Relocating to MX, tell me ur exp?

[bakingmama]

I am really thinking of moving to MX to my finace. He does have a 10 yr ban before filing a waiver, bec he EWI twice in aggregrate. Therefore, just wanted to hear about how your moving experience was if you don't mind. I am just so scared to move there not knowing anyone at all. Thanks a lot for your input.

[losguerra]

Well, my husband and I moved here in October. The only people I knew here were my husband's brother, and also his father, who I met for like 30 minutes when he came up to Chicago for our wedding.

I think the nice things are:

the weather (I'm from Chicago!)
the simplicity of life - you find you can enjoy life with so much less here!
general cost of living is so much less


The aggravating/frustrating things are:

ridiculously low salaries. Our earning power has been reduced to 1/5th of what we earned in the US
trying to make friends. It's been a huge struggle for me. I work in a job where most of my co-workers were raised VERY WEALTHY. I find it so hard to find anything in common with them. Luckily, my husband's work friends are cool and I'm slowing forming some acquaintances, but it will probably be awhile before I have any real friends here.
being far from my friends and family
government/police/general authority structure
the rich-poor gap. We live a basic middle-class life here, but it's difficult to envision ourselves ever advancing more. It's not like the US where your hard work gets you further in life. Here, you work hard and stay right where you are...FOR LIFE! Kinda freaks me out.
getting my work visa/permit. the process is twisted and complicated, and I haven't totally figured it out yet.


You can check out our pictures of our neighborhood (link in my signature). We live quite comfortably, but the emotional toll of moving here takes a bit longer to deal with...

[losguerra]

I guess you're asking about the actual process - in that case, it depends on what you're doing. If you plan to move to CDJ and work on the El Paso side, that solves the problem of a work visa.

In terms of other stuff, it's a matter of getting settled and figuring things out as you go.

You can search for houses to rent online (we did tons of scouting this way and got a good feel for the market and what prices are fair), but ultimately, we found ours by choosing the area we wanted to live in, and then driving around looking for "For Rent" signs and calling the numbers! If you want to check out houses online, here is one website: www.rentero.com.mx. It was decent for Monterrey, not so sure how good it is for CDJ, maybe some of the girls who have lived there can advise on how to look for housing there. Try to give yourself time to scout - there are a LOT of people here willing to overcharge and totally take advantage of outsiders, so make sure you know what prices are fair before you make a deal.

Make sure the house has a boiler, because cold showers are NOT FUN, or else be prepared to buy one, anywhere from $500 - 2,000 Pesos depending on the size and quality you want. Ideally, it would come with a stove and fridge, too. These are priced just a bit higher than in the US, although some of the girls here have tips on buying used appliances for cheap, I can't remember where that thread went.

As far as furniture, it would probably be far easier to buy some cheap stuff here than to bring yours from the US. Flea markets, etc. Again, if somebody finds the thread where that was discussed, this would be very helpful.

The actual getting used to Mexico is a matter of time. I think it could take me years to totally adjust and accept this as my home, but if I knew it was permanent, I could make that adjustment.

[hectorswife]

I only lived there for 8 months, but can relate a bit to losguerra. She's right on about the pros...
-the simplicity and the rest from the business of life here.
-the weather (I'm from MN) it was great to be warm!
-the food was wonderful
-the people are very sweet, though it was hard to make friends. my husband's family was very accepting, but the culture shock was hard at first.. I felt that by the time I was actually making amazing friends I came home.

cons
-it was hard not to be ethnocentric. i got into many pointless arguments on who did things better, etc. it was hard to get over that and realize that it's not about better/worse, it's about different.
-the pay is really really low. i think that hubby made something like $12/day from sun up to sun down.. however, where we were there were no large stores close, so there was no urge to buy...
-i got sick for about 2 months from the water, but wanted to get used to it so i kept on drinking it... so it was hard to be sick! they do however have saltine crackers! (my husband still doesn't understand why i eat them when i'm sick... ) :D
-i only had a permit for 6 months, so i decided to come back to visit and go back and they gave me another 3 months which covered my visit.. i haven't had experience with any real immigration to mexico.
-the hardest thing was probably the difference that i noticed in my husband... he was a bit more "macho" at first, just trying to fit in with his step dad and uncles I guess.. after a while he returned to his normal lovely self, but it was very very hard!!

i hope that helps you... good luck with your decision.

[brezarenee]

I've been so worried about the macho thing you mention! I notice a difference in my husband when he talks to all of his cousins over the phone and sometimes it even sparks fights here!! Also, he's gotten accostumed to doing 50% of the housework since we both work and it's lovely because we are very egalitarian in almost everything. But, I know his family is the complete opposite. I'm worried that when he's home he'll unlearn this all. My MIL I know already thinks I'm lazy for not doing my duty as a mujer and making her baby boy work in the home. Ick.

So, how much stuff did you move with you? We've thought about possibly trying to fill a truck and pull a trailor, but just don't know whether it would be worth it. I've noticed that appliances and furniture are very expensive (and well, not particularily to my liking stylewise) and so we've been looking into bringing just a few things - though not a household full.

[rabbit]

Thanks for your input guys! I am also leaving to mexico in a few weeks (depending what happens at my fiance's master hearing on the 17th). I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing.. but it's nice to hear other peoples experiences before heading down there.
I'm also kinda scared about my fiance changing somewhat when we get down there... I HOPE he doesn't, and I dont really think he will but you never know. It's just so.. I dont know... I just have NO idea what it's going to be like and what's going to happen when we get there. It's so scary!

[hectorswife]

We were very blessed, my husband's cousin let us stay in his house and people loaned us household stuff (stove, fridge, table, bed).. so that was nice. We drove down and just filled what we could of my car (a little malibu).. but it wasn't much b/c there were 2 adults and 2 kids... yikes! I do remember thinking that I brought too much. At first I wanted all of my stuff from here, but after a month or two I wish that I would've left most of it here... especially when it was time to come back. I guess it just depends on how long you're staying. If I were going again I would bring more tampons, laundry stuff, and soap (shampoo, etc).. I remember wanting tampons and they were hard to come by (we were in a little town.. I didn't meet anyone who used them). I also remember just wanting to smell home in my laundry... silly, but it was comforting.

The macho thing was hard and horrible, we too shared all of the duties here.. before we left we were each working a full time job so that the nina didn't have to be in daycare... so when we got there, I just decided that since I wasn't going to be working and he was working his a** off that I would take charge at home... it was hard to be motivated enough to wash clothes by hand everyday and get up at the buttcrack of dawn to go buy the day's food, but it was worth it because I sure did change the stereotype of american girls in my husband's town.. and my husband respected that... it also was nice b/c I think that the women would have not stuck up for me as much if I wouldn't have shown them that I was there to work hard and love my husband. My husband's aunts always said things like "you brought the gringa down here to suffer and you're treating her like crap on top of it?!" so that really helped him to appreciate me a little more... ultimately though it came down to our faith. We're both Christians, and I just would always tell him to love me like the bible commands because I respect him as well... that love/respect thing has always been interesting to me... anyway, good luck, it'll be wonderful!

edit: we did buy a "ropero" when we got down there and that was great for all of our things, I think it was like $200 usd... and for us a mini fridge would have been more than sufficient b/c we bought food fresh every day or every other day...

[rabbit]

Thanks for the tip hectorswife! I will be sure to go buy some more tampons!
I told my brother that I wish I could take a years supply of tide laundry detergent haha. I love that stuff.

[J3NNI]

Well, my husband and I moved here in October. The only people I knew here were my husband's brother, and also his father, who I met for like 30 minutes when he came up to Chicago for our wedding.

I think the nice things are:

the weather (I'm from Chicago!)
the simplicity of life - you find you can enjoy life with so much less here!
general cost of living is so much less


The aggravating/frustrating things are:

ridiculously low salaries. Our earning power has been reduced to 1/5th of what we earned in the US
trying to make friends. It's been a huge struggle for me. I work in a job where most of my co-workers were raised VERY WEALTHY. I find it so hard to find anything in common with them. Luckily, my husband's work friends are cool and I'm slowing forming some acquaintances, but it will probably be awhile before I have any real friends here.
being far from my friends and family
government/police/general authority structure
the rich-poor gap. We live a basic middle-class life here, but it's difficult to envision ourselves ever advancing more. It's not like the US where your hard work gets you further in life. Here, you work hard and stay right where you are...FOR LIFE! Kinda freaks me out.
getting my work visa/permit. the process is twisted and complicated, and I haven't totally figured it out yet.


You can check out our pictures of our neighborhood (link in my signature). We live quite comfortably, but the emotional toll of moving here takes a bit longer to deal with...

Nice pics it look nice where you are.
Jenni

[Autumnstarr71]

Hi Losguerra I went to the web page rentero.com.mx is there anyway to view it in English. I cant read or speak much spanish and how many peso in an american dollar??? Thanks

[AGJB]

losguerra,

Looked at your pix and I loved it when you say that you are Mexicanized in your car tastes! That's a huge truck - very macho!!

[tasksgirl]

I've been so worried about the macho thing you mention! I notice a difference in my husband when he talks to all of his cousins over the phone and sometimes it even sparks fights here!! Also, he's gotten accostumed to doing 50% of the housework since we both work and it's lovely because we are very egalitarian in almost everything. But, I know his family is the complete opposite. I'm worried that when he's home he'll unlearn this all. My MIL I know already thinks I'm lazy for not doing my duty as a mujer and making her baby boy work in the home. Ick.




Lol I am very lucky in that respect.. last week hubby had his mom come in unannounced when the house had not been cleaned and I was mortified.. she took a look around and started to lecture hubby about how HE needed to clean since I was working and HE was home all day and needed to help me more :D my MIL is awesome :D

[hectorswife]

i liked your pics too, losguerra! i once went on a mission's trip to monterrey to a place called back 2 back.. i think that it's close b/c we saw that mountain that looks like a saddle.. we ate at a really great taco place called tacos fede or something like that and went to an AWESOME park called chipinque or something...? ever been??

[brezarenee]

autumnstarr- I'm don't know about getting that website in English, but the easiest rate calculation is 10 pesos = 1 dollar (it varies a lot, but it's the easiest way for me to make quick estimations).

tasks - I'm so jealous!! I haven't lived close to my MIL yet, but from what I know of her, I'm thinking she'll do all of the cleaning and then gossip to all of the rest of the family about what a slob/irresponsible wife I am - lol.

[californiadreamin']

the website you mentioned.....rentero.com.......is there a way to view houses for rent in other states in Mexico?

[Dorothea]

Okay, well I have a very different experience than LosGuerra... I lived for 6 months in the middle of nowhere in the state of Queretaro. We lived with my inlaws, two sisters in law and a brother in law in a 3 room house (we had the only bedroom). Our bedroom door was a curtain. We didn't have running water, but we did have satellite TV! The power went out all the time and would sometimes be our for 2-3 days at a time. Because it was in the mountains the months of Dec. and Jan were very cold, around 40 degrees most days, with constant fog, and no heat.
It was about an hour + by potholey dirt road to get anywhere with civilization.
Lots of things were really hard about the whole things, but lots of things were really wonderful. If I move back to Mexico my husband and I will have to live on our own. I don't care if it's next door to my MIL, just not under the same roof. My in-laws treat me wonderfully, but I've heard many horror stories about in laws mistreating their son's spouse.
It's true, life is very simple in Mexico. I loved that aspect. You can literally survive for days with just a few dollars if need be.

If you and your fiance can make your own life then there are many really wonderful things about being in Mexico. I actually really hope some day I'll be able to live there again by my own choice.
Anyway, if you have questions, let me know.

[Dorothea]

I've been so worried about the macho thing you mention! I notice a difference in my husband when he talks to all of his cousins over the phone and sometimes it even sparks fights here!! Also, he's gotten accostumed to doing 50% of the housework since we both work and it's lovely because we are very egalitarian in almost everything. But, I know his family is the complete opposite. I'm worried that when he's home he'll unlearn this all. My MIL I know already thinks I'm lazy for not doing my duty as a mujer and making her baby boy work in the home. Ick.

So, how much stuff did you move with you? We've thought about possibly trying to fill a truck and pull a trailor, but just don't know whether it would be worth it. I've noticed that appliances and furniture are very expensive (and well, not particularily to my liking stylewise) and so we've been looking into bringing just a few things - though not a household full.

Oh, that whole macho thing is an issue... My husband was his regular self for about 3 days once we got to his family's. And then he turned into a mean, bossy, macho poop head... I still see glimpses of him in there, but sometimes I have a terrible time dealing with his machoism. He swears some day he'll be himself again, and says that he has to be like that in Mexico. I just wait for the day we are together and he is himself again.:)

[losguerra]

Oops, sorry. Not only is rentero.com only available in Spanish, but it only lists houses in Monterrey. There were so many others we were using, but I can't remember a single one right now. I'll post again if I find a better site.

[Emily]

Lol I am very lucky in that respect.. last week hubby had his mom come in unannounced when the house had not been cleaned and I was mortified.. she took a look around and started to lecture hubby about how HE needed to clean since I was working and HE was home all day and needed to help me more :D my MIL is awesome :D

Thats so funny. I hope my MIL is like that; we only talk on the phone. My sisters MIL is the MIL from hell, and they hate each other! I'm nervous because we plan to go visit 2 months before the cdj interview.

[Emily]

Oh, that whole macho thing is an issue... My husband was his regular self for about 3 days once we got to his family's. And then he turned into a mean, bossy, macho poop head... I still see glimpses of him in there, but sometimes I have a terrible time dealing with his machoism. He swears some day he'll be himself again, and says that he has to be like that in Mexico. I just wait for the day we are together and he is himself again.:)

mines been a mean, macho a-hole our entire marriage so hopefuly nothing will change if we were to move to mexico, lol. I've just learned to deal with it, and not to take it to heart:)

[rabbit]

mines been a mean, macho a-hole our entire marriage so hopefuly nothing will change if we were to move to mexico, lol. I've just learned to deal with it, and not to take it to heart:)

HAHA!

[tasksgirl]

wow Nuevo Leon looks really nice.. I was just looking at the rentals just for fun ..

[tasksgirl]

How come that site doesn't have other areas? Or am I just looking wrong..

[losguerra]

Yeah, it's really not bad here in Nuevo Leon. Closest thing to living in Texas you will ever experience this side of the border.

Tasksgirl, I realized after I posted that site that it only has N.L. There were others that included other cities, but I can't find them right now....:(

[J3NNI]

:thumbup:Lol I am very lucky in that respect.. last week hubby had his mom come in unannounced when the house had not been cleaned and I was mortified.. she took a look around and started to lecture hubby about how HE needed to clean since I was working and HE was home all day and needed to help me more :D my MIL is awesome :D

Thats great, what good mil you have
Jenni

[tasksgirl]

oops sorry missed where you had said that..

hmm this is the same I am paying for rent right now - http://tijuana.en.craigslist.com.mx/apa/602892370.html I am loving that balcony..

Wish my job was in San Diego and not L.A. !!!

[losguerra]

Yeah, that's the first (and biggest) pleasant surprise in Mexico. The quality/affordability of housing is unbelievable compared to most major US cities. If somebody's pulling in a US income, it could be possible to live quite nicely here.

[tasksgirl]

Yeah definately.. nice to see the options if he gets backlogged aren't so terrible.. is TJ an ok place if you stay near the border and on the beach? Touristy gringo places? lol

[bakingmama]

Thanks everyone for your input I really appreciate it. I started a thread re: if anyone lives in Neza, bec that is where we will probably be living w/ MIL for awhile. Thanks again, much appreciated.

[~MP~]

Lol I am very lucky in that respect.. last week hubby had his mom come in unannounced when the house had not been cleaned and I was mortified.. she took a look around and started to lecture hubby about how HE needed to clean since I was working and HE was home all day and needed to help me more :D my MIL is awesome :D

My MIL is like that over the phone :D
She is always telling him to make sure he helps me with everything and to give him a coscoron (sp)...I think that is a punch in spanish..or a pinch.

[tasksgirl]

hehe 'dale un coco!'