ! :D

[losguerra]

We have one! Laura stickied the whole list (http://immigrate2us.net/forum/showthread.php?p=148907#post148907) to the top of the General Discussions thread!

[tasksgirl]

ohhh hehe ok didn't see that

[DeBenny]

Okay...so while I was doing some research I came across this website, I checked it out... http://www.elbalero.gob.mx/kids/about/html/home.html

It is created by the government of Mexico for kids...It introduces children to Mexico; it has recipes; talks about the culture; goes over common myths and legends; games and toys; traditions and holidays. Check it out. Many of the I2US have children and we must not forget that this is going to be a drastic change for them as well. A site like this will be helpful for them to become a little acquainted to culture and traditions in Mexico. What do you all think?

[slvjvm922000]

debenny that is great we have 4 children and it took them awhile to adjust living here in mexico it was hard on them at first and our oldest one has changed so much now i dont know what to do with her.

[DeBenny]

oops...sorry guys...here is the direct link to the main page http://www.elbalero.gob.mx/index_kids.html (there is more stuff on here)

[losguerra]

DeBenny, that's a great point, and a good site, too. I'm going to also post this on the thread we made for Life in Mexico with kids!

[Glühbirne]

How can we maintain a healthy diet on the products available in Mexico?
Try to stay away from processed foods and fried snacks like Chicharones and churros and stick with raw snacks like fresh fruit with lime and chile or hot corn-on-the-cob (elote). Ask for "frijoles de la olla" instead of "refritos" when in a restaurant. Eat corn tortillas, stay away from flour tortillas. Ask for a double portion of beans rather than beans and rice. Only wander into a bakery on special occations. Don't eat pan dulce every day. Use pure canola oil (Capullin brand) and/or olive oil to cook your food. Eat plenty of boiled beans with a little bit of cheese or chile to give them some pozazz. Make sure that you buy "real" products. If the cheese says "Queso Estilo Chihuahua" for example, that means it's immitation. "Estilo XX" usually always means immitation. Read labels carefully to make sure you aren't getting immitation crap.



My husband (or wife) has turned into a different person here. Advice???? Your spouse might be experiencing reverse culture shock (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock). It's a normal phase for someone to go through when they return to thier native culture after an absence. You might be experiencing culture shock yourself, as well. Make sure to educate yourself about the normal phases of culture shock so that you will know what to expect.

[Glühbirne]

Any tips on dealing with my spouse's family in Mexico?

I was blessed with pretty decent in-laws. I know there will be personality conflicts in the future with some of my sisters and brothers-in-law, but I still feel that they are a part of my husband and for that reason I respect them and try to love them as my own siblings, the same way I want him to feel about my family.

Be respectful and try as hard as you can maintain friendly terms with them. Bite your tongue. Don't burn bridges. Don't hate them, no matter how worthy of hate they might seem to be. You have a right to demand to be #1 in your spouse's life, but you don't have a right to ask them to abandon or forget about thier family. If it weren't for your husband or wife's parents, he or she wouldn't exist. You owe them your respect, even if they do not return it. Some people are cursed with awfull in-laws, others are blessed with lovely ones, and the rest get them somewhere in between. No matter which situation you have, try with all your heart to love them. You cannot love your spouse and hate his family. Eventually things will fall apart and even though you don't realize it, if you hate his family in your heart, you are hating him and it will hurt him even if he acts like it doesn't.

[losguerra]

For those looking to learn Spanish, check out this blog (http://learningspanishblog.com/). It has a lot of helpful resources!

[inlimbo]

What a wonderful thread idea! Though I have to admit that after being here for almost a year, I STILL don't have any good answers to any of those questions!!!

Very generally speaking, I think one of the most important things for adapting to the culture/lifestyle in Mexico is to be flexible. Being very rigid or stuck in your habits is never a helpful thing for living in any foreign country.

[slvjvm922000]

well to the part of the inlaws well i still cant get along with my inlaws no matter what we do. the only time they talk to us is when they want money can anyone give me any advise how to get them to like me. I have proved to them that i love my husband so much and that i would do anything to be with him and we have been here in cdj for almost 15months and they just think the same way about me. they live in zacatecas and i told my husband why dont we pay for my motherinlaw and fatherinlaw to come visit us but he is so upset with them he dont want to talk to them. i try to get him to call them no matter what but he just wont give in any advice would be helpful. thanks

[brezarenee]

slvjvm - I find that you really have to prove yourself to the inlaws. Marrying him, having his kids, and moving to Mexico should be enough, right? Well, no. Making sacrifices for him doesn't seem to be enough. You also have to make sacrifices for the entire family. And well, I don't think just giving them money when they ask or need it is the right way to go (despite the fact that I'm constantly doing it). One way that's helping me to gain their trust since we've been married is reaching out to my inlaws myself. Often I'm the one that buys gifts to mail to them, and then my husband gets thanked, so once I actually sent a small box without my husband knowing. When they got it and thanked my husband he was all confused and couldn't get the credit. I try to write letters to do the same, so letters just from me, in my handwriting, not from the both of us. And finally, for me the most difficult, calling the inlaws when my husband is not home to chat. My advise is to find a way to reach out no matter how negative they may seem. If you're not comfortable with the Spanish over the phone, you could try the letter route. Even a letter badly translated from online sites would show that you are trying. :)

[losguerra]

Use pure canola oil (Capullin brand) and/or olive oil to cook your food.


Wow, Glu, thanks so much for all those nutrition tips! I mostly cook with olive oil, but get overwhelmed in the cooking/vegetable oil aisle because it's literally the entire length of the aisle here. I just end up buying the first cheap kind I see just so I can get outta there. Now I know what to look for. Thanks. :)

[slvjvm922000]

thanks brezarenee it is hard my hubby dont want me to talk to his family if he isnt talking to him. My fatherinlaw is a sweetheart and i would do anything for him it is my motherinlaw that is the hard one. now i know where my hubby gets it from lol. i have to try the letter thing and maybe send them some gifts and that and maybe it will help some. thanks for the advice i really apreciate it.

[Glühbirne]

It's hard with in-laws. I think there are some mother-in-laws that are never going to accept whoever thier son marries no matter who she is. With some, you're always going to be the women who took thier baby boy away.

My grandmother didn't like any of the girlfriends and wives my uncles had, ever. She found too much fault in each and every women that both my uncles ever had during her entire lifetime. NONE of them were good enough for my overweight, illiterate, low-income uncles. She hated my aunt, who at the tiime of her death had been with my uncle for years. She had even lovingly raised his two children from his previous marriage and never had any of her own. My cousins refer to her as "my mom," when they are talking about her. Yet, my grandma wouldn't even accept her after all those years.

SLVJM, if your in-laws still don't realize what an asset you are to your husband after you bore him 3 gorgeous children and left your beloved home to move to a completely foreign land for him, then there's no need stressing yourself out trying to make them like you.

What matters is that he loves you and it sounds like he is doing what a husband should and standing up for you. Just promise yourself that you'll be different and will try to get to know your future daughter-in-laws well before judging them.

[ourboys2]

Living expenses here in Mexico are relatively cheap, but if you don´t have a job, you still can´t pay for them!:blush:

I understand that when we are going to move to Mexico, we are in a very emotional state of mind, or at least it was for me. When I first arrived it was very hard to adjust to so many family members always aware of my every move. I am not a private person and yet I wanted the world to butt out of our lives.

I don´t want to make this extremely long so I will only address that you need to consider how you will support your family once you arrive. It is very difficult for US citizens to obtain employment in Mexico, unless you get a Visa prior to traveling to Mexico. My husband tried for months to get steady work but in the end I now work at home online.

Plus having the family be aware that you can not afford life here is another serious pressure. The pressure of the family may be overwhelming to say the least, so just keep that in mind.

I don´t want to discourage anyone, I just want to share what I have experienced. :wink:

[ourboys2]

The INLAWS

I can honestly say that we were blessed to be so broke soon after we arrived. My inlaws no longer expect us to help out, even though we occassionaly do now. They no longer think that my family, my mom and siblinings, will support us now that we live in Mexico. So I am gratefull for that.

On the other hand, they look down at my husband because he stays home and takes care of all the women´s work, including the laundry and cooking. My MIL finds reasons not to visit us now, on her own accord. We had a serious issue earlier this year, where my husband danned her from visiting, but that has been resolved.(amen to that) But she is very nice now and extremely happy when we go visit her at her home.

My SILs love me, because we had such a rough beginning here and I stuck it out with their brother anyway!!:bleh:

[ourboys2]

well to the part of the inlaws well i still cant get along with my inlaws no matter what we do. the only time they talk to us is when they want money can anyone give me any advise how to get them to like me. I have proved to them that i love my husband so much and that i would do anything to be with him and we have been here in cdj for almost 15months and they just think the same way about me. they live in zacatecas and i told my husband why dont we pay for my motherinlaw and fatherinlaw to come visit us but he is so upset with them he dont want to talk to them. i try to get him to call them no matter what but he just wont give in any advice would be helpful. thanks

Maybe you can just discuss with your husband the fact that you are uncomfortable with being disliked by you MIL and that you want to improve that relationship. I can´t say I know that it will help, but my husband is very stubborn where his family is concerned and he literaly says he can careless what they think, since they are not the one´s supporting his family. So if your husband is anything like mine, he is not going to care that your MIL does not like you. He will do anything but ¨consentir la¨. try to make her happy by just being agreeable.

[ourboys2]

Maybe you can just discuss with your husband the fact that you are uncomfortable with being disliked by you MIL and that you want to improve that relationship. I can´t say I know that it will help, but my husband is very stubborn where his family is concerned and he literaly says he can careless what they think, since they are not the one´s supporting his family. So if your husband is anything like mine, he is not going to care that your MIL does not like you. He will do anything but ¨consentir la¨. try to make her happy by just being agreeable.

I am sorry I didn´t want to sound so bossy. I´m sure you are talking to your husband about this already.

My husband brings it to my attention that I am bossy, but I honestly don´t mean to be, k.

[Family]

The first couple months you are in Mexico, don't try to judge it or understand. Just live the life! It is something that reminds me of vacations. I am one that has to be on time for everything. In our town in Mexico, 9 am could mean 11. Everything is done whenever. The thing is that it will get down. Everyone is much less stressed.

I think I got more stressed in the first couple months adjusting. I learned customs with time. I questioned my husband and others all the time. In most cases, people love to talk about themselves and the local customs. Who doesn't like to chat once and awhile?

[Family]

I don't think this question is right. Heres why. We are the one coming to their house. They are dealing with us. Just remember, even if you don't get along, try to respect them.

I noticed that men talk to men and women talk to women. Luckily, my husbands family is pretty open. I really enjoyed our evenings all together.

The only problem I recall was that I was not use to eating Mexican food everyday. This became an issue to my MIL. She felt that I was trying to change her son into an AMERICAN. After I started cooking family dinners for her and my FIL with us, she really enjoyed it. She was not aware of the dishes that I could make. I left her a lot of my cookbooks so that she could try new things. My MIL taught me how to cook a lot of Mexican food that I didn't know how to cook too!

Just give you MIL a chance, she just wants what is best for you in the end.

[pistolera]

What are some tips for adjusting to the culture and customs?
I can't REally say that there are tips for adjusting the best advice i can give it to approach everything with an open mind
What's in [insert name of dish here]?
depends on what State in the republic you're going to live. In Zacatecas the local favorites are Asado de boda and the clasic mole

How can we maintain a healthy diet on the products available in Mexico?
Most town have local farmers markets. you can find lots of veggies fruits grown in small family owned gardens. Most of them are organic farms but you can also find out by asking. you will find that some produce is cheaper in those markets than in the US but others tend to run about the same specially when there not in season


My husband (or wife) has turned into a different person here. Advice?
to understand that problem you will have to understand the roots or the culture here. Mexican men tend to be "machistas" Macho. ithas become an acceptable in society. Women tend to fall into the role expected of them,a submissive wife. best way to deal with it is to talk about it but not to enter into the conversation with aggresion.its going to make things worse.

Any tips on dealing with my spouse's family in Mexico?
Treat them with the same respect you would your own parents. but dont give in to Strange demands. take in harsh criticism but counter by letting them know your way of doing things for example "what have you done to him he's so skinny dont you feed him" you say "i do but he said he has a perfect body like that" show them that even if your ways are different they still get the job done. thats how I delt with my American MIL

Advice on learning Spanish?

Once you start a course don't give up